


You Took My Soul And Wiped it Clean (Our Love Was Made for Movie Screens)

by larrymylove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Childhood Sweethearts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Hate to Love, M/M, Phone Sex, Photographer Harry, Photography, Roommates, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teasing, Top Harry, Top Louis, they kinda share that really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:38:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 48,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8012155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>His world began to grow back. He graduated with his three best mates, went off to uni, was majoring in education, managed to get decent grades. He was doing fine without Harry Styles in his life. One boy who he knew for five weeks five years ago was nothing. Harry Styles was nothing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Except he wasn’t. Except that whenever something happened, Louis wanted to call up Harry and tell him. Except that whenever Louis ate a pastry, he told himself that it’d never be as good as the ones Harry could make. Except that coffee no longer tasted as good as it had when he’d been sitting across from a pretty boy with pretty curls and pretty lips and pretty green eyes. Except that in spite of everything, Harry Styles was still everything.</em>
</p>
<p>Louis was doing a pretty good job at pretending Harry Styles didn’t exist in the world - up until one of his housemates moves out, and he and his three best mates are in search of a fifth person to split the bills with and Harry Styles shows up on their doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Oh my goodness, I can't believe I am finally posting this!! I have been working on this for over five months now, and I am so excited to finally be able to post it. This originally was just going to be a short little one shot, but the story kept growing, and I am so, so happy with how it turned out. For the last five months, I've thrown myself into this story and it's become my baby and I am just so happy/proud with how it all came together. I truly hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It's kind of bittersweet to post it - it's something I've worked on for so long now and it's finally completed so it is a bit bittersweet - but I am so excited to share it with all of you and to get your feedback. 
> 
> Thank you always for reading xx

 

“I don’t understand why we need a new roommate,” Louis huffed, tossing his feet up onto the coffee table in front of the couch he was currently slumped on, “What was wrong with Alex?”

“Alex got an internship and needed to move, remember?” Liam sat down next to Louis and patted his knee, “Besides, you hated Alex.”

“Wrong,” Louis held up a finger as he corrected, “I was getting used to Alex. A new guy is just going to fuck with the whole dynamic of everything. We have a good thing going here, the four of us. A newbie will mess with that. It’ll tilt our axis, and everything will be off balance and…”

“Always so dramatic,” Zayn chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“Think of it like this,” Liam tried, “Do you really want to be raising your cost of rent and living? I don’t think so. Besides, from speaking to him on the phone, Harry is a very nice guy. I’m sure he’ll be a fine roommate.”

“If you completely hate the bloke, we can take that into consideration. But this is just him stopping by for an interview. Nothing more. Nothing is set in stone, Tommo. This is just us getting to know him, test the waters a bit, see if he’ll be a good fit or not.”

It was official. They were all plotting against him.

“He better not eat all my cereal,” Louis grumbled. 

It wasn’t that he’d mind having another roommate, it was just that Alex had been so...strange. He was very academic minded, and often holed up in his room studying, never wanting to come out even for drinks at the pub. Louis rarely saw him, and rarely spoke to him. He even tried to start a rumor among their house that Alex had a tail. When Liam tried to put a stop to it, Louis would just say, “Well how would you know, Leemo? You haven’t see that he _doesn’t_ , have you?” And Liam would shut up. Alex had gotten offered some fancy internship across town, and moved to another flat to be closer to his new job. And Liam had a point, without a fifth person there to help with rent and groceries, it was difficult. They needed that fifth person. But Louis liked things the way they’d been the last few weeks - when it’d been just him, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. They’d all known each other since they were in primary, and sharing the off-campus house with them was like sharing a house with three rowdy brothers. Louis loved it. He didn’t want someone coming in and messing with that.

“What time will he be here?” Louis tugged at his fringe.

“In about five minutes actually,” Liam slapped at Louis’ knee gently as he stood from the couch, “Behave, Lou. This is an interview, not an inquisition. We just want to see if he’s a good fit for us. Not bring him up on charges of heresy.”

“If I hate him can we have him burned at the stake?”

“Jesus, Lou,” Zayn sat down in one of the chairs by the television.

“What?” Louis shot a glare to Zayn, “I’m not happy about this, in case you didn’t pick up on that.”

“Lou, a fucking satellite in space could pick up how unhappy you are about this. But like Li said, try to behave. He could be a great roommate and I don’t want you scaring him off.”

“Great roommate,” Louis grumbled mockingly, rolling his eyes, “I doubt that.”

“Yeah well what would you know,” Liam asked, heading towards the entryway, “This morning you replaced my shampoo with mayonnaise.”

Louis gasped, affronted, “Payno, what are you suggesting?”

“That you’re a shitty roommate and I don’t know why I tolerate you,” Liam smiled brightly.

That was a damn, dirty lie and Louis told him as much, “That is a dirty, dirty lie, Leemo. You know I am a _fantastic_ roommate!”

“Right,” Zayn snorted.

“I am!” Louis made a mental note to replace all their shampoos with mayonnaise. Besides, it was a genius prank. He didn’t know what Liam was so bitter about. If anything, he should be bowing down and worshiping him as the God of Pranks. Louis should get a crown, really.

The doorbell rang, interrupting Louis from telling Liam to buy him a crown. Which was probably for the best, considering Liam seemed a bit sore with him honestly, and Louis really wasn’t in the mood for a punishing pinch to his nipple. So he bit his tongue, for once, as Liam went to answer the door. Maybe the new roommate would buy him a crown.

“Hiya, Harry!” Liam said, “Come right this way. The boys are just in the living room.”

Zayn shot Louis a threatening look, mouthing, “ _Be nice._ ”

Louis rolled his eyes. Of course he was going to be nice. He was always nice. Or at least his definition of nice anyway. Louis sat up a little straighter on the couch as Liam and the possible new roommate entered the living room.

“Harry, why don’t you take a seat in that chair by the television opposite Zayn, and we’ll get started.”

Louis glanced up to see a boy with long legs clad in black skinny jeans standing beside his end of the couch. And suddenly, Louis’ world stopped spinning.

“Lou?” Niall nudged him, “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I think I have,” Louis blinked, staring up at the familiar face. It’d been almost five years now, but he’d recognize that face anywhere, “And no. I’m sorry, but no. This isn’t going to work out. I’m sorry.”

“I-I had no idea…” the boy’s green eyes widened in horror, “I really didn’t.”

“Whoa,” Liam stepped between them, “Want to tell me what’s going on here? Louis?”

Why was Liam looking to him as if Louis had done something. Louis folded his arms over his chest, “That’s Harry,” Louis said, with as much disdain as he could muster in his voice. He was quite certain the universe hated him, that had to be it. There was no other explanation here apart from the universe hating him. Louis should never have put that mayonnaise in Liam’s shampoo.

“Who’s Harry?” Niall asked.

“Wait, _Harry-_ Harry?” Zayn’s eyes widened.

“How do you know _Harry-_ Harry and I don’t?” Niall pouted.

“Who’s Harry?” Liam asked, “Louis? Who’s Harry?”

“I-I really should go,” Harry looked desperately behind him towards the direction of the door. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were bright pink and he looked completely and totally embarrassed by the whole situation. Louis didn’t want to embarrass him, he just didn’t want him there. 

“Don’t go,” Liam protested, “We can figure this out. I’m sure there’s no problem here, is there Lou?” Liam was staring intensely at Louis, as if daring him to say otherwise.

“No problem,” Louis mumbled.

“Good. Now then, kindly explain to me what’s going on here.”

Louis sighed. He really, really didn’t want to get into that - especially not with Harry standing right beside him. He wished the floor would open up and swallow the couch, and him, whole. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with this.

“Harry is...Harry is...my ex,” Louis managed to say.

“What? When did you have a Harry?” Niall asked.

Louis rolled his eyes, “Remember that year when I was seventeen and we stayed with my grandparents that summer? That’s when I had a Harry. Only, not really. Because you can’t have something that was never yours to begin with.”

“Jesus,” Zayn pinched the bridge of his nose and Harry blanched, “Louis, stop with the dramatics, will you? Louis met Harry while he was staying with his grandparents. They had a summer thing and Louis came home for the fall and that was that, really.”

“No one asked you,” Louis mumbled.

“Well you weren’t explaining.”

“Wait, how do you know this stuff but we don’t?” Liam asked, sounding mildly affronted.

Zayn shrugged, “He just told me one night when he got home.”

“I really, really should be going,” Harry spoke again, jolting the four of them as if reminding them that oh yeah, there was another person standing there. Louis looked up at Harry. He had his hands folded in front of him and was standing in that stupid pigeon-toed way that always got under Louis’ skin. He looked so awkward. Good. Louis hoped he felt just as awkward, if not more, than he looked considering he was the one causing this gigantic mess. Louis would have been just fine going on about his life as if Harry never had existed in it in the first place.

“No, don’t,” Liam placed a gentle hand on Harry’s shoulder. Louis wanted to smack it off, “We can figure this out, alright? Now, when you called about the room last week, you mentioned being really in need of a place. We aren’t about to turn you away based on whatever happened five years ago. So why don’t you go ahead and have a seat, and we’ll conduct the interview.”

“I just don’t know if this is a good idea anymore,” Harry bit his bottom lip with his two massive front teeth, “I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable and Louis…”

And okay, no. Harry was not allowed to take Louis into consideration now. He sure as hell hadn’t taken him into consideration five years ago when he’d completely erased Louis from his life without even a second thought.

“I’m fine,” Louis countered, jutting his chin out slightly.

“Are...are you sure?” 

“Absolutely. Now, sit.”

Harry nodded, still looking apprehensive as ever as he slid into the empty chair on the other side of the television. Liam sunk back down beside Louis and put a hand back on Louis’ knee, as if reminding him to be nice throughout the interview. Louis could be nice, he could. But this was Harry. The same Harry he’d fallen madly in love with at the tender age of seventeen. Harry had been everything to him, until Louis had to move back home. And they’d exchanged numbers with promises of phone calls. And it’d worked for awhile. Louis had tried. He had. He’d put in the effort. But one night, when he called up Harry for their nightly talk, Harry had said that he couldn’t do this anymore. And Louis’ whole world had come tumbling down around him. He’d told Zayn, but he hadn’t told the other boys. Those had been scabs he didn’t want to peel back any farther. And now Harry was here, in his home. And Louis didn’t know what to do with that - didn’t know what to do with him. He dug his nails into his palms, knowing there’d be crescent moons there even tomorrow. But he honestly was fighting with every cell of his body not to either go over and hug Harry, or punch him in the jaw. 

“Right,” Liam cleared his throat, “So, Harry. You know Louis, and I’m Liam. That’s Zayn over there, and that’s Niall. We’ve been rooming together for the last few semesters, and we recently lost one of roommates. We really need another person so we can afford to stay here. From my understanding, you really need a place to stay. Care to elaborate on that?”

Harry’s leg bounced, and Louis wanted to march across the smack his hand over his knee. He looked nervous and terrified and like he’d rather be anywhere else but there at the moment. And Louis hated that. It wasn’t his fault that Harry was here. 

“Oh um...let’s just say the place I where I was staying kind of fell through suddenly. I uh…” Harry tucked a flyaway curl behind his ear, “...I’m kind of desperate.”

“Right. Okay. Well, what are you studying?”

“Photography. It was going to be law, but that just wasn’t for me. I’m more of an art person, anyway. I uh...I use the university’s dark room a lot. And sort of keep odd hours there. I wouldn't like be...in the way here...or anything. I have my own stuff and my own things to do. I wouldn't be annoying. I promise.”

“No one thinks you’d be annoying,” Zayn said gently before shooting another death glare in Louis’ direction. Louis shifted on the couch, really wishing he could be anywhere else but right there at the moment. Louis tugged at his fringe, wishing they could just be done with this. There had to be other options for Harry. Plenty of other people were looking for roommates. It wasn’t like they were his only option, right? He just needed to go and find those other people, and be out of Louis’ life again for good.

“Oh, okay.” Harry seemed timid. Louis didn’t like him timid. He wondered what happened to the loud, happy boy he’d fallen in love with five years ago - the boy who didn’t even have the word ‘shy’ in his vocabulary. This Harry was a lot different from that boy. This Harry looked like he didn’t exactly fit anywhere. Louis almost felt a little bit bad. Almost. 

“How are your grades?” Liam asked.

“Jesus,” Niall groaned, “Li, we’re looking for a roommate here. Who gives a fuck about his grades?”

“I just want to know what kind of student he is,” Liam insisted, “If he’s the type to party a lot and blow off classes or…”

“I’m not that type,” Harry interrupted quickly, “I’m not. I uh...I honestly have never been to a party before. And I kind of have a lot to prove grade-wise. So...I take my education very seriously. I don’t blow off classes. I study hard. I’m also a fairly good roommate. I’m neat. I keep my space clean. I can even cook for you if you’d like. I just...I need a place to stay. Like, soon. And I know this might be a bit awkward,” Harry cast a shy look to Louis before lowering his eyes back to the black shag rug under his feet, “But I need a place. I’ll do anything, really. I’ll even do your laundry for you. I just...I need a place.”

“Hold up,” Liam looked to Harry with nothing but concern in his eyes, “No one is doing anyone’s laundry, Harry. If your situation is as desperate as you say, it seems we’re in the same boat. You need a house, and we need a housemate. And maybe the circumstances aren’t ideal,” Liam squeezed his grip on Louis’ knee, “But it is what it is. Boys, a vote. All in favor of Harry moving in, raise your hand.”

Louis knew he was outnumbered even before he lifted his head to look at the number of hands. It was three to one. Louis hated them all. He was musing if they had cello wrap in the pantry for him to wrap the toilets in as payback when Liam jostled his leg.

“Lou, is that alright with you? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But we’re in a tight spot.”

Louis wanted to yell. He wanted to say that no, it absolutely was _not_ alright with him. But he made the mistake of letting his eyes wander to Harry. He was nibbling on his thumbnail, looking distressed. His cheeks were still pink and his leg was still shaking away. Louis took a deep breath. He hated how upset Harry looked. He might hate Harry for what he’d done to him all those years ago, but he wasn’t heartless. Clearly, whatever Harry’s situation was, it wasn’t good. He needed a place to stay, and Louis knew they needed a new roommate to help front the bills. Besides, the boys had all voted. And as much as Louis hated them, he loved them more. If they wanted this, he knew he’d agree. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to put up a bit of a fight over it first.

“As long as he stays away from me, we’ll be good,” he answered bitingly. 

“I-I can do that,” Harry nodded softly, “When can I move in?”

“As soon as you can,” Liam shrugged brightly.

“Welcome home, H,” Niall hopped from the couch to go to Harry and fling his arms around his neck in typical, happy, Niall fashion. Harry seemed clearly taken back, but after a moment, a smile broke out across his face and he brought his hands up to hold onto Niall’s arm. Louis couldn’t help but think - _happy looks good on him._ But there was something about the smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. The dimple in his cheek didn’t crater as deep as it’d used to. Louis frowned, not quite sure what to make of that.

Harry left to go get his things. He said he’d be back in about an hour, and Liam set about making sure - for the hundredth time since Alex had left - that the room he’d be using was clean. 

“Something’s off with that boy,” Niall announced as he began to set up a FIFA match, “I don’t know what it is, but he seems so sad. I think we should make this place a home for him. I get the vibe that he’s a bit lost and alone. No one should feel like that. So let’s make this place a home for him, make him feel welcome.”

“That’s an excellent idea, Niall,” Zayn said, pressing a kiss to Niall’s cheek to confirm his approval, “And I agree. He does seem rather sad. Whatever he’s got going on in his life, it must be tough. This should be a safe place for him. A place where he can feel comfortable. Got that, Louis?” Zayn shot Louis another glare.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that? I might not like the kid, but I’m not gonna chase him away with his tail between his legs. He can stay here. I’ve already agreed to that. And I’ll be civil, when I have to see him. But I don’t have to like him, and I don’t have to be friendly to him. I don’t owe him anything. If you want to make him feel at home, good for you. But this isn’t his home. My home is _not_ his home.”

“Jesus Lou,” Liam said, coming out of Harry’s room with a dust rag in his hand, “What happened between the two of you anyway?”

“Long story,” Louis muttered. He really, really didn’t want to get into it. He’d been just fine pretending that Harry Styles did not exist in the world. Why did that have to go and get all fucked up?

“Please tell us,” Liam tossed the rag into the hamper in the hall before coming into the living room to join the rest of them, “I want to know. It’d help us understand. I mean, you know we love you and we’d side with you on most things. But I just feel like Harry deserves a fair shot. Unless there’s reason he doesn’t. Is there reason he doesn’t, Lou?”

Louis dug his nails into his arms as he folded his arms across his chest, “No, he deserves a fair shot, I guess. From you. Not from me though. He blew any fair shot he might have had from me. You lads remember when Mark and me mum were fighting pretty bad, right? Well, they sent us off to live with my grandparents for the summer. I was not happy about it at all. I wanted to be there for my mum, not in a whole different town.”

“Pitched a proper fit about it if memory serves,” Niall smirked.

“Yeah well. I was there for maybe three days before Nan insisted I get out and explore the town a little. Said I was being too mopey and that she wouldn’t have me moping about in her home. So I went for a walk and just sort of wandered around the town until I happened upon this little bakery. And it smelled so lovely. So I went inside for a pastry and a coffee, and when I got up to the counter to place my order, I was met by the loveliest boy you’d ever imagine. With chocolate curls and bright, big green eyes, and dimples. God, those dimples. Anyway, that was Harry. And he saw I was upset, and took his break early so he could sit with me and chat with me. And he was so lovely and kind to me. He made me laugh for the first time in what felt like forever. I guess you could say I was smitten with him. I came to the bakery every day after that just to see him,” Louis dug his nails in deeper into the flesh of his arm, “And we spent every minute we could together. And then it was time to come home, and we exchanged numbers. Told ourselves we could do the long distance thing. That month with him...it’d been so intense. I figured we could make it work. That we could be the exception. And it worked for awhile. But then...I called him up one night and he told me it was over. That he just couldn’t do this anymore. And that was that. He didn’t even…he didn’t even let me try to change his mind. He’d decided he was done, and there was nothing I could do about it. It...it messed me up for awhile. I didn’t talk about him, because I couldn’t talk about him. I just tried to erase him from my mind, and it worked. I was fine. Up until today. I’d tried to forget him. I really did. But here he is and he’s going to be living with us and I just...I can’t be fine with that.”

“Lou, I am so sorry.”

Louis glanced up to Liam, shrugging as apathetic as he could, “It’s fine. Some things aren’t meant to work out. We were one of those things. It’s just...he’d told me he was all in. He was...he was my first for a lot of things. It was just a month, but it was the most real thing I’d ever had with anyone. And it’s been five fucking years, and I’ve still never been with a boy who makes me feel the way he did. With Harry, everything felt like magic. And then he was just done with me. And between him throwing me away, and Mark throwing us away, I just wanted to forget him. He doesn’t deserve any more of my thoughts or time. He wasted enough of it as it was. But here he is. And fuck. I didn’t even know he attended this university. I didn’t even know...I didn’t know where he was. And now he’s going to be living under the same roof as me. I won’t be able to escape him, or the memories he’s going to dig up. You know he was the one who helped me through everything that month. I confided to him about my parents, and then when Mark finally did leave, he was the only one I wanted to turn to and I couldn’t.”

“Do you think that’s where some of the abandonment issues come from?” Zayn asked. And fuck him for even suggesting such thing, really. Louis saw white as his head whipped around to face Zayn.

“Fuck you, Malik,” Louis spat the words out like venom. He didn’t fucking have abandonment issues, okay? He was fine. He was perfectly fine. He wasn’t going to let Harry, or Mark for that matter, fuck him up enough to make him have issues. And Zayn could go to hell if he thought otherwise.

“Louis…”

“No,” Louis stood from the couch, “Fuck you for saying that. I don’t have abandonment issues. I don’t have any issues. The only issue I have is that you’re letting an arsehole move into my house. An arsehole who broke my heart and made me feel like I was nothing. So forgive me for being a bit pissed at the lot of you for that. I don’t give two shits what he’s been through, or what he’s going through. I don’t want him under this roof!”

Liam tried to say something, but Louis shook of his words as he stormed to his bedroom. His world had been completely turned upside down. They couldn’t honestly blame him for being a bit sore about that. Besides, it wasn’t his fault that they were a bunch of backstabbing traitors, automatically welcoming Harry Styles into their home with open arms in spite of knowing that Louis didn’t want him there. Niall had said that Harry seemed lost and alone. Louis suddenly was feeling very similar. 

He sunk into his bed, turning on the television that stood on his wardrobe, and pulling up an episode of Breaking Bad. Walt and Jesse would be a good distraction. Maybe their shitty lives would take away from and make him forget his own shitty life. Louis tried to focus on the episode, he did. But all he could think about was that night five years ago. Harry had made him feel invincible - as if nothing could touch him. He told him that his parents’ fighting wasn’t his fault, that he mattered and was worth something. He made Louis feel fireproof that summer. And then one night, Harry lit a match, and proved all the things he’d made Louis believe about himself wrong. One night, and his whole world had come crumbling down. And he hadn’t even had the time to pick up the pieces before the next shock had hit into him like a semi. He’d lost Harry and he’d lost Mark - all in the matter of a week. And when he’d called Harry that night after Mark had driven away, hot tears streaming down his face as he paced around his bedroom, Harry hadn’t answered. The phone rang and rang. And Louis kept calling - kept leaving voicemail after voicemail to please, please, please fucking pick up. And then the ringing stopped. And his calls when straight to voicemail. And then finally a computerized voice said: the number you have reached is unavailable. And Louis’ whole world burned.

He told Zayn about Harry. A few nights after, as they shared a joint in Zayn’s basement - listening to Brand New and being overall just an absolute typical high school cliche. And Zayn had held him as Louis had cried and cried and cried. And he’d made Zayn promise not to say anything to the other boys. He didn’t want to deal with that. He was finished. He’d decided he’d spent all the tears he’d wanted to spend, and then some. It was finished. No amount of talking about it would change anything. And Louis started to make the effort to move on and forget. His world began to grow back. He graduated with his three best mates, went off to uni, was majoring in education, managed to get decent grades. He was doing fine without Harry Styles in his life. One boy who knew for five weeks five years ago was nothing. Harry Styles was nothing.

Except he wasn’t. Except that whenever something happened, Louis wanted to call up Harry and tell him. Except that whenever Louis ate a pastry, he told himself that it’d never be as good as the ones Harry could make. Except that coffee no longer tasted as good as it had when he’d been sitting across from a pretty boy with pretty curls and pretty lips and pretty green eyes. Except that in spite of everything, Harry Styles was still everything.

He was on his third episode of Breaking Bad when there was a knock on his door. Louis rolled his eyes, not wanting to deal with any of the traitors right now. He was still angry and wanted to still be angry - in the privacy of his own room thank you very much. Louis grabbed one of the pillows from behind his back and tossed it at the door with all the force he could manage as he said, “Fuck off.”

“Louis, c’mon,” Zayn plead, “Can I come in, please?”

“No.”

Of course, Zayn didn’t listen. Louis made a mental note to put shaving cream in his shoes.

“He’s all settled in,” Zayn said, shutting the door behind him and coming over to sit on the edge of Louis’ bed, “He didn’t bring much, which was odd. Just a few boxes of things. Luckily Alex didn’t take the bed with him, or else Harry’d be sleeping on the floor probably.”

“Why are you telling me any of this?” Louis asked flatly.

“I just...I don’t know,” Zayn shrugged, “I’m sorry, Lou. I know he’s probably the last person in the world you’d ever want to be living here. But something tells me his circumstances aren’t great. We just wanted to help him. I’m sorry if you felt like we betrayed you in any way…”

“You’re all filthy traitors and I hate every one of you.”

“Oh you do not,” Zayn chuckled, “But honestly, Lou. I am sorry. But maybe this will be a good thing for the two of you - give you some type of closure or something.”

“Can you fucking quit with your psychology mumbo-jumbo for a fucking minute, Z. Christ.”

“I’m sorry,” Zayn tugged at a thread on the duvet, “And I am sorry about that comment about abandonment issues. I shouldn’t have said that, Lou.”

“Yeah, you’re damn right you shouldn’t have said that.”

“I worry about you sometimes, Lou. You know I love you. I just want you to be okay. And I don’t want Harry being here to make you feel uncomfortable. This is your home too. We’re going to order pizza - Niall’s idea. And have like a pizza and movie night to welcome Harry here. I know you might not want to join us for that, but it’d be awesome if you did. We’d all love for you to come out and be out there with us. You can’t hide in here forever, Lou.”

“I’m not hiding,” Louis spat out, “And I don’t want to fucking have a pizza and movie night with you. Harry might be living here now, but that doesn’t mean I have to see him or interact with him. And I certainly don’t have to make him feel welcome here. You seem to have that covered all on your own. I’m perfectly fine in here with my Netflix. You can go make the bastard feel welcome.”

“Lou…”

“Zayn. I love you. So I suggest you leave before I say something that’ll hurt the both of us.”

Zayn opened his mouth to say something else, maybe to argue, but he closed it and nodded before standing up from the bed.

Louis looked away as Zayn headed back out to the living room. He hated being angry with Zayn, and really he wasn’t too angry with him. He was angry at Harry Styles, but he wasn’t speaking or looking at Harry Styles, so his anger was all redirected to Zayn. And Louis knew he wasn’t being fair. He knew that Harry’s situation seemed shitty. He knew that his friends were just being good, kind people. It’s one of the things he loved so much about them. But he was still angry, and was going to remain angry. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to go out for some sort of Harry Styles welcoming party. No thank you. 

Zayn had said he couldn’t hide forever. Louis leaned back against his pillows, muttering, “Just fucking watch me.”

\----

It was a quarter past ten and Louis was hungry was the thing. His stomach was rumbling and he could smell the pizza wafting in from the living room. Scowling, Louis folded his arms over his chest. He was not going to go out there. There was no way in hell he was going out there. No thank you. He was just fine sitting on his bed, watching Breaking Bad. Besides, he could wait until they’d all gone to bed. Then he could sneak out and munch on the leftover pizza he knew Zayn would set aside for him.

But it was hours past the time he normally ate, and Louis was starving. But the sounds of a second movie echoed into his bedroom and he could hear the boys laughing out in the living room. He couldn’t go out there. He just couldn’t. Louis had way more pride than that. But then he heard Niall cackle at something, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips subconsciously. Maybe he could go out there, just for a moment. Just to grab his pizza and then head back to his room. He wouldn’t even have to talk to them. He would just go out, grab his pizza and maybe a beer, and come back to his room. No interaction whatsoever. He could do that, right? Louis took a deep breath before swinging his legs off the side of his bed. For some reason, he adjusted his fringe and made sure his t-shirt wasn’t a complete wrinkled mess, before opening his bedroom door just a crack. He stared down the hallway to the living room. The lights were off and the blue light of the TV flickered and made everything cast in shadows. Louis took another little breath. At least it was dark. Maybe he could sneak past without being seen. He could be very stealthy if he wanted to be. He tip-toed out towards the living room, feeling like a regular spy. James Bond who, right?

Suddenly, Liam whipped around and said, “Oh, Lou! Nice of you to join us!” And Louis wanted to melt into the floorboards.

He nodded curtly, “Just grabbing some pizza - that is if you lot didn’t eat it all already.”

“There’s a box in the fridge with a few slices kept over for you,” Zayn explained, “Care to join us for the movie? We’re watching Interstellar.”

“I’m just here to grab my pizza, that’s all,” Louis said, ducking towards the kitchen. And that just wasn’t fair really. Interstellar was one of his favorite movies. He felt absolutely, utterly betrayed. But he was hungry, and couldn’t focus on that right now. Instead, he focused on finding his left over pizza, and arranging the slices on a plate while staring out towards the television from the corner of his eyes. Matthew McConaughey was a genius, really. Suddenly, as Louis was sneakily nibbling on his pizza while watching the movie from the kitchen, a gangly figure emerged from the shadows of the living room. Louis felt his stomach dip as Harry actually began to walk towards the kitchen. And no, this could not be happening. Louis felt a little panicked all of a sudden. This was not happening. It just wasn’t.

“Hi,” Harry said, giving a little wave with the gigantic paw he had for a hand.

“What?” Louis asked, turning away to grab a beer from the fridge.

“I just wanted to talk to you for a second. Is that alright?”

“I don’t know,” Louis set the bottle on the counter and dug around in the drawer for the bottle opener, “I mean, you already have moved in here, taken over my house, my living room, my friends. Seems like you don’t really need my permission to do anything.”

Harry winced and Louis had to turn away from the hurt look on his face as he cracked the beer open.

“Look,” Louis said, “You’re here now. There’s nothing I can do about that, clearly. If it was up to me, I’d never have to see your face ever again. Now I’m going to have to see it everyday. So the best I can suggest is that you stay out of my way, Styles. I’ll keep out of your way if you keep out of mine. You might live here, you might have charmed all my friends. But I know you, and I don’t have to be nice to you. So no, you may not talk to me for a second. You may not look at me. You may not speak to me. As far as I’m concerned, you still don’t exist in my world. Now kindly go back out and watch your movie with my friends, in my living room, on the couch that I helped pay for.”

Harry’s face crumbled, and he turned quickly to head back to the living room. Louis tried to feel a little surge of pride in himself. He had wanted to tell Harry for for years for what he’d done to him. But there was something heavy in the pit of his stomach. Louis tried to ignore it, swallowing down a long pull of beer before heading back to his room. Suddenly, he wasn’t all that hungry anymore.

\----

Louis couldn’t sleep. He tried to, but he just couldn’t seem to get comfortable enough to relax peacefully against his pillows. Tea would help. Tea was always the cure to all problems. So Louis got up and padded out to the kitchen to fix a cup of Yorkshire. That would surely do the trick. It was late, and all the lights were off. Everyone had gone to bed. Louis fixed his tea - milk, no sugar, just as tea should be - before sitting down on the couch in the living room to sip on it. To the right of the living room was a hallway with his and Liam’s rooms. To the left of the living room was another hallway with Niall’s, Zayn’s, and now Harry’s room. Louis stared towards that hallway, feeling something squirm inside of him. Never in a million years would he have imagined being under the same roof as Harry Styles. It made him more than just a little uneasy. Harry was just a few meters away, sleeping in a bedroom that now belonged to him. And Louis didn’t know how to process that.

Louis set his cup down on the coffee table and padded quietly down the left hallway. He knew he was being a creep. Like this was a whole other level of creepy. Louis should really have his head examined. But he found himself standing outside of Harry’s bedroom door. There was a small light peering out from the crack under the door. And Louis could hear Harry on the phone. He knew he should turn around, go back out, and finish his tea. He was being weird. Zayn would have a field day psychoanalyzing this! Louis was just about to turn to leave when he heard Harry’s voice say--

“It’s fine, Gemma. I’m safe here. Really. I know, I know. I just didn’t want to trouble you. Besides, you and Stephen have Ellie and I would just be in the way. But I’m fine here. My new roommates all seem so nice. They’re treating me very well and being very welcoming.” The tone in his voice as Harry said that made Louis feel sick to the pit of his stomach. 

“It’s fine,” Harry said, his voice cracking a little at the end, “I’m fine. And besides, I’ve got my classes here. I couldn’t just drop everything and move away. I’m doing well in school. I wasn’t going to let Patrick take that away from me too. I know, it’s late. I’ll talk to later, okay? I love you. Oh um...say hi to mum and dad for me I guess. I know, but at least...at least try. Okay. I love you. Night, Gems.”

Louis felt something slither in the pit of his stomach. He remembered Harry’s sister, Gemma. She was pretty and funny and smart as a whip. Apparently she had a partner, and a kid? And who was Patrick? And what all had he already taken away from Harry? Louis felt sick. Something was off here. Something wasn’t right in Harry’s life, and Louis had been a total arsehole to him that day. But really, it was justified, right? Harry had completely shattered his heart. And when Louis had needed him most, he wasn’t there. Louis didn’t know what to do. Part of him wanted to knock on Harry’s door, wanted to apologize for being a bit of a prick. He wanted to talk things through with Harry, find out why he’d treated him the way he had - ended things the way he had. But just as he raised his fist to knock on the door, he heard a soft little sob on the other side. Louis lowered his hand, and headed back to his own room - pretending he hadn’t heard anything.

\----

The next morning, things went even more to shit than they had already. Louis had slept through his alarm, and was now running twenty minutes behind schedule - which meant he’d missed the university shuttle bus and would now have to walk the entire way to campus and try to make it - by some miracle - in time for his nine a.m. ploy sci class. Why he even registered for a nine a.m. poly sci class was beyond him. He cursed the world as he ran around his room, pulling on a pair of blue jeans and sniffing his shirt before deciding he should probably change into something that didn’t smell of sleep and sweat. After changing, he snatched his Marvel backpack from the floor by his bedroom door before dashing out to the front of the house. To his surprise, everyone else was awake. Which was rare, considering he was the only one with a class so early and the other boys tended to sleep in for as long as they possibly could before their own alarms would blast. And then Louis was hit by the smell of bacon. His mouth watered. 

“Louis!” Liam grinned, munching on a slice of bacon, “Harry made bacon and eggs this morning.”

“And pancakes!” Niall said excitedly, eyes dancing when he glanced up from staring over Harry’s shoulder at the stove to meet Louis.

“How nice,” Louis slid his feet into his Vans without undoing the laces.

“Do you want some pancakes, Louis?” Harry asked, sliding a pancake from the skillet and onto a serving plate. 

“No, I don’t want one of your fucking pancakes,” Louis snarled. He tried to ignore the sight of Harry’s face completely crumbling, and grabbed his keys off the small table by the front door.

“Louis…” Liam’s voice sounded threatening.

“I don’t have time for fucking pancakes! I’m late,” Louis let the door slam behind him as he marched out down the sidewalk in the direction of campus. He muttered curses with each step - cursing his car that he’d saved up for all throughout his teen years for breaking down at the end of last year, cursing the fact that he’d slept through his alarm, and cursing the fact that he’d made Harry almost cry. It wasn’t that Louis had intentionally wanted to hurt him. He was just running late, was all. He would have snapped at any of the other guys. And they’d have backed down and Louis would have apologized when he got home later that night and they’d have cuddled it out and made up and all would have been forgiven. But this was Harry, and Louis was never too sure just how to act around him. It was weird, having Harry suddenly around. Even weirder was the slithering, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to get Harry’s face out of his head as he marched towards campus. He tried to ignore the way Harry’s lower lip had quivered, and how the bright happiness in his eyes had been extinguished by just a few words Louis had said. Louis didn’t want to be friends with Harry, or even acquaintances with him. But Louis was never about treating someone unkindly. He had told himself he’d be civil towards Harry, in spite of their past. But this morning hadn’t been civil. Louis had been cruel. And he sort of hated himself for it.

And even though he hadn’t it mean it cruelly, and even though he’d have snapped at either of the boys just the same, Harry didn’t know that. In Harry’s eyes, it was Louis lashing out and Louis being mean. In Harry’s eyes, it was Louis trying to hurt him. And no. Just...no. Louis would never want to hurt him. There’d been times where he’d imagined hurting him, sure. Landing a nice little slap to that pretty little cheek. The one with the dimple just for good measure. But Louis would never actually act on those thoughts. He could never hurt anyone, even if he really wanted to. Even if they had really hurt him first. But Harry didn’t know that. And Louis had no idea how to tell him otherwise. 

Louis thought back to last night, and overhearing Harry on the phone to his sister. He’d told Gemma they were all making him feel welcome. His voice had strained as he said that, as if fighting the tears that would come as soon as he’d hung up the call with her. Harry didn’t feel welcomed, and that was because of Louis. Louis was the only one to make him feel like a stranger, and Louis was the one who’d known him the best. Louis was the one who made him feel like he didn’t belong there - like he wasn’t wanted. And then this morning, after having cried just the night before, Harry had woken up early to make breakfast for everyone. Probably to try to make himself belong in any way he could. The thought made Louis’ heart feel heavy in his chest. Harry had wanted to do something nice for them, wanted to try make himself belong in their home. And Louis had spat that back in his face. And he felt sick because of it. Harry had tried. The least Louis could have done was tried too, right? Five years was a long time. Clearly something had happened to Harry in those years. Louis shouldn’t have made him feel so unwelcome, so alienated. He should have been kinder. He shouldn’t have snapped at him that morning. The boy Louis knew loved praise and flourished under it. Louis should have said thank you. Should have told Harry that it smelled delicious, but that he was running late, and asked if he could maybe save some pancakes in the fridge for him to have later. But no. He’d yelled at him. And he had made his bottom lip quiver, and the light from his eyes extinguish as if he’d just blown out a candle in one breath.

And Louis had no idea how to fix it and how to make it right. He wanted to apologize, but he had no idea where to even begin with Harry. Seeing his face was still too, too much. Having to sit him down and talk to him would break him into a million bits. But maybe Louis deserved that for how he’d spoken to him. Louis determined then that when he got home from classes for the day, he’d apologize to Harry - that he’d let him know that he really hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. He’d apologize and set things right and it’d be okay. Just as soon as Louis got home, it’d all be okay.

\----

It wasn’t okay. Louis knew he should have known better than to think that. He hadn’t even really known what he’d been expecting - to just sit down with Harry and have a heart to heart and what? Erase all the pain that Harry had put him through five years ago? The thought was laughable. All he knew for sure was that he hadn’t expected anything to go the way it did.

When he’d come home from his classes, Niall was in the kitchen making bagel pizzas and Liam and Zayn were sitting at the dining table going over their biology notes together. Harry was nowhere in sight. Louis dropped his wallet and keys on the table by the door before venturing further into the house, trying to work up in his mind what he was going to say to Harry when he found him.

“Tommo, extra cheese for yours, right?” Niall called from the kitchen.

“Always,” Louis grinned, sliding up next to Niall at the counter and dipping his hand into the bag of mozzarella cheese, “Hey, is H around?” He hoped it sounded casual as he popped a handful of shredded cheese into his mouth.

Niall swatted at his hand as he went back in for another handful, “Gross, Lou,” Niall scolded, “Did you even wash your hands?”

Louis gave him a look that read, _‘what do you think?’_

Niall sighed and shook his head, “Wash your hands. Then you can have more cheese. And no. He said this morning he probably wouldn’t be back until later tonight. He’s got the darkroom booked for the evening.”

“Oh,” Louis rinsed his hands under the tap, “So...was he too upset this morning?”

“Oh, you mean when you bit his head off for no damn good reason and acted like a complete and utter dickhead?”

Louis winced.

“Yeah. He was upset.”

“Shit,” Louis hissed, “Look, Niall...H and I have a lot of previous history. And he’s not my favorite person on the planet right now. But I really didn’t mean to like...hurt him today. I genuinely didn’t mean to snap at him like I did. I just was running late and I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that.”

“No shit,” Niall chuckled, going back to sprinkling cheese on the bagels, “Look, I know you might not like him all that much - and that’s valid, Tommo - but he is living here now and you probably should make some sort of an effort to be okay with that. Or at least not always be at his throat. It can’t be an easy situation for him either.”

“I know, I know. I want to make things right. I do. Any suggestions?”

“How about trying not to be a complete and utter dickhead,” Niall grinned.

“Oh fuck off,” Louis swatted him with the dishtowel.

“Hey Lou.”

“Yeah, Nialler?”

“You said he’s not your favorite person at the moment. That cause that position is already filled by yours truly?”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh, “But of course!” He said, pressing a kiss to Niall’s cheek.

\----

That night, Louis sat on his bed with his Philosophy notes spread out around him - trying hard to focus on the Socratic Maxim, whatever trouble Walter White was currently getting into on the television, and what he would say to Harry whenever Harry got home. It probably wasn’t the best method of studying, but it’s what Louis had to work with at the moment. He kept part of his attention peeled for the sound of the front door alerting him to the fact that Harry was finally home. Then he could abandon Socrates and Walter to go and make things right - or at least somewhat right - with Harry. 

Reading over his notes on the Socratic Maxim turned into Louis tapping his pen against his notebook to the tune of the Breaking Bad Remix Zayn had shown him on YouTube last month. Finally, Louis heard the front door open. Tossing his pen down, he hopped up from his bed, ignoring the fact that his notes had all fallen to the floor in the process. He quickly ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and heading out to the front of the house. Harry was in the kitchen when Louis came out. He had his back to Louis, peering into the fridge.

“We left you some pizza bagels,” Louis said. He probably should have cleared his throat or something first because the sound of his voice in the dark kitchen startled Harry and he jumped slightly, banging his head against the top of the fridge.

“Shit,” Harry hissed, rubbing his head.

“Sorry,” Louis winced, “Shit, Harry. I didn’t mean to like...scare you.”

“What do you want, Louis?” Harry asked impatiently, turning from the fridge, still rubbing his head.

“I just wanted to tell you we left some pizza bagels for you. And that um…” Louis scratched at the back of his neck, “...I’m sorry. I’m sorry I snapped at you this morning. I was running late and I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. It’s probably not an easy situation for you...being here and all. And I’m not making it any easier for you. So I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for being a dick.”

Every muscle in Harry’s body appeared to stiffen as he closed the fridge door and turned more to face Louis, “From the moment I walked through the door, you made it very clear you didn’t want me here, Louis. In fact, you made it very clear you wished you never had to see me again. And I know what happened all those years ago was shitty, it was. But did you ever once stop to think that maybe you didn’t have the whole story? That maybe you didn’t know what I was going through at all?”

“Maybe explain it to me then.”

“Look,” Harry sighed, “I appreciate the apology, I do. But maybe...maybe it’s best we just stay away from each other. It’s clear there’s still some wounds there, and I don’t want to do anything to make anything worse. I’ll stay out of your way, Louis. Don’t worry. I’ll try hard to be like I’m not even here. This was your home first. I’ll keep out of your way.”

And no, that hadn’t been what Louis had wanted. Maybe originally he wanted that, but not now. Harry’s face looked so crumpled, so beaten down. It took all of Louis’ strength not to reach out to gently stroke his cheek.

“Harry….no. That’s not...that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to…”

“It’s probably for the best, Louis,” Harry said, attempting to push past Louis - but Louis was quicker. He skirted in front of him, blocking him from leaving the kitchen. When Harry made a second attempt, Louis blocked him again. Harry sighed exasperatedly and ran a hand through his curls.

“Look,” Louis said decidedly, folding his arms across his chest and raising a brow, “If I had it my way, sure - I would probably never see you ever again. But you’re here now. And you live here. We share a roof and apparently friends now. So we’re going to have to do something about this and that doesn’t include just staying out of each other’s way. I was a dickhead, H. And I’m sorry for that. But this is your home now, and you need to be comfortable here. You need to feel welcome and safe in your own home. And I’m sorry if I made you not feel those things. But you deserve to be welcome and happy here, and I’m not going to let you pass until you agree to actually talk with me.”

“Still bossy as ever, I see,” Harry shook his head, but there was no heat behind his words.

“Damn right,” Louis’ lip twitched slightly, “So how about we heat up some pizza rolls and have a little chat, okay?”

“I am bigger than you, you know,” Harry quirked a brow, “And I could easily just move you...or step over you in fact.”

“Oi!”

Harry chuckled, turning back into the kitchen and retreating back to the fridge to get out the cold pizza rolls. It wasn’t until after he’d stuck the plate in the microwave and poured a soda into a glass that Harry finally said, “So...where exactly should I begin? If we’re going to have this little chat?”

“How about with the fact that you froze me out,” Louis hoisted himself up to sit on the granite counter, “How about the fact that when I moved back home, you just stopped communicating with me. You told me that you couldn’t do this anymore, after promising me that we’d make this distance thing work. And when I needed you most, you wouldn’t answer me, H. You just froze me out. I no longer existed to you. And I…” Louis had sworn to himself that he was going to keep it together. This talking thing had been his idea. There was no way he could cry. But he could feel his throat tighten and his heart pick up pace. Everything suddenly felt very bright and very hot and why had he even encouraged this talk in the first place. 

“...I _needed_ you,” Louis continued, his voice breaking on the ‘needed.’ “And you just couldn’t have cared less about me, or about what I was going through. Mark left, H. My dad left. The fighting had gotten so bad and suddenly we were all being sat down and Mark told us that he’d be moving out. And I just...I lost it. And I called you. I called you because I needed you. You were the one person I wanted - the one person I needed - to help me pick myself up and get through it all. But you weren’t there. You...you just froze me out. Why? I deserve to know why.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but the microwave began to beep. He sighed and turned to pull the plate out. Louis glanced away, trying to distract himself - trying to focus on a stain of tomato sauce on the white tile floor. He tried to will the tears to just stay in his eyes and not spill over. Fuck, he was not going to allow himself to cry right now - he just wasn’t.

“Alright,” Harry said, setting the plate on the counter and leaning against the granite counter across from where Louis was sitting, “I um...I never thought I’d have to explain this. And I fully understand no explanation will ever be able to take away whatever pain or hurt I caused you, Louis. But I just...I couldn’t. I couldn’t be with you. You remember Steve, right? My mum’s boyfriend at the time? He was okay with me being with you for that summer. But when you left, he told me that I needed to...that I needed to move past whatever little fling I had needed to get out of my system. He told me that everyone experiments, and that he was fine with that, but now it was time I put whatever fling I was having aside and man up. His words. Not mine. Never mine. And I was sixteen, Lou. And he made my mum happier than I’d seen her in a long time. And he wasn’t ever mean to Gemma or me. Not until then anyway. And I see that now. At the time, it confused me, Louis. He told me you were just a fling...an experiment. And that I needed to grow up and man up. He said I was probably a fling to you too. He told me that if I kept anything going with you...I would be hurting my mum and my sister. He told me what would be best would be for me to just delete your number and move on with my life. I was sixteen, Louis. And he was...he was our first real shot at a family that we’d had in a long time. I didn’t want to ruin that. I couldn’t ruin that for my mum. I was scared and I listened to him. And I shouldn’t have. I see that now. And in time, he became more and more controlling. And eventually, she did break up with him. And she’s with a great man now - Robin - who loves me and accepts me for who I am. And maybe I should have done more at the time. Maybe I should have fought harder against Steve for you. But I was...I was…”

“Fifteen,” Louis said, voice flat and a little harsher than he intended. Harry’s words were like a punch to his stomach. He had no idea how to even begin to process them. All this time he had thought Harry had abandoned him by choice. And maybe if Louis had still been seventeen, he’d still think those things now. But hearing Harry’s story - hearing how he was only just a child, trying to do everything he could to keep his family together and keep his mother happy - there wasn’t much blame Louis could place on him. The hurt was still there - the betrayal and the anger too. But it wasn’t fair of him to place all that on the sixteen year old kid with wide Bambi eyes and cherry-red lips - the sixteen year old kid who bit the skin around his thumbnail when nervous or scared - the sixteen year old kid who would do anything he could to just keep his life as glued together as best as he possibly could. Louis knew what it was like to be that sixteen year old kid. He’d been that sixteen year old kid once too. Now that he knew he couldn’t place his blame on Harry, all the anger and hurt he’d been carrying for him deflated into the air, hanging heavily between them.

“Louis...I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I just...I tried to tell myself it was for the best. I tried to tell myself that what we had was very short in the scheme of things and that we’d both be fine and move on in time. I never imagined meeting you again, or living with you.”

“And yet here you are,” Louis’ hands tightened on the edge of the counter top.

“Yet here I am.”

“I don’t know what to do with you,” Louis said honestly. It was the only thing he really could say.

“I don’t know what to do with you either,” Harry admitted, biting at his thumb.

“We’ll have to figure it out eventually,” Louis kicked Harry’s thigh gently.

“Eventually,” Harry nodded, “But for tonight, I’ve had a very long day and I think I’m going to eat these in my room and crash for the night. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Louis felt Harry’s words like a second punch to the gut when he’d yet to recover from the first, “Right,” he nodded, “I should um...I should get some sleep too. Early classes and all that.”

Harry smiled tightly before grabbing his plate and his drink and brushing past Louis to head to his bedroom. Louis waited until he heard Harry’s door click shut before letting his shoulders sink as he slumped in on himself. He hugged his arms around his sides and blinked up at the kitchen ceiling, wondering when the fuck his life became so damn complicated. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Harry was supposed to be out of his life for good - not returning, and certainly not returning with declarations of how leaving things the way he had hadn’t truly been his own choice. And certainly not returning, proclaiming said declarations, and then just heading off to bed. Louis felt as though the air had been punched out of his lungs. How could Harry just drop something like that on him and just go to bed? Louis wanted to hop from the counter, run to his bedroom door, and pound on the door demanding that Harry open up and actually deal with this. Maybe Louis shouldn’t have pushed? Maybe they should have just existed staying out of the way from one another. That wouldn’t have been so terribly bad, would it? Louis wasn’t sure what was worse - facing the truth, or living in not-so-blissful ignorance?

He had wanted to talk things out with Harry to make things somewhat okay between the two of them. He had wanted to apologize and make things no longer so awkward between them for the sake of themselves and their friends. So why did it feel like now everything was going to only be a hundred times worse than they were at the start?

\----

To say things were better after that midnight conversation in the kitchen wouldn’t exactly be true. Things were mildly better, to some regards. They could all be together in the living room for movie nights without Louis jumping at Harry’s throat, and they could eat dinner together at the dining table some nights - the five of them joking and laughing and asking about each other’s days. Harry fit seamlessly in with the group. He adored Niall and doted on him affectionately. Meanwhile, Liam did the same to him. To Liam, Harry became “Sunshine” and a puppy to pet at and snuggle with on the couch. Zayn was more cautious of Harry though, because of his history with Louis and Zayn being the one to sort of have helped to pick up the pieces Harry had left shattered all those years ago. But even still, though he was wary of him, the two laughed and joked with ease. And Louis had to admit, it was nice to see Harry fit in so well with everyone. The weeks passed, and Harry was no longer timid of them like he’d been when he’d first moved in. Instead, he was all smiles - bright green eyes and dimples and all. But as easily as Harry fit with Louis’ friends, Louis still wasn’t sure where Harry fit with him. 

There was still a huge part of Louis - an unignorable part of Louis - whose heart raced whenever Harry was near. Whose skin prickled with goosebumps when Harry stood a little too closely. Whose thoughts always drifted to Harry in those late-night hours between dreams and reality. It was in those times Louis caught himself imagining - imagining going to Harry’s door, barging inside, and confessing everything to him: all his thoughts, feelings, everything. He imagined himself pressing against Harry - yelling at him for leaving him and shouting at him for hurting him in the way he had. He also imagined himself kissing him, being too fed up with him to do anything else beyond what his natural instincts told him to do. And his natural instincts told him to kiss Harry. They also told him to put his arm around him on the couch or to reach up and play with his curls. They told him to poke at his dimple to make him smile, and to tease him until he blushed. Luckily for Louis, he had gotten quite good at ignoring his natural instincts. But it was getting harder and harder with each passing day. The more he was around Harry, the more he felt himself gravitate towards him.

For years, Louis had imagined what it’d be like to have Harry in his life again. He always figured he’d punch him in the pretty face for what he’d done to him, but he also always figured it’d be sort of a miracle to get some kind of second chance with him. The summer of being seventeen, Harry had felt like such a natural part of Louis and Louis had been unable to even comprehend a life without Harry by his side. And then he’d been forced to live it. For years, really. And now here Harry was - living in his home, eating his food, sitting beside him on the couch, snorting out that loud manic cackle whenever he found something particularly funny. And Louis had accepted for so long that he’d never hear that laugh again, that he’d never see that smile or those dimples or pretty green eyes. At the beginning, he’d wished for just one more bit of time with Harry just to take everything in so he could imprint it all in his memory. He had longed to hear Harry laugh or to see him smile just one more time - please, just once more. Once more had never come, and Louis had eventually stopped hoping. There had still been times though - secret little times - when he’d catch himself smiling as an image of Harry giggling with those dimples cratering into his cheeks popped randomly into his mind. And now Harry was here, and everything Louis had wished for for the past five years was coming back to him. And he had no idea what to do with any of it.

They were currently all set up in the living room watching The Usual Suspects. It was Friday night, and Friday night movies had sort of become a thing in their little household. They’d go all out after days of research papers, lectures, and exams to throw away too much of their money on several large pizzas, cheap beers, and crisps. Louis never would admit it, not even if you paid him (...well, it’d depend on the offer, really) that these Friday nights were the highlight of his weeks. He looked forward to coming home from classes, toeing off his Vans, and slipping into sweats to curl up on the couch with his boys all week. Tonight was not unlike any of the previous Friday nights. Boxes with stray slices of pizza left behind lay scattered on the coffee table among too many empty beer bottles. Zayn was leaning back in the black leather recliner, nursing a bottle of beer. Liam was on one end of the sofa, Louis in the middle, and Harry on the other side of him. Niall sat happily on the floor, nibbling on what was in all honesty probably his seventh or eighth slice of pizza.

Louis tried to focus on the movie. He really did. It was one of his favorites, and Kevin Spacey was a genius. But the thing was, Harry was right there. Louis could reach over and touch him. If he didn’t know better and had no limits. And Liam says he doesn’t have self control. But Harry was right there, and Louis’ arm was right there. And the hairs on his forearm stood on end as Harry shifted slightly against the cushions.

And then because maybe Liam was right about Louis’ lack of self control, Louis reached a hand up and poked his index finger to the place where Harry’s dimple hid.

“You following along, Curly?” Louis asked.

Harry’s dimple cratered as he couldn’t help but smile. In a hushed voice, his whispered back, “I have seen this before, you know.”

Louis felt a smug smirk play at the corner of his lips. He didn’t really know what else to say, so he poked the dimple one last time - making Harry smile wider - before bringing his hand back down and focusing his attention back to the movie on screen. After that conversation in the kitchen a few weeks ago, they never really discussed what had been said between them. There’d been no discussion on figuring out where they stood with each other, and it all felt rather open-ended and just weird to Louis. He wanted to know where he stood with Harry - and where Harry stood with him as well. If he had no idea, maybe Harry didn’t either. Instead of asking, Louis just went about his life as usual to the best he could. And Harry joined in and the five of them just made it all work somehow. Things were still tense between them though. They never really addressed each other unless in group conversations. They never talked privately together. And whenever Louis was home alone with Harry, he found himself definitely not hiding in his bedroom, thank you very much. But there were still occasions when the five of them were all together when Louis would crack a joke and immediately check for Harry’s reaction, feeling a surge of pride sweep through him as a wide smile would break out across Harry’s face or he’d honk out one of his obnoxious cackling hyena laughs. 

But recently, making Harry smile was like an addiction to Louis. Whenever he’d say something snarky or mildly funny, he’d always turn to gauge Harry’s reaction. And Harry would always be smiling or laughing just as he used to. Louis had craved making Harry laugh back when they had shared their summer. It was one of his favorite pastimes, really. And now, the cravings had returned. He felt like an addict now, wanting his next fix. It was always an accomplishment to him to make Harry smile and to make Harry laugh. And perhaps Louis was a tad bit mental, because the next thing he knew, he was reaching out a hand and pinching a chocolate curl between to fingers and giving it a gentle little tug. Harry turned to him, a confused smile on his face.

“What?” He asked, not sounding too bothered by Louis’ interruption or lack of concern for personal space.

“Nothing,” Louis turned back to the movie, “Just being slowly seduced by your curls, Styles.”

Harry giggled, “You’re ridiculous. And you’re a distraction. Watch the movie, Lou.”

And Lou? Louis had to turn his head to the side, pressing his forehead against Liam’s shoulder, in an attempt to hide the smile that broke out across his face. Harry hadn’t called him Lou since the summer they were teenagers. And Louis felt mushy and ridiculous but for some reason, that nickname sounded an awful lot like something akin to hope. Hope for what, he wasn’t precisely sure. 

“What are you doing?” Liam asked, pulling his shoulder away from where Louis had nuzzled into it.

“Can’t a guy want a cuddle, Leemo?” Louis asked, doing his best to sound affronted. It wasn’t a difficult task for him.

Liam just smiled, good ol’ bean that he was, and said, “Always,” before lifting up an arm to allow Louis to slot against his side. Louis did so happily, never one to turn down a cuddle. Liam’s arm wrapped around his frame, and he continued to watch the movie with his focus back on the screen as opposed to the pretty boy with the chocolate curls sitting on the other side of him. 

“Wait a second now,” Harry said, deep, slow voice interrupting, “What about me?”

“What about you, Curly?” Louis asked, nuzzling closer to Liam.

“What if I wanted a cuddle?” 

And the hairs on the back of Louis’ neck stood on end. Harry had fit in seamlessly with their little group - always snuggling up with Niall, and plopping himself into Liam’s lap. They were a cuddly bunch, after all. If Harry was ever going to fit in, he was going to need to become a cuddle bug too. Which, Louis knew from prior experience, he was. But never once had he addressed Louis in regards to a cuddle. And Louis, once again, found himself not knowing what to do with that.

“I’m sorry, Harold,” Louis smirked, “But I’ve claimed Liam. But if you’re truly that desperate, you can get my feet,” Louis’ smirk grew into a grin as he stretched out, putting his feeting in Harry’s lap.

“That’s not fair,” Harry’s bottom lip jutted out into his signature pout, “Liam gets the half of you that doesn’t stink!”

“My feet do not stink!” Louis reached his leg up, pretting his foot right under Harry’s nose, “Smell.”

“God, you’re disgusting,” Harry jerked away from Louis’ foot before grabbing his ankle in his hand and bringing his foot back down to his lap.

“Oi, hush up you two,” Niall called from his spot on the floor, “You’re interrupting the movie.”

“Yeah, Harold. Hush up, you’re interrupting the movie,” Louis grinned.

In response, Harry pinched Louis’ big toe between his fingers, making him giggle and kick at his thigh. After a dirty look from Niall - and another one from Zayn which really did the trick - they both quieted down. Louis nuzzled back against Liam, his feet still perched in Harry’s lap. And Harry rested a hand over Louis’ left ankle, rubbing the sensitive skin there gently with the pad of his thumb. And maybe Harry didn’t fit in exactly seamlessly with him - maybe there were seams and jagged edges here and there. But right now, in this moment, everything felt something close to perfect.

\----

To say Louis was buzzing after the movie would be an understatement. It was late now, and the rest of the boys were yawning and voicing thoughts of turning in for the night. But Louis’ skin felt electric. He knew there was no way he’d be able to fall asleep anytime soon. So when Liam stood from the couch, stretched, and reached to clear the table, Louis grabbed his arm.

“I’ll get it,” he said.

“You? Clean?” Liam snorted.

“I clean,” Louis’ brows pulled together, “I do! Just not often, but it’s been known to happen. Besides, you’re tired, and I’m not. I’ll take care of all this. You go on to bed, Lime.”

Liam’s face softened in the way it tended to do around Louis, “Alright then,” he nodded, “Sure. Sounds good. I’m just beat, I’m afraid. Thanks, Lou.”

“Don’t mention it,” Louis pushed himself up from the couch and began to shut the lids to the pizza boxes, “Besides, I’m wide awake anyway.”

“I can help,” the voice from the other side of the couch spoke up. Louis froze in the middle of stacking one pizza box on top of the other. He and Harry hadn’t spent anytime truly alone since he’d moved in. The thought of being alone with Harry made Louis’ skin buzz. He swallowed, stacking the pizza boxes in his hand.

“Sure,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t sound too strained, “It’ll be nice to have some company.”

“And you can ensure that Louis doesn’t end up making even more of a mess than there was to start,” Liam grinned, earning himself a smack to the head with one of the pizza boxes.

“Behave yourselves,” Niall grinned, smacking Louis on the back before skittering off to his bedroom.

“Jesus,” Louis sighed once they had all retired to their own rooms, “I promise you, I do do things around here. Sometimes. I’m not as much a mess as they say.”

Harry laughed, standing from the couch and beginning to collect the empty beer bottles in his massive hands. Louis tried to ignore the fact that Harry held four bottles in each hand with ease, “I know. You did do Liam’s laundry for him last week.”

“He had a big research paper for his literature class,” Louis shrugged casually, grabbing a grubby napkin that probably belonged to Niall.

“It was nice of you.”

“Yeah well...don’t let it get around. I have a reputation to keep.”

Harry just smiled and they continued to tidy up in a comfortable silence. Louis carried the pizza boxes to the kitchen to dump into the garbage - Harry wasn’t far behind with the empty bottles in his hands.

“So, you seem to be settling in alright, aren’t you?” Louis asked, suddenly a little ashamed that it was the first time asking that.

“Yeah,” Harry tossed the bottles into the garbage that Louis held open with his foot on the small pedal, “It’s fun, having roommates. Well...roommates like you guys anyway. The last person I lived with wasn’t so...he just wasn’t very nice. Not as fun as all you.”

Louis frowned, turning on the sink, “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said genuinely as he began to rinse off some plates, “Really. Is that why….is that why you were so desperate for a new place to live?”

Harry nodded, slotting himself next to Louis with a dishtowel poised in his hands. Louis finished rinsing off a plate, handing it to Harry who proceeded to dry it with his dishtowel. “He was um...he was my ex.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Louis snuck a glance at Harry from the corner of his eye. His brows were furrowed in thought and his bottom lip was jutting out just slightly. Louis could see the tension in his shoulders as he dried the plate, pretending to be completely engrossed in drying one particular spot.

“He wasn’t very kind to you, was he?” Louis asked cautiously.

“No, no he wasn’t. Wasn’t very kind to anyone really, I reckon.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Louis handed over another plate, but didn’t turn back to the sink this time. He stood facing Harry, who took the plate but didn’t take his eyes from Louis. “Really, H. That’s not...I’m just sorry, okay?”

“I know,” Harry nodded, “And you don’t have anything to really be sorry for, Louis. It’s in the past now, and I’m moving beyond it. I don’t really um...I don’t really want to talk about him. Maybe someday, but right now I just...I can’t.”

“I get it,” Louis was about to turn back to the sink when those damn natural instincts kicked in. Instead of turning back to the dishes in the sink, he reached up to twirl a curl around his index finger, “But you’re alright, right H? Or at least, you will be?”

A soft smile passed over Harry’s face, “Yeah. Yeah I am,” the smile grew slightly, “I mean, I’m out of that situation now...out of that house. And I’m here with some pretty good roommates who I like a lot. And I think...I think they like me too.”

Louis gave the ringlet a small tug before dropping his hand and turning back to the sink, a playful smirk on his lips, “Yeah, we like you alright.”

Harry bowed his head, but not before Louis caught the soft blush to his cheeks and the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “That’s good then.”

“A bit of a snorer, but what can ya do,” Louis’ smirk grew a bit more devilish.

“I do not snore!” Harry glanced up from the plate in his hands, a happy sparkle to his eyes.

“Well you wouldn’t know if you did or didn’t, would you?” Louis cocked his head slightly to the side, a challenge, “And for the record, mate, you’re a proper freight train. I’ve been riding Liam’s arse to have your bedroom soundproofed for that very reason.”

“Oi!” Harry’s brows shot up, “Are you sure you want to be insulting me right now, Tomlinson?”

“What do you plan to do about it then, Styles?” Louis set his jaw firmly, knowing that his eyes were twinkling with mirth in spite of his tough front.

“This,” Harry smirked, snapping the dishtowel against Louis’ hip. If Louis squealed, well...that was between him and Harry wasn’t it?

“You are so dead, Styles,” Louis’ eyes narrowed.

“And what are you going to do about it then?” Harry grinned, his eyes were lit up like sparklers.

“You know what,” Louis turned back to the sink, “I don’t think I’m going to do anything, really. One of us has to be the mature adult here, Harold. And if you’re not going to be that person, I will have to take on the responsibility. Now then, turn around and get back to drying. Before your hurt yourself - or someone else - with that towel.”

Harry pouted ever-so-slightly. He begrudgingly turned back to finish drying one of the bowels Louis had just handed over to him. It was evident he hadn’t wanted Louis to “throw in the towel” - to speak metaphorically of course - so easily or quickly. He’d wanted a bit of a challenge, a bit of play. Well, if he thought Louis was truly just throwing in the towel, he was going to be gravely mistaken. Because if there was one thing Louis Tomlinson never backed down from, it was a challenge.

Just as Harry carefully set the bowel in the rack to finish drying, Louis yanked the hose nozzle from the side of the sink, pointing it right at Harry’s crotch and pulling on the trigger. Instantaneously, Harry jumped, letting out a squeal before gritting out a, “You bastard!” that was just about as threatening as a bunny.

“You asked for it,” Louis shrugged happily, putting the hose nozzle back, “Did you honestly fall for that line about me being the mature adult between us, Harold? Because if so, then you just frankly deserved that, love.”

“ ‘love’ is it?” Harry asked noncommittally, turning back to the dish rack.

“I call all my friends ‘love.’ Don’t go getting some type of complex here, Harold.”

“So ‘friends’ is it?” Harry asked in the same noncommittal voice. And it took Louis back by surprise because they had never actually had that conversation. He hadn’t really known what he’d label Harry as. Friend felt like too much, but at the same time, not nearly enough. But if Harry would be okay with ‘friends,’ then Louis would be okay with ‘friends’ too. 

“Friends,” Louis affirmed. It felt good to say. Good to solidify where they stood with one another. But at the same time, it still felt wrong, felt off - like everything else about them. Like the way Louis knew everything about Harry, and at the same time, nothing about him. Nothing fit. Not Harry into Louis’ life, and not Louis in his. And the word “friends” would never encompass all that they were to each other - all that they weren’t. Louis shuffled uncomfortably at the sink, the air between them suddenly feeling much too thick and much too hot. 

“Well that’s good then,” Harry nodded once, setting the last bowl in the drying rack before wiping his hands on the towel and hanging it neatly over the handle of one of the drawers. Louis could tell he wasn’t the only one who felt the sudden change in tension. What was once light and fun and airy was tight and hot and humid. Louis wanted to escape, wanted to crawl into bed under his covers. Why couldn’t things just be fine? He wasn’t selfish enough to ask for perfect. But fine would do. Anything but awkward. Anything but this.

“It’s getting late. Everything looks decent. Liam should be happy.”

“He knows how much you help out in your own ways,” Harry said, adjusting the drying rack slightly, more for just something to do with his hands, Louis figured. “He knows you tend to do things without much of an announcement. Like how the living room was miraculously vacuumed last week. No one confessed to it, but Liam told me he figured it was probably you. Says you have a tendency to do things like that - help when no one expects it.”

Louis shrugged, reaching out to touch the corner of the dish towel to dry his hands, “I guess.”

“You’re right though,” Harry pushed his curls back off his face with the flat of his hand, “it is getting late. Do you um...do you want the shower first?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Louis said. He’d normally decline, offering it to Harry first. But tonight, he just wanted to press his forehead against the cool tile, letting the scalding water beat down on his bare back. 

“Of course not,” Harry grinned lazily, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Lou. Have a good night.”

Louis felt the corner of his lip turn up just a tad as he watched Harry head out of the kitchen. To his back, Louis said, “Goodnight, Haz,” watching every muscle in Harry’s back stiffen at the familiar nickname from their youth.

“G’night, Lou.”

Later, in the shower with his head pressed against the cold tile wall, Louis imagined himself kissing the column of Harry’s throat and turned the water a touch hotter.

\----

“So...where is it you and Harry actually stand with each other?” Zayn asked the following week, taking Louis completely off-guard. They were the only two at home, and Louis was sitting at the dining room table trying to actually focus on his Chemistry notes for once. He’d even moved from his usual study spot - his bed - to the dining room table in hopes he’d be able to focus better without the distractions of his laptop, television, and whatever else he could probably find that he could deem more important than the massive Chemistry test he had coming up in three days. 

“I really can’t talk about this right now, Zayn,” Louis said, hoping his voice didn’t come across as bratty as it sounded in his head, “This is important,” he tapped his pen against the page his textbook was currently flipped to, “Big exam coming up. Have to cram.”

“You’ve been cramming for the last two hours, Lou. Maybe a bit of a break would do you good? Maybe sure that head of yours doesn’t short-circuit or something.”

A break did sound lovely. All the words in his textbook were starting to blur together like static on the television when it wasn’t working properly. Louis sighed, pushing back slightly in his seat. He craved a break. He’d kill for a break. But what he did not want, however, was to spend his break talking to Zayn about Harry Styles. Nope. Louis would much rather just go fix a sandwich. A sandwich sounded nice. A sandwich with hot peppers. Yum. Louis’ mouth watered.

“So?” Zayn snapped his fingers in front of Louis’ face, “Let’s take a break.”

“We are not taking a break,” Louis narrowed his eyes pointedly, “I am taking a break. You are doing whatever it is you were doing before you came over here to bother me. Or if that doesn’t appeal, you could always make me a sandwich. Ham and cheese. Hot peppers. Light on the mayo please.”

“How about I smack you instead?”

“On second thought, no sandwich.”

“Good lad. So...the Harry situation.”

“There is no Harry Situation, Zayn,” Louis scrubbed his hands down his face, “Really. There’s no issue or situation or whatever you’ve imagined up in that creative brain of yours. We’re fine. It’s fine. I’m adjusting to him. He’s adjusting to me. We get on well. It’s...it’s okay. But there is no situation. Everything is peaches and cream.”

“If you wanted me to buy that line, you probably shouldn’t have ended it on ‘everything is peaches and cream.’ Now, you are being nicer than at the start. And you two do get along. There’s no fighting. But that’s because there isn’t really much of anything. There’s a distance between you two. I just want to make sure you’re okay, Louis. That’s all.”

“I’m fine,” Louis put his pen in his book to mark his place before shutting it, “Honest.”

“But not really though...are you?” Zayn sat down at the seat beside Louis and Louis rolled his eyes, really wishing he hadn’t picked someone so intuitive as his best friend.

“I’m fine,” Louis insisted, “He’s here, there’s nothing I can do to make him like not be. Besides, we had a little talk last week and said we’re friends. It’s fine. We’re fine.”

“Your voice isn’t going to get all weird like Ross Geller’s...is it?”

“No,” Louis narrowed his eyes again, “It’s not. Because unlike Ross, I am actually fine.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I am. But I’ll bite. It is weird. It’s still very weird to me. I haven’t seen him for years and suddenly I’m seeing him every single day and sharing a house with him and friends with him and it is weird, okay? But that doesn’t mean that I’m having some sort of issue, Zayn. Really.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

“ _Jesus,_ ” Louis choked on nothing, “What the hell? Where did that come from?”

“Just a question, Lou.”

“Right,” Louis composed himself after his little coughing fit, glaring daggers at Zayn, “Well, to answer that ‘just a question’ no. No I don’t have feelings for him.”

“You sure?”

“ _Jesus Christ!_ ” Louis hissed, feeling his face grow suddenly very hot as the dining room suddenly felt very small, “Zayn, would you just drop it? What happened between us was years ago. We were kids. What the fuck did we even know about anything back then? I do not have feelings for him.”

“Okay,” Zayn nodded, visibly backing down a bit, “Sorry for pushing, Lou. I just...I want to make sure you’re okay. And if you aren’t, I want you to know that you can talk to me about it. Because if you do have feelings, or if he does make you uncomfortable, you should feel able to share those thoughts with someone. You know I wouldn’t like judge you or anything, right?”

“I know, Zayn. I do,” Louis softened, “And I appreciate it. I do. I know you just care. But I’m really fine. I think where the only small resemblance of an issue lies is in the fact that there is that separation you mentioned. You all get on with him so well. And that’s really awesome. It is. I’m happy he has you lads. Because you lot are a rare thing and if he can be as lucky as I am to have that, well good on him. But there is a distance between us. I don’t really know where he fits in my life, Zayn. Like, with Liam...he can sit in his lap and Liam can play with his hair. And with Niall...well, he and Niall share a bed more often than not. And they’re always teasing each other and it’s really rather cute really. Like a couple of puppies, those two. And even you. You’ve taken him. You always have a soft spot for everyone, even if you try to hide it. I see the way you smile at him and ruffle his hair. And he just...he blossoms from it. But with me...I just don’t know what to do with him. We’re a cuddly, touchy lot. And we’re a little family here. But he just doesn’t feel like family to me. I can’t...I can’t bring myself to be that way with him. I don’t know what to do with him, Zayn. I just...it’s like he just doesn’t fit. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you want him to fit?”

“Of course I do. I don’t want anything to be weird or awkward. But it’s just...it’s still so weird to me. I don’t know what to do with him. If I cuddle him...I might not...I…” Louis tried to focus his eyes on anything but Zayn as he said, “I might not let go this time.”

“Louis…” Zayn’s voice was soft, careful, “...I’ll ask again. Do you still have feelings for him?”

“It just...it doesn’t make sense. I haven’t seen him in years. He...he broke my heart to shreds, Zayn. Shreds. And now...now I just...I feel like I’m on fire whenever I’m around him. My whole body feels like it’s gone up in this blaze. And it’s all his fault. He makes me feel electric all over. And I just...I…” Louis had no idea what else to say. Saying even what he just did out loud made him feel overwhelmed with anxiety and regret. He buried his face in his hands and prayed he could somehow take back the last thirty seconds of his life.

“Shit,” Louis muttered into his palms.

“Oh...babe,” Zayn’s hand was instantly on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, “I’m so sorry. I am so sorry.”

“Nothing feels right with him, Zayn. Being friends isn’t enough. Being together would be too much. Not to mention impossible. And being anything less just...I don’t know. Everything is so complicated. I used to pray for one more chance with him, just once more to hear his laugh and see him smile and to feel his hand against mine. And now here that chance is...and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know what to do with him.”

“In a perfect world,” Zayn said, rubbing Louis’ back with his knuckles, “what would you want?”

“I don’t know, really. I’d be too afraid to ask. But here, now...I just...I want to be okay with him. I want to be like you all are with him. I want him to fit with me like he fits with the rest of you. But there is that distance there. Like we both are holding back and just not letting it happen. But if it happens...who knows what sort of mess that could cause. I just don’t know what I want. I do know I just don’t want to get hurt again. And I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared, Zayn.”

“I know, bab. I know. Listen to me...what if I told you I might have a solution? Not for the bigger problem, but for the smaller problem. What if I told you I could fix things on a smaller scale for you? Or at least help you fix them yourself. What would you say to that, bab?”

“I’d say...what do you have in mind?”

“You’re my partner in crime, right?” Zayn asked, squeezing Louis’ shoulder. Louis nodded and Zayn continued, “Well then, I wouldn’t steer you wrong, would I? Do you remember how we broke Liam in? Liam had a stick lodged up his arse before we got to him. And do you remember what we did? We teased him and pranked him until he had no choice really but to join in and react to us. And once he did, the ice was like broken. And we like...bonded. And now he still has a stick up his arse, but not quite as badly as he did at the start of living together. I think you need that with Harry. There’s this tension there, these walls you’ve both built up. And what better way to knock those walls down than a good old fashioned prank war.”

“Zayn Malik, I like the way you think,” Louis nodded, impressed. It had been far too long since they’d engaged in a good prank war. Louis was practically itching to use to the itching powder he had stored in his sock drawer. Which, on second thought, he really probably should find a better storage spot for that particular object of torment.

“You and me versus Liam, Niall, and Harry. I’ll focus on Liam and Niall. You mostly just plan your attacks against Harry. By the end of it all, those walls should be well on their way to being Jerico and you and Harry will be brothers just like the rest of us. What do you say, Louis?”

Louis bit his lower lip. They were in their second to last years of university. This was supposed to be the time in their lives to buckle down and get serious. He had goofed off too much already as it was. But then again, Zayn was right. Zayn was always right. It’d be good to have a prank war between the five of them. It’d initiate Harry and make them bond. By the end of it, Louis would have another brother. He’d rather have Harry in his life as a brother than nothing. Louis wasn’t sure he could take nothing again. Brother would have to do. 

He leaned in, wrapping an arm around Zayn’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze, “They’re going down,” he grinned wickedly.

\----

The first prank was child’s play, really. Zayn and Louis had the house to themselves as Liam was off at the library and Niall had gone off to play ultimate frisbee with some friends from class. They had the afternoon to enact their plan. The first prank would be nothing beyond an announcement prank - a prank to let the others know that this was war. So together, they emptied Liam, Niall, and Harry’s socks and underwear drawers into a large pile in the living room, and began to tie all the garments together in knots. Once their job was complete, all the other boys’ socks and underwear were in a massive knotted pile. It’d take hours to get out and sort through. Louis giggled, clapping Zayn on the back before they skittled off to their bedrooms to wait for the other boys to come home. 

Louis perched on his bed, flinging the covers over his legs, as he pretended to be engrossed in his studying. This was genius really. Zayn was a genius. Louis really had picked a good one when he’d chosen Zayn. It was a brilliant plan, and everything was finally going to work out in Louis’ favor. 

\----

Nothing ever worked out in Louis’ favor.

Why he had even listened to Zayn was beyond him, really. 

It had been a good idea at the start, sure. Niall, Liam, and Harry had come home to the pile of clothing on the floor and Zayn and Louis had announced that this was a prank war. And Liam had threatened to beat both their asses, and Niall had laughed, but then good, sweet Harry had actually quietly knelt on the floor and began undoing the knots. Without a single word. And that had been weird, right? Why wasn’t he reacting like Liam and Niall? It had confused Louis, and he had made his mission then to entice a reaction from Harry if it was the last thing he did. It just wasn’t normal, right? Harry should be doing something. Instead, he was crouched on the floor with a furrowed brow, not even looking Louis’ way. Louis decided he just needed to do something a bit bigger than to get Harry’s attention. He decided to single out Harry that night because, well, to be honest, Louis was a bit scared. He was never too sure if Liam was just kidding when he’d threaten to whoop their bums and frankly, Louis didn’t want to test it any further that night. 

So he focused in on Harry. And maybe he should have seen the signs from the first prank that Harry was so not into this. Maybe he should have just backed off and actually acted his age. But no. Louis was bound and determined to get a rise out of Harry one way or another. 

And boy, had he gotten a rise out of Harry.

The prank in itself wasn’t so bad. Not really. He’d pulled it on all the other guys at various points in the time that he’d been their roommates, so Louis really hadn’t thought it’d be so bad for Harry. Louis really hadn’t thought much of anything really.

And that night, before Harry had gone to take his shower, Louis had snuck into the bathroom with a bottle of temporary hair dye hidden in the pocket of his hoodie. It was just temporary. It’d wash completely out within three shampoos. It wouldn’t hurt him, Louis told himself as he filled Harry’s shampoo bottle with the bright green goo. It wouldn’t hurt him, Louis told himself as he smirked and replaced the cap and set the bottle back inside the shower.

It wouldn’t hurt him, Louis thought.

But Louis hadn’t thought. Not really. Not at all.

Because now there was a very wet, very upset-looking Harry Styles standing in the middle of his bedroom, dripping water onto the carpet. His face was red and splotchy and his eyes were pink and glassy and Jesus...Louis hadn’t expected it to upset him so. It was just a prank. A harmless little prank. So why did Harry look as if Louis had just kicked his puppy or something? 

Louis sat up against the headboard, eyes scanning over Harry trying to process the sight before him.

“Did you do this?” Harry asked. His voice was like gravel as he pointed a finger to a dripping wet green curl, “Did you do this, Louis?” 

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew instantly he had fucked up big time. He just didn’t know how. All the other guys had survived the prank just fine in the past. Niall had even joked hot pink would be his new look as opposed to bleach blonde. Zayn had sported his blue with pride. And Liam had pinched Louis’ nipple and called him and dick but was all smiles the very next morning because some girl in his Literature class had told him the purple was very fitting. 

“Um...yeah,” Louis blinked, wondering why he felt as though Harry had just punched him in the stomach, “It was uh...it was part of the prank war, see. And um...it’s not permanent, H. It’ll all wash out within three washes.”

“I can’t believe you’d do this,” Harry’s voice broke and okay...no. Just no. Louis felt every nerve of his body jolt as he sprang out of bed to go to Harry.

“Haz, it’s a prank,” Louis said, “It’s nothing bad. It’s just fun. It’s all in good fun. It’s going to all wash out quickly and all the other boys have survived it.”

“I don’t care if all the other boys have survived it,” Harry’s voice was clipped and sharp, “Louis...I don’t understand. What did I do to you? Is this...is this some sort of payback for ending things the way I did all those years ago? Because if so...I said I was sorry for that!”

“No, no! This has...this has nothing to do with any of that. It’s a prank war, H. C’mon. Zayn and me vs. you and Liam and Niall. It’s fun, Haz. Really. It’s nothing personal at all, H.”

“Then why am I the only one with green hair?”

“Because…” Louis took a sharp breath, “Because I thought it’d be funny, okay. Clearly I was wrong. That or….” and the thing was, Louis knew this was totally not the right thing to say given the current situation. He knew it, and in spite of the fact, said it anyway. “...you just don’t have a sense of humor.”

“I don’t have a sense of humor,” Harry repeated. He tried to say it on a laugh, but his voice broke half way and Louis felt as though he’d been punched over and over again in the stomach. His room was suddenly shrinking in around him and he wanted to run anywhere but here right now. “I don’t have a sense of humor. I can’t fucking believe you, Louis. I’m done. I am just done. I thought we could maybe be friends. I thought we could make this roommate situation thing work. I thought we were okay with each other. I tried to stay out of your way. I tried not to annoy you. I tried to just...to keep away from you. And you pull something like this? And the thing is...you have no idea what you’ve just done, do you? You have no clue because you’re selfish, Louis. You’re so goddamn selfish.”

“Harry…”

“You hold me accountable for something I had no real choice in when I was fifteen. You treat me as if I don’t belong here, as if you’d do anything to chase me out. You’ve seen me as an intrusion from the time I first stepped foot into this house. And I tried, Louis. I tried. But I’m done trying. I’m done with you.”

“What...what are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Louis. I just can’t. I don’t have anywhere else to go, so I’m stuck here. But I don’t have to try anymore. I can live here and pretend you don’t exist in my life. I can live here and keep to myself and stay out of your way. I thought we could be friends, Louis. I thought maybe we could put what happened behind us and move forward. But you can’t. You keep blaming me. You keep treating me as if I had a choice. As if it was my choice to delete one of the best things from my life. As if Steve hadn’t called me a disgrace and a disappointment to my mother. As if he hadn’t told me when I was fifteen, Louis - fifteen - that I was a heartbreak and a mistake to my mum and that my only option was to try to live by his rules, live by his guidelines. You hold me accountable as if it was my choice. It was never my choice. I would never...I would never have chosen those things. And here we are, all these years later, forced together by fate or God or maybe satan himself - at this point, I don’t fucking know. And you still are blaming me. And I get it. You and Zayn wanted a prank war. Fine. That might have been fun. That might have actually been good for us to relax and just play. But you had to push it too far. You had to take things over the edge, Louis. Because you have no boundaries. You don’t know when to quit. Or when to think. You have no idea when to just pause and think about the other person you’re affecting…”

“It’s just hair dye,” Louis murmured, “Temporary hair dye…”

“Yeah. And I just have a meeting in the morning with the head of the photography department about having my photos featured in the showcase at the end of the month. If he doesn’t think I have what it takes...if he doesn’t think I’m serious enough...this was huge for me, Louis! And I’ve mentioned this meeting a hundred times to all of you. I know I have! And Mr. Grant is a stickler for professionalism. Just the fact that he was even considering me is a huge, huge honor. But now....now I’m expected to go into his office tomorrow morning with neon green hair. All because you couldn’t stop to think about another person for five fucking seconds. Or maybe you can. Maybe...maybe you just can’t stop to think about me.”

Louis hadn’t processed that Harry was leaving until he heard the door slam shut behind him. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t do anything. All he could was sit down on the foot of his bed and put his face in his hands. Harry’s words echoed through his head as if playing on a broken record. The words felt like sharp little slaps, but Louis knew they were true. Everything Harry had said had been true. Louis had been carrying around so much anger towards Harry even all these years later - even after Harry had opened up to him about his mum’s boyfriend. Louis had still blamed Harry - fifteen year old Harry with big green eyes filled with hope and love and just wanting to please. Louis’ heart felt like broken glass in his chest. And then...then Harry had told them about this brilliant opportunity he’d been given. Louis remembered. Harry had come home so, so excited. He’d practically been glowing as he told them at dinner that night how Mr. Grant had specifically requested a meeting with him to discuss his photography. Mr. Grant who was so uptight and who never tolerated anything apart from absolute professionalism from his students. Mr. Grant who was so old school he insisted tattoos be covered and no hats be worn in his presence. Mr. Grant who Harry had admired and looked up to for so long. Mr. Grant who Harry had wanted to please for so long had requested a meeting with him! And Harry had circled it on the calendar on the fridge and Louis had known. Louis had known it was tomorrow. Louis knew. And Louis just hadn’t thought.

All Louis had thought about was getting a reaction from Harry.

Well, he sure had succeeded.

At least he wasn’t an absolute failure in everything.

\----

Needless to say, the prank war was called off. Louis kept himself locked in his room, unable to face anyone after what had just happened. Every part of him felt ashamed. What he’d done had been immature and cruel. Immature to pull the prank. Cruel to treat Harry the way he had for so long. And the thing was, he knew he was doing it even when he didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to admit that he still harbored so much anger and hurt towards Harry. He had tried to tell himself they were fine, but they weren’t fine because Louis hadn’t let them be. He’d been the one to hold Harry at arm’s length. If even that. And now Louis may have jeopardized any chance he had at being friends or brothers or anything really with Harry. And what was even worse was that Louis may have jeopardized any chance Harry had to feature his photographs in showcase. 

He couldn’t help but think to what Harry had said to him - about him being selfish. He wished it wasn’t true, but it was. He had been selfish. He had been cold and unwelcoming and had made Harry feel out of place. Then, he’d had the gall to complain to Zayn about not being close enough to Harry. It was an odd limbo, where he’d been. A limbo of being in between wanting to be friends with Harry - and maybe more - and wanting to hate him still for hurting him. 

Louis wanted to go to Harry, to apologize, and to just explain. But how could he? If he did, he knew he would more than likely make everything even more of a mess than it already was. Instead, he hid in his room, trying to shake the feeling of lead in the pit of his stomach.

About two hours into his hiding, there was a soft knock on the bedroom door and Zayn’s voice said, “Lou...Lou? I um...I brought you a snack. Can I come in?”

“I guess so.”

Zayn entered, a plate of homemade nachos in hand, “Thought you might want a bite to eat.”

“Thanks. Have you um...have you talked to H?”

“I tried,” Zayn sat down on the edge of Louis’ bed, setting the plate of nachos between them, “I told him it was all my idea and all my fault for even suggesting something like that. But he...he didn’t really want to listen to what I had to say. I’m sorry.”

“It was just a prank,” Louis shook his head adamantly, “Like, I get that he has this huge interview tomorrow or whatever, but like you and Liam and Niall all survived just fine with artificially colored hair. It wasn’t anything personal.”

“But wasn’t it though? You pulled that prank on him to get him to notice you. This whole prank war thing sprung about because you wanted to break the ice with him. It wasn’t about me, or Liam, or Niall. It was just about him. And the thing is, I know you mean well, Lou. But Harry...he doesn’t. I know you were just trying to make him fit into your life, make him one of us. But he isn’t one of us. You’re never going to be able to have with him what you have with the rest of us because of that history that’s between the two of you. And to Harry, the prank wasn’t about trying to treat him like you would any of the rest of us. To Harry, it was you singling him out and, in his mind, punishing him for what happened when you were teenagers. Which...that’s not fair to him, Louis. It’s not.”

“I know it’s not. I know. I just...I don’t know what to do with him, Zayn. I want to go and apologize. I know I fucked up. I didn’t think any of this through and while it was a harmless prank, it wasn’t harmless to him and I really think I hurt him a lot tonight. And I...I can’t have that. I need to fix this. I need to make this right.”

Zayn rested his hand on Louis’ knee, “Bab, I don’t think going to him right now is such a good idea.”

“Did...did he say something to you?” Louis’ face crumbled at the thought.

“He said he’s done. But I wouldn’t like take that to mean something permanent. I think he just needs some space from you right now, bab. Just as confused as you are by his presence in your life, I am sure he’s just as equally confused too. You’re probably just as overwhelming to him as he is to you. Just give him some time. Back off and let him breathe a bit and think. You both need to sort of process what’s going on and figure out how to deal with each other being in your lives again. Be kind to him when you’re around him, but don’t push him. He’ll come to you in his own time I’m sure. Just...give him some time, okay?”

Louis’ chest felt tight as he said, “I don’t want to lose him again, Zayn. I know I didn’t technically have him. But at least it was something. I don’t...I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him again a second time.”

“I know, Louis. I know.”

“When he first came,” Louis picked at a stray thread on his duvet, smiling softly at the irony of the life he was in, “I wanted him gone so bad. I wanted to kick him out and throw him to the streets. I never wanted to see him again and didn’t want him around me. Now...after tonight...I can’t think of anything that’d be worse than to not have Harry in my life. It’s like...it’s like a huge part of me was gone and I didn’t even realize it or notice. I just had so much anger still from something that happened years ago. And now...now he’s here. And I feel something I haven’t felt in too long, Zayn. And I felt...I felt on fire around him. And it felt right - his lanky body shoved against mine on the couch, hearing his booming laugh all the way from in here, watching him organize his laundry by color and fabric. It felt right again. And I just...fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Have I completely screwed up here?”

“I don’t know, bab. I don’t think so. But just give him some space, okay?”

“Everything is all mixed up,” Louis put his face in his hands, “I was fine until he came back, Zayn. I was _fine!_ ”

“Were you though?”

Louis didn’t answer.

\----

The next day, Louis finally forced himself to join the living. He was still wary about seeing Harry, but he knew he couldn’t spend the entire day in bed, locked away from everyone. When he came out to the kitchen, Liam was at the stove make eggs and bacon and the smell alone was enough to convince Louis he had made the right decision in coming downstairs. 

“What’s all this?” He asked, coming up behind Niall who was pouring juice into glasses, and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Good luck breakfast for H,” Niall explained, “His meeting with Mr. Grant is in about two hours. He’s getting ready now. Poor pup is about to jump out of his own skin, he’s so nervous.”

Louis frowned, he didn’t like the idea of Harry being so nervous, especially if whatever had happened between them last night had made his nerves even worse. Louis hated the thought that he contributed to the anxieties Harry was feeling that morning. He grabbed a slice of bacon from the plate by the stove and munched on it thoughtfully, considering going to Harry’s room and knocking on his door to apologize again and wish him luck. But he remembered Zayn’s words of just giving Harry his space. And really, that’s all Harry had asked for last night - for Louis to just stay away. Louis could do that. He could. He’d been away from Harry for the last five years. He could stay away. He could.

“I told him to text us as soon as he found anything out,” Liam said, scooping the scrambled eggs onto a serving plate just as Harry stepped into the kitchen, “Hey, Sunshine!” Liam greeted, “Made you some Go-Kick-Arse breakfast!”

Harry smiled so big the dimple in his cheek cratered so deep that Louis thought it’d go all the way through, “Thanks, Liam,” Harry said, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his nose against Liam’s neck, “This is so, so sweet of you.”

“It’s no big deal,” Liam shrugged, “Now shoo! Go sit down and try to relax and I’ll bring you a plate,” Liam ordered, giving Harry a quick tickle to make him let go. Harry giggled and sat down happily at the kitchen table next to Zayn.

Louis sat down on the other side of Zayn while Niall and Liam brought over the plate of eggs and bacon and glasses of orange juice. It all looked so good, but Louis couldn’t help but glance away from the platter of food to steal glances towards Harry. He was smiling as Liam shoveled the eggs onto his plate, but Louis could feel his leg bouncing under the table. He wanted to reach across Zayn and put his hand on Harry’s knee to still it, but doubted neither Harry nor Zayn would appreciate that too much.

“You are going to do so great, H,” Zayn said, reaching up to ruffle his curls.

“God, I hope so,” Harry bit his nip nervously as he scooted the eggs around his plate with his fork, “I just really, really want this. And now that it’s so close, I’d be devastated if he were to pick someone else.”

“He wouldn’t. Not if he knows a lick of talent, he wouldn’t,” Niall said decidedly.

Louis picked at his eggs, suddenly not really feeling like eating. 

“Well, I don’t know...there’re a lot of really great people he’s considering. I’ve seen their work and it’s all...it’s really good. I’m definitely not the best, not by a long shot.”

“Of course you are,” Louis said without really thinking. He hadn’t even meant to say it outloud, was the thing. He was just quietly shoveling his eggs around when suddenly the first thought that came to his mind was spilling out of his mouth and there was no taking it back now. He glanced up, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. He cleared his throat a bit before saying, “What? It’s true. Your stuff is really good, H. And all I’m basing this off of is seeing what you can do with an iPhone, VSCO, and Instagram. I can only imagine what you can do with a professional camera and darkroom. So yeah, your work is fucking awesome and don’t put yourself down about it.” Louis concluding his tirade by shoveling a whole slice of bacon in his mouth at once to avoid having to say anything else for a moment.

Zayn gave his knee a reassuring squeeze, though it did nothing to curb the nausea building in his stomach. Why the fuck had he said those things? 

“I um…” Harry dabbed his lips with his napkin, “...I don’t think I can eat anymore, Liam. It’s terrific and I appreciate it so, so much. But I am just...I’m too nervous to eat. I’m worried if I eat another bite, I’ll lose it all all over Mr. Grant’s shoes the second he leads me into his office. But thank you.”

“Of course, sunshine.”

“I’m going to just uh...go finish getting ready and take off in a bit. Don’t want to be late or something.”

Louis felt, again, like he’d been punched in the stomach. 

“Why did I even say that?” Louis groaned as soon as Harry had cleared his dishes and disappeared back into his bedroom, “What is wrong with me?”

“What you said was lovely,” Liam smiled reassuringly.

“He’s never going to forgive me for last night,” Louis shook his head, “What is wrong with me? It’s like...he comes back into my life and my brain decides to go on permanent vacation.” 

“At least the green faded a tad,” Niall said brightly, the whole table glared at him. “What? Just saying!”

\----

Louis was thankful when the email came through from his literature professor announcing class was canceled due to her needing an emergency root canal. He wasn’t thankful that she was in pain, of course, but just that he could have the day to himself. He still needed to review his Chemistry notes and after everything that had happened last night, he wasn’t too sure he could take having to sit through an entire lecture. Also, he was starting to get secondhand nerves for Harry. He couldn’t help but check the time on his phone every few minutes. Of course, he was confident that Harry was going to completely smash the interview and blow the socks off Mr. Grant. But even still, he knew there was a possibility that Mr. Grant could just be an absolute prick with no tastes at all and pick someone else. He couldn’t do that though. He needed to pick Harry. This was so important to Harry and he wanted it so badly. He just had to pick him. He had to!

Louis tried to busy himself by watching a Walking Dead marathon, but could only focus on checking his phone. Finally, just as Daryl Dixon impaled a walker through the eye socket with an arrow, his phone buzzed beside him. Louis nearly jumped out of his skin as he grabbed for it and checked his messages. There was one new message in their group chat. Louis held his breath, only to see it was a gif Niall had sent of Alec Baldwin giving a thumbs up. Louis rolled his eyes, locking his phone, and putting it back on his mattress. Fucking, Niall.

Finally though, the front door opened up and Louis sprang out of bed. Liam and Niall were the only other ones home, and Zayn had figure drawing until later that evening. It had to be Harry. No more false alarms. Louis had to compose himself in the hallway to keep from running out to the living room. He didn’t want to look too anxious, not after his overshare at the kitchen table that morning. He would casually just walk out to the front of the house, maybe meander towards the kitchen to grab a Lucozade. Perfectly casual, right?

Perfectly casual went right out the window though when, as soon as he stepped into the living room, he was nearly toppled over by an armful of excited boy. He nearly choked on a mouthful of curls, and in spite of his confusion, couldn’t help but laugh as Harry began to jump up and down, still with Louis in his arms and thus making Louis jump up and down with him.

“I take it you have good news then?” Louis giggled as Harry continued jumping them up and down.

“No silly, we’re jumping because I have terrible news.”

“Sarcasm will get you a pinch to the nipple, Haz.”

“Sorry,” Harry flushed slightly, still jumping and laughing with Louis in his arms, “But yes! Yes, I got it, Louis! I got it! Mr. Grant loved my work and said that it was clear how passionate I am and I get to have my photos featured in the gallery showcase, Louis! And it’s a huge event and lots of potential gallery owners will be there and lots of art critics and oh my God!”

“Haz! Haz! That’s amazing! But if you don’t stop jumping me up and down, you’re going to give me an aneurysm and then how will I be able to come to the opening night?”

“You’re going to come to the opening night?” Harry asked, suddenly stilling them though he still had a grasp on Louis, holding him at arm’s length.

“Well yeah. If you want me there.” Louis suddenly realized that Harry might say no. 

“Of course, Lou. Of course I want you there,” Harry pulled him tight against his chest, and they stood like that for a little too long, Louis wrapping his arms around Harry and burying his face against his chest. 

“Why?” Louis mumbled against the fabric of Harry’s shirt, “Why are you telling me? Why…”

“Because,” Harry said firmly, as if there were no room for argument, “Five years and you’ve been the person I’ve wanted to tell good news to first. Five years and you’ve still been the person I wanted to share everything with. And now, for the first time, I can. Don’t get it wrong, I still am pissed at you for what you did last night. But I can finally tell the person I always wanted to tell my good news to, my good news. So just let me have this moment, okay?”

Louis held him a little tighter after that confession, “Of course, love,” Louis said, reaching a hand up to tug at a washed-out green curl, “I see Mr. Grant didn’t mind the new hair then?”

“Holding you like this makes it very accessible for me to knee you in the crotch, Tomlinson.”

“Sorry,” Louis smirked shyly, giving the curl a final tug before returning his hand to the middle of Harry’s back.

“He did ask what sort of statement I was making by having green hair.”

“And what did you say?”

“I might have froze a tad.”

Louis pulled back slightly, fixing Harry with a firm look, “What did you say, Haz?”

“That...that I was protesting the practice of genetically modifying vegetables.”

“Oh...my...god,” Louis deadpanned before unable to contain his laughter another second.

“Hey, you’re the one that got me into this mess, you little shit,” Harry grinned, reaching down to pinch Louis’ hip, making him yelp and squirm in Harry’s grasp.

“Yeah but I didn’t tell you to come up with the lamest cover story ever for it, you wanker,” Louis pinched him back.

“And what was I supposed to tell the man who held my future in his hands? That my arsehole of a best mate dyed my hair green as a prank in spite of the fact that we’re into our twenties.”

“It was a damn good prank, was what it was. Mr. Grant would have been impressed. And wait...what was that ‘best mate’ comment?” Louis asked, feeling something stir in his tummy.

“Don’t go getting a complex, _Lewis_. Besides, I highly doubt Mr. Grant would be impressed by your level of maturity,” Harry smirked smugly, pinching Louis’ side this time. Louis may or may not have squealed.

“That prank is iconic,” Louis smirked devilishly, “Anyone with any brains would have me crowned The King of Pranks,” Louis’ smirk grew just a tad as he reached up to pinch just under Harry’s arm, right above his ribs - one of most ticklish spots, if memory served.

It was Harry’s turn to squeal as he retaliated with a pinch above Louis’ bellybutton, “King of Pranks, really Louis? Really? King of Being a Dickhead, more like.”

And when Liam and Niall found them, Harry had Louis pressed against the back of the couch as they pinched each other, squealing, giggling, and yelping all while calling each other almost every curse word in the book - and a few customized ones made up on the spot.

“Curly-haired cunt!” Louis squealed just as Harry dug his fingers into his left flank.

“Well, at least they aren’t trying to kill each other,” Niall mused, folding his arms across his chest and looking on, amused.

“You sure about that, Nialler?” Liam chuckled. 

Louis finally caught Harry’s hands in his own, stilling him, “Alright, alright,” he gasped, breathless and still giggly and overwhelmed by the afternoon’s turn of events, “I surrender!”

“I don’t see a white flag anywhere.”

“Styles, I will rip your pants out through your jeans and wave them around if I have to. That enough of a white flag for you?”

Harry paused, “Fair point.”

“So…” Niall cleared his throat, “How did the meeting go?”

“Great! Mr. Grant loved my work, and me too I suppose. I got the gallery position. I’ll have my work featured in the gallery!”

“That is so awesome, H!” Liam and Niall both hurried over to give him a hug. Louis backed away a bit, allowing the three of them to have their moment and watching as Liam ruffled Harry’s curls fondly.

“When is the opening?” Niall asked.

“The first weekend of October,” Harry explained.

“We’ll all be there,” Liam assured, “None of us would miss it for the world.”

“You better be there,” Harry grinned before sending Louis a pointed look that he felt deep down in his stomach, “Every single one of you, or else.”

\----

The thing was, Louis and Harry had been best mates the summer they’d shared together as teenagers. Just best mates who also happened to kiss and hold hands and be absolutely shit-faced crazy for one another. And they prided themselves in being able to go from taking each other’s breath away one moment, to bickering and driving each other absolutely insane the next. Banter was an olympic sport to them, and they both were gold medalists. It was one of the things that had made their relationship so special, one of the reasons Louis never was able to have what he’d had with Harry with anyone else. He’d tried. He had tried dating around and tried finding something, but nothing came even close to what he’d once shared with Harry. And the thing that had made them so special, the thing that made Harry still It for Louis, was the fact that they were best mates first and foremost.

After that afternoon when Harry had found out about being features in the gallery, it was as if everything faded away - all the drama, hurt feelings, all of it had faded away, or at least, didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. Because in that moment, after all the bitterness and tension between them, it was as if they realized none of that truly mattered. What mattered was that they had their best friend back in their lives again, and they weren’t about to let go of that again.

It was as if everything just clicked into place - finally. Harry finally fit into Louis’ life, and Louis finally fit into Harry’s. And they became, essentially, attached at the hip from that point on. Together, they antagonized Liam, teased Niall, pulled pranks on Zayn. Movie nights meant the two of them tangled up together on the couch, sharing whispers and playful touches. And late night conversations on Louis’ bed over boxes of Jaffa Cakes became the norm, and quickly one of Louis’ favorite things between them. They could talk for hours about anything under the sun, really. And while Louis was close to all the boys, Harry just seemed to get him on that level he’d never really shared with anyone before. Their conversations quickly meant the world to Louis. It was during one of these nights that Louis confessed that sentiment to Harry.

“You know,” he said, tapping a Jaffa Cake on the duvet of his bed, “I love these talks between us, H.”

Harry glanced up, meeting Louis’ gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, neither one breaking their gaze. It was as if the world seemed to stop turning suddenly, and nothing existed outside of them in that moment. 

“Same, Lou,” a soft smile broke out across Harry’s face, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

The air suddenly felt very thick and Louis suddenly became very aware of the sound of his own breath. Something stirred in the pit of his tummy. Then, just as quickly, Harry said --

“You snatched the last Jaffa Cake!”

A grin spread across Louis’ face, “Well if you want it,” he said, holding up the Jaffa Cake in his hand, “you’re gonna have to come get it --”

He barely finished his sentence before Harry was tackling him against the bed.

\----

It was Friday, October 5th, and Louis had changed three times already. Zayn was pounding on his bedroom door, shouting that they were going to be late. Louis ignored him, turning sideways in his full-length mirror and examining his reflection with astute concentration. He let out a groan before going back into his closet for round four.

“Louis!” Zayn pounded again, “I swear to God!”

“I know, I know,” Louis whined, ripping of the white button down and grabbing a sleek black one instead, “Just...five minutes! I just need five more minutes!”

“You’ve had five minutes. Fuck, Lou...I swear. I am sure you look fantastic. Just get your arse out here or I’m getting Liam.”

“Or I’m getting Liam,” Louis mimicked, rolling his eyes as his fingers quickly worked to do up the buttons.

“What is all the fuss for anyway? Jesus.”

Louis opened his mouth to argue, or tell Zayn to fuck right off, but he couldn’t. He didn’t really know why he was making such a fuss over his outfit for the evening. It was Harry’s night, and Harry hadn’t even put that much of a fuss into what he’d worn. He’d just come home, changed into black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt and looked effortlessly stunning before heading off to the gallery to shake hands with whoever all he had to meet with before the opening.

But the thing was, this was Harry’s big night. And Louis just wanted to look presentable. More than presentable, actually. He couldn’t explain it really. But it was a big deal to Harry, so it was a big deal to him. And he wanted to look nice.

“Mate,” Niall was at his door next, “H’ll think you look stunning no matter what so move your fucking arse!”

“Eloquent, Niall,” Louis rolled his eyes, turning back to face his reflection. 

He’d finally settled on black skinny dress pants, his black button down, and black dress shoes with white laces that looked like his typical Vans, but leather. He smirked a little as he reached up to adjust his fringe. Niall had said Harry would think he looked stunning. The thought made butterflies swell and swarm in his tummy.

He’d done a pretty decent job at pushing aside the feelings he still had for Harry in favor of the friendship they’d rekindled. But he still couldn’t help the butterflies he got around him, the way his skin always felt electric, and the flush he always sported after a tickle fight. But he had Harry in his life again, and as a best mate at that. And Louis couldn’t jeopardize that, he just couldn’t. But that didn’t mean he was able to completely ignore the feelings he still had. The past two months with Harry being in his life again had been a complete roller coaster. But it was October now, the third month, and things were so, so good. Louis didn’t want to jostle it, or do anything to change their dynamic. They already got under each other’s skin at times, and their little spats were just a part of their friendship - or so he’d come to accept. An after-effect of the strain they had put on one another in the past. But he never doubted Harry. He didn’t fear losing Harry for good again. But he did fear losing what they had. After everything, they were finally in a good place. They were finally happy. He wasn’t going to throw a wrench in that by admitting to feelings that ran deeper than friendship.

“Louis, I swear to God!” Liam’s voice boomed through the door.

Louis swung open the bedroom door, smiling angelically and maybe even batting his lashes a couple of times, “What’s the matter, Payno?” Louis asked sweetly, patting his chest, “Aren’t you ready to go?”

When they arrived at the gallery, they arrived right on time. The campus parking lot in front of the gallery was already starting to fill up and Liam had to park their car close to the back. Louis had to admit, he was impressed by the turn out. All these people would see his Hazza’s photographs on display. He could hardly contain his pride.

The gallery itself was a small building on the south end of the campus. They’d gone to the gallery before for some of Zayn’s work, but never for a gallery opening and Zayn’s art had never been the featured attraction. As soon as they walked inside, they were greeted by a man in a black dress shirt who handed them a pamphlet on the photographs features. Louis opened his pamphlet to find that Harry had a whole page written up just for him. A black and white photo of him holding a camera was the featured photo. Below the photo was a small biography. Louis’ heart swelled as he skimmed over it.

“There he is!” Niall moved to charge towards Harry but Zayn held him back by his sleeve. Harry was surrounding by a group of Very Important Looking People, and he had just said something that made the entire group roar with laughter. Of course he did, Louis grinned.

Harry caught sight of their little group and gave them a nod and wave. He finished talking with his group before moving over towards them.

“Hi!” He beamed excitedly, green eyes glistening, “Sorry! That was Mr. Grant and - get this - some of the members of a London Arts Society that love my work! Can you believe it?”

“That’s so awesome, H,” Zayn pulled Harry into a hug, “It all looks amazing.”

“You think?” Harry bit his bottom lip, “I hope so. Oh God. I am like shaking I’m so nervous!”

“It’s brilliant, Harry,” Louis said, before tacking on firmly, “You’re brilliant.”

Harry’s cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, “Thank you,” he whispered, before turning and saying, “There’s refreshments over there on that table, and a few waiters running around with trays of champagne and these yummy shrimp puffs! Oh my god, I am so happy you’re all here! Go, go! Take a look at everything and enjoy the food and free booze,” he paused to giggle, “I have to meet a few more people, but I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Niall was already halfway over to the refreshments table.

“Better go make sure he doesn’t make a complete pig out of himself,” Louis turned to Harry and gave his elbow a squeeze, “It really is brilliant, Harry. You deserve this.”

Harry blushed again before excusing himself to meet with more people. Louis wandered around the gallery, taking in all of Harry’s photographs. They were all done in black and white, all focused on lots of shadows and how light hit certain objects and angles. His titles for his photographs were all one or two random words that seemed not to fit with anything, but Louis was certain they had some deep meaning to Harry.

“Recognize this one?” Zayn asked, coming up behind Louis and pointing at one of the photos next to him. It was a black and white of pizza on a coffee table. It hit Louis suddenly that that was taken in their house. The caption was simply: Thanksgiving.

“He talks about it in the pamphlet,” Zayn explained.

Louis opened up the pamphlet to Harry’s page. He skimmed over the words until he got to the part where Thanksgiving was mentioned. It said: 

> _ One particular work of Mr. Styles is his photo, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving features pizza on a coffee table in a typical uni setting. Mr. Styles says he chose the title Thanksgiving due to the fact that the photo was taken at his new home with people whom he considers his family. Thanksgiving embodies family, gathering, joy, and thankfulness. Mr. Styles says while the photo may appear to be a mundane photo of pizza, that the caption entices people to look beyond that and be opened up to Thanksgiving being something beyond an American holiday of turkey and stuffing. That the feelings that embody Thanksgiving can be experienced surrounded by good pizza and good company. _

“Zayn.”

“Yeah, bab?”

“I think I’m going to cry a bit.”

Zayn squeezed his shoulder.

“I love him quite a lot,” Louis said, blinking at the realization of what he’d just said.

“We all do, bab.”

“No,” Louis turned to face Zayn, “I...I love him. Quite a lot.”

Zayn responding by pulling Louis into a tight hug.

\----

After the gallery had closed, the five of them were stood outside in the parking lot, hands shoved into jacket pockets, pretending not to be shivering as the chatted about the opening. Finally, Niall announced he was hungry and that shrimp puffs were not enough to “fill up a growing lad.” So they made plans to drive to a diner not too far from campus for a late night dinner. Harry had taken Niall’s car, and the rest of the boys had arrived in Liam’s. They split up between the two cars and headed over to Elmer’s Diner.

Niall, Louis, and Harry all took Niall’s car. Louis let Harry ride shotgun and tried not to pout too visibly over the fact that he didn’t get to sit next to him.

“It was really fantastic, H,” Niall said as they drove to Elmer’s, “Honestly. Really brilliant.”

“What was your favorite?” Harry asked.

“Mine was probably _Raconteur_. I liked that one a lot,” Niall grinned.

“What about you, Lou?” Harry asked, turning to the backseat and worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“ _Thanksgiving_ , definitely,” Louis answered without missing a beat. He caught Harry’s gaze and smiled, hoping he could convey in some sort of telepathic sense just how much that photo meant to him.

“Mine too,” Harry matched his smile, “I was hoping you’d like it.”

“Sorry your family couldn’t make it, H,” Niall said, changing the subject and making something twinge inside Louis. He never heard Harry mention his family. There were times when he’d call home and times when he’d talk to Gemma on the phone for a few hours, but he never really talked about his mum and stepdad. 

“Oh...yeah,” Harry began to pick at a hangnail on his thumb, “I um...I might have not told them.”

“Harry, how could you not have told them?” Niall’s jaw dropped.

“I just...I didn’t really want to bother them with this. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” Niall pushed, “Harry, what’s going on? I know there’s something you’re not saying.”

Louis wanted to push too, but he didn’t want Harry to feel obligated to say anything he wasn’t ready to. “Niall,” he said, “I’m sure Harry has a good reason…”

“It’s a long story,” Harry cut in, “but I suppose I should tell it to you. I would have to eventually, so it might as well be now.”

“What’s going on, babe?” Louis asked, his brows furrowed. He didn’t like the thought that Harry hadn’t shared this with him, especially since they’d been sharing practically everything together in those late night conversations. Still, he knew Harry and knew Harry had his reasons. He wasn’t going to dwell too hard on feeling a tad left out. If Harry had wanted him to know, he’d have told him. This was when he was choosing to let them into this part of his life, and Louis needed to accept that.

Harry took a shaky breath, “The reason I needed a place to live so quickly was because of the situation I was in with my boyfriend at the time. Well, ex I suppose I should say. He wasn’t...he wasn’t very good to me, I’m afraid. But he was excellent at making everyone around him think he was. He had everyone wrapped around his finger, including me. But as good as he was around other people, in private...he was horrible to me. I just...I don’t know how I put up with it. But I didn’t really have anywhere to go. And then one day, he came home and told me to pack my things and get out by the end of the week. Which is where you guys come in.”

“Oh, Haz…” Louis said on a breath.

“I’m okay, I am. He never like...he never hit me. But the things he’d say to me...it was almost just as bad. Sometimes I just wished he would hit me so others could see he bruises he’d leave, so they wouldn’t be invisible. But the thing was...he made my mum fall in love with him. And my stepdad, Robin. They were very close to him and that made me feel like I couldn’t tell them any of this. I didn’t want to hurt them. So I started keeping them at arm’s length. And I guess it just became habit because I still do. I don’t even realize I’m doing it sometimes until Gemma will tell me I should call because it’s been three weeks since I’ve spoken to Mum.”

“I am so sorry, Haz,” Louis reached up to place his hand on Harry’s shoulder, his heart breaking under the heaviness of Harry’s words.

“It’s okay, really. I am fine now, more than fine. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for all of you. I was in such a dark place when I moved in with you, but you mates have helped me so much...more than I can ever say. And that just...I truly love you guys. You mean the world to me. I’m still healing, but you’ve helped me come such a long way over these last few months.”

“We love you too,” Niall squeezed Harry’s knee, “So much, H. Isn’t that right, Lou?”

Louis froze for a brief moment before clearing his throat and saying, “Of course we do, love.”

“Thanks, you guys,” Harry flushed, “I have been honestly thinking of trying to reconnect with my mum. I miss her so much - and Robin too. I just...not yet. One day, but not today. Gemma knows all this, and she’s really great about not pushing me into something I’m not really ready for. She’s really awesome, actually. I just...I am so lucky I have you guys. Because you have become like a stand-in family to me. More than just a stand-in family. You guys are my family at this point. And shit...I’m getting teary-eyed.”

Louis had a million things he wanted to say, instead he squeezed Harry’s shoulder again, saying, “I am so, so happy you moved in with us, Hazza.”

“I’m so, so happy I moved in with you too, Lou,” Harry reached up to touch his hand to Louis’, “but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell the other guys. I just...it’s something I like keeping more to myself.”

“Of course,” Niall nodded, “thank you for telling us.”

Harry just smiled. It wasn’t until Niall pulled into the parking lot of Elmer’s that Louis realized he and Harry were still touching hands.

\----

Elmer’s was a quaint little diner not far from campus at all. However, it mostly frequented by those with greying hair and discounts on “Senior Blue Plate Specials.” But it was one of the few places around campus that wasn’t completely overtaken by squealing teenagers fresh away from home at uni. It had blue vinyl booths and a fireplace in the middle of the restaurant, giving it a homey feel. They were seated at one of the booths nearest the fireplace. Louis slid in beside Harry and sneered at Niall when he tried to budge in next to him forcing him to squeeze in on the other side of Liam and Zayn. Louis smirked, satisfied with his minor victory, and a waitress brought them laminated menus and told them she’d return in just a moment for their orders.

“This is my first time here…” Harry started, scanning over the sticky pages.

“How have we never brought him here before?” Niall frowned, “We used to come here all the time last semester.”

“Been busy, I guess,” Liam shrugged, “I mean, I do think this is the first time in months we’ve had a chance to all go out together. Our schedules don’t really let us all have some time off to spend together. It’s nice. The gallery was awesome, H. You are very talented!”

Harry blushed, hiding slightly behind his menu, “Thank you.”

“He’s right,” Zayn nodded, “Really, H. Quality work.”

Harry squirmed a little in the booth, a smile spreading across his cheeks as he murmured, “Thank you.”

“Hey,” Louis nudged against him, “Tonight’s your night, Haz. Order whatever you want, our treat. If you want to get a triple fudge sundae with extra cherries and an order of chips and gravy, go for it.”

“Oh I couldn’t ask you guys to do that…”

“Really,” Liam reached across the table to pat Harry’s wrist, “we don’t mind, Sunshine. Order whatever you want, on us.”

“Thank you,” Harry marveled, eyes dancing across the menu.

Louis had to turn his eyes to his own menu and lift it to his face to hide the fond smile he was currently sporting. Making Harry happy - making Harry smile - was his favorite thing in the entire world. Seeing the other boys on board with his agenda of spoiling Harry rotten only made his heart feel all the more full. Harry deserved to be spoiled, to be loved, to be cared for. It had almost been an understatement when Louis had said he was glad Harry had moved in with them. He was overjoyed. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to will the goofy grin off his face as he scanned over the dinner options. 

When the waitress returned, they placed their orders - a blue cheese bacon burger for Liam, a double cheeseburger for Niall, a chicken sandwich for Zayn, a patty melt for Louis, and a turkey club for Harry. All with several rounds of bottomless fries and chocolate milkshakes to share.

After they placed their orders, Louis glanced up to see a familiar face walking through the door.

“Oh God,” he groaned.

“What? What’s wrong?” Liam glanced over to see what Louis was staring at, “Oh.”

“What’s going on?” Harry frowned, brows pulling together, “Lou? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, um. It’s just...that’s El. We had a literature class together last year and um, she kind of had a crush on me. Apparently she couldn’t pick up on the fact that she was barking up the wrong tree, and I didn’t exactly have the heart to just come right out and tell her, ‘oh hey, I like dick.’”

“Eloquent,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Oh no,” Zayn giggled, “It gets better.”

“Shut up. Shut up now,” Louis said through gritted teeth.

“Ooh do tell,” Harry grinned excitedly, “C’mon, Lou. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, it was bad,” Liam smirked, “it was beyond bad.”

“Will someone just tell me,” Harry pouted.

“He actually went out with her,” Niall cackled, “Like legit agreed to go on a date with her. Paid for her meal, bought her her cinnema ticket. The whole enchilada. And then at the end of the night told her that he just wasn’t feeling it and that he’d still like to just be friends though.”

“You didn’t!” Harry gasped, scandelized, “How is that somehow better than just telling her you’re gay?”

“Thank you, Nialler,” Louis glared daggers at him before turning his attention back to Harry, “I tried to drop hints all year in class. I did. But she just never picked up on them. That or she deluded herself into thinking that maybe if she tried hard enough, she could convince me to be attracted to her? I don’t know! I just thought taking her out and letting her down gently would be better.”

“You’re a moron,” Zayn laughed.

Louis kicked him, “So we’ve established. Now can we just drop it. She’s coming over here! Shit! She’s coming over here! Okay, act casuaul.”

“You are telling _us_ to act casual?” Liam raised a brow. Louis kicked him too just as Elenaor rounded the corner to their booth.

“Louis?” She asked, brown eyes sparkling the second she saw him. 

Louis felt mildly nauseous as he gave her a little wave, “Hey, El. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah um, I just stopped by with some friends for a late dinner. How’ve you been? It sucks that we don’t have classes together this year.”

“Right? I’ve been around. Mostly keeping busy with classes and this lot. You look lovely, El. Truely. It’s good to see you.”

Beside him, Louis could feel Harry stiffen just slightly. He pushed the thought out of his mind though as he said, “I hope you have a lovely evening with your friends. Get a chocolate milkshake, they’re delicious!”

“Thanks, Lou. You look amazing as always, I must say. Well, it was nice to see you! Have a good night.”

“You too, darling.”

El gave a little wave to the table before retreating back to her friends. Louis let out a little sigh of relief. That hadn’t gone as terribly as it could have. 

“Maybe she’d have picked up on your hints better if you didn’t incessantly flirt with her,” Niall rolled his eyes from across the booth.

“I flirt with everyone,” Louis shrugged, “It means nothing.”

“Tommo the tease,” Liam chuckled.

Suddenly, Louis felt a harsh squeeze on his thigh. He looked down to see Harry’s hand gripping his denim-clad thigh so tightly that his knuckles were white and Louis was certain he’d have bruises there come morning. But instead of paying Louis any further attention than that, Harry was resting his head against his wrist and was staring at the television hanging from the wall playing Elvis’ Jailhouse Rock music video. His head was completely turned from Louis, his eyes locked on the television. Louis shifted slightly, trying to ignore the way he could feel Harry’s grip right down to his crotch. What was his problem anyway? Could it possibly be that Harry was jealous? Of what? Of what Liam had said? Of what Niall had said? It was true, Louis was a flirt. But he hadn’t dated anyone in ages. Besides, he was a little too caught up with being in love with the boy who currently had a vice grip on his leg, thank you very much. 

Louis reveled in the thought that Harry could possibly be jealous. But there was a twinging in the pit of his stomach - something that could be possibly related to guilt. Louis wasn’t too sure. He felt like he’d done something though - something wrong, and something he needed to make up for. So Louis reached up and began to card his fingers through Harry’s curls, feeling the grip on his thigh slowly loosen. In spite of that, Harry still kept his hand on Louis’ thigh - something Louis wasn’t exactly going to complain about. He began to scratch his blunt nails at the nape of Harry’s neck. A smile pulled at his lips as Harry nuzzled against Louis’ hand, encouraging him to keep scratching.

“Such a kitten,” Louis said, his voice barely audible so that just Harry could hear it.

“Your kitten?” Harry asked. And Jesus. He couldn’t just say shit like that. He _couldn’t!_

“Sure,” Louis shrugged apathetically, figuring it was just Harry being Harry. He didn’t even understand the weight of his words, or their implication. It was just Harry being Harry. So Louis replied with a just as casual, “Only my kitten,” swallowing the depth of them so hard that he felt them settle in the pit of his stomach like weights.

Suddenly, Harry lifted up and licked a thick stripe along Louis’ cheek. Louis squealed and pulled away, wiping his cheek in horror as he stared at the boy who simply smiled cheekily at him as if he’d done nothing wrong.

“You’re disgusting,” Louis accused, grabbing for his napkin, “Here I was being all nice and you had to go and ruin it, Styles. No more head scratches for you.”

Harry pouted instantly, “Noo, Lou!” He whined, bottom lip starting to jut out even more.

“Hush you,” Louis wiped at his cheek with the napkin as Niall laughed from across the table, “Jesus. You can’t just lick people.”

“But...it felt nice.”

“No. I said no more head scratches. And that’s final.”

Louis lasted about forty-five seconds before he allowed Harry to rest his head back against his shoulder and found himself scratching just behind Harry’s ear. He was smitten for the boy, what could he say? Harry had him completely wrapped around his little finger, and Louis wasn’t sure he completely minded.

“You two are precious,” Zayn, his eyes darting carefully, pointedly, between Louis and Harry.

Louis cleared his throat and sat up a tad, jostling Harry off his shoulder. Harry pouted, but sat up and didn’t protest. Louis cleared his throat and pretended to scratch at a crack on the table. This was a conversation he didn’t want to have right now. He could feel the blush on his cheeks, and he knew if backed into a corner enough, he’d surely give away too much. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t ruin this amazing thing between him and Harry, that he wouldn’t change it and make it awkward or strange. They were finally in a good place now, and in spite of his feelings, Louis knew he couldn’t compromise that. They were finally good. Things finally felt right. He wasn’t going to let himself ruin that.

“Liam,” Louis said suddenly, wanting to subject changed, wanting to put himself off the spot, “How are things going with that cute girl from your Literature class? I don’t think I’ve heard you mention her lately.”

“She’s dating the kid Stephen who works in the library now,” Liam frowned slightly, “But it is what it is. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess. What about you, Zayn?” Liam turned to Zayn, “There was that boy in your figure drawing class, wasn’t there. Oh what was his name...Zachary! Anything come through from that?”

“Nah,” Zayn shook his head, “That’s okay though. What about you, H?” Zayn turned to Harry, “You’ve been here awhile now. Anyone special you’ve got your eye on?”

Louis felt his stomach dip and he swore to god he was going to murder Zayn for asking that. Harry shifted slightly next to Louis before clearing his throat and saying - 

“Um, not really. No. I don’t really...I don’t really date around. Or at least I haven’t in awhile. I think if I’m going to be with someone again, I want it to be something real with them. Something permanent. And maybe it’s naive, but I feel like I will just know it without having to date around. If I’m going to pursue someone, it’ll be someone I feel will be worth pursuing. No casual flings or dating around. When it’s the right person, I’ll just know it.”

“And what’s that right person like?” Liam asked.

“Well...someone who is like...both a home and an adventure…”

“Oh, so like an RV,” Louis teased, trying to lessen the tension he felt suddenly surround the air around him. He was being a shit, he knew. But the air around him suddenly felt so thick, so tight. He couldn’t stand it, the feeling of strangling from nothing.

A bright pink blush stained Harry’s cheeks, “No…” he murmured slowly.

“Food’s here!” Niall exclaimed cheerfully as the waitress appeared with their plates on a round tray. Louis let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. Harry picked at his chips as soon as his plate was placed in front of him, his brows furrowed in concentration and Louis could tell his teasing had maybe upset him a tad.

“Hey,” Louis poked Harry’s cheek where his dimple hid, drawing it out from it’s hiding place as Harry smiled involuntarily, “it’s not a bad thing, Hazza. RVs make great boyfriends. You can go on so many adventures with them, and hey - you never have to worry about what to buy them for anniversaries,” to prove he wasn’t maliciously teasing, Louis wrapped his arm around Harry and tickled where his hand rested at his flank.

Harry yelped and swatted Louis’ hand away, “Menace,” he mumbled, a smile on his face.

They ate their food between bantering and gentle teasing here and there. Louis couldn’t shake the smile from his face if he tried. It felt good and right, the five of them together like this. Four of his favorite people in the entire world were with him, eating and laughing and enjoying themselves. Louis really couldn’t ask for much else better. And maybe it was just all the emotions barreling into him at once, but Louis just couldn’t help himself when Harry told the lamest story ever about his next door neighbor’s pet turtle and in response, Louis sat up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Harry blushed probably all the way down to his toes inside his boots if his cheeks and neck were anything to go off of. Louis returned to nibbling his patty melt, and neither of them said anything of it.

\----

Louis loved everything about Halloween. He loved all the horror movies that were aired on television, he loved the endless bags of candy at Tesco, and he loved everything that now seemed to come in pumpkin-flavored. He truly loved everything about Halloween, but his favorite thing ever about Halloween were the famous Halloween parties they always threw at their house. Ever since they all lived together, annual Halloween parties became the big thing to look forward to. They always invited all their friends, and there was always way too much alcohol and too loud music and too many people in lame costumes; and it was always the highlight of Louis’ autumn.

This year was different though, because this year they had Harry - Harry who went all out for all holidays. It wasn’t surprising at all that he came home one day from pound land with about a dozen bags filled with Halloween decorations and insisted they all put on a Spooky Halloween Playlist on Spotify and help decorate. As fun as preparing for their parties always was, Louis didn’t think anything could beat dancing around to Purple People Eater while hanging black and orange streamers with Liam, Niall, Zayn, and Harry. 

Harry was so excited for the party. He was practically bursting at the seams for it, and watching how excited he was only made Louis even more excited himself. He could hardly wait for Harry to experience it all. He’d been talking it up to him for weeks - telling him all the craziest stories too; about how Niall had stripped down to nothing and had gone streaking around the house in just a pumpkin mask, how Liam had beat him at beer pong and how he was determined to restore his title as rightful champion. All of it. And Harry lapped it all up with glistening, wide, green eyes. 

Which was what made it so terribly tragic that the Friday night of their party, Harry had fallen ill.

It didn’t come on at first, and if it had, he’d done a good job at hiding it for the first part of the day. Then evening rolled around, and the guys broke off to get dressed in their respective costumes - Louis and Zayn as members of KISS, Niall as Gordon Ramsay, Liam as Batman, and Harry as Miley Cyrus during her infamous VMA performance. But when Louis and Zayn had come out of the bathroom from doing their makeup, Harry was curled up on the couch looking more than just a little miserable.

“Hazza,” Louis crouched down beside him, running his fingers through Harry’s hair, “What’s wrong, babe?” 

Harry’s face was pale and flushed and his forehead was sticky and glistening with sweat. 

“It’s nothing,” Harry sniffled, “Just a bit of a cold. It’s not so bad, I promise. I just...the cold medicine hasn’t kicked in yet. I’ll be fine though. Once the medicine kicks in, I’ll be right as rain.”

“Hazza,” Louis’ brows drew together worriedly, “I really don’t think you should push yourself. You don’t look so good and…”

“Gee, thanks,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Not what I meant,” it was Louis’ turn to roll his eyes, and if Harry wasn't ill, Louis would have probably pinched his nipple for being a pain, “Are you sure you’re up for a big party? I don’t want you to push yourself and make yourself even worse. Exams are coming up in a few weeks and…”

“I’ve been looking forward to this all month practically,” Harry’s glassy eyes filled with tears and Louis could see his lip shake just slightly. Honestly, it broke his heart. He knew how excited Harry had been for this party. To miss out on it would destroy him. But Louis also knew he couldn’t put himself through a late night of drinking and junk food and loud music and loud people. Not before exams anyway, and not feeling like he did. 

“I know, baby,” Louis frowned, racking his brain for something that might make this right, “I have an idea!” He said finally, “What do you say that you and me hole up in your room for the night? We steal one of the pizzas Liam’s ordered and one of the massive bowls of candy and hang out in your room in your bed eating junk and watching horror movies on Netflix. Just us. It’ll be fun, I promise. It won’t be a huge party, but we can have our own fun together. And you won’t be around all the people and all the loud music.”

“But...you’ll miss out on your own party,” Harry frowned, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to have to miss out on your party, Lou. You love this thing. You’ve been raving about it for weeks!”

“You know what I love?” Louis asked, raising a brow that he hoped was as serious and commanding as he intended it to be. Harry shook his head and Louis continued, running his fingers through Harry’s hair as he said, “You, Hazza. And that’s what’s important to me - you and your health. Not a silly party. We can throw other parties. But tonight...tonight’s nothing. Tonight, all I want to do is curl up in bed with you and watch scary movies and poke you at all the scary bits and tease the shit out of you every time you jump. What do you say?”

Harry bit his lip, thinking it over, a small smile spreading across his face from behind his front teeth, “Alright,” he caved, “Yeah...yeah that sounds good.”

“Good,” Louis smiled, ruffling Harry’s curls just a bit, “Come on then. Let’s go get some extra blankets set up.”

Louis helped Harry up off the couch and together, they grabbed several of the softest, cuddliest blankets they could find in the linen closet before heading to Harry’s room to set them up. Louis ordered Harry into bed and set about laying the blankets out on the bed, over Harry’s lap.

“I could help with that, you know,” Harry said, rolling his eyes as Louis fluffed his pillow up from behind him.

“Hush you,” Louis scolded, “You are to sit there and relax and not move until I come back from changing. You’re in your pajamas, and that’s just not fair. I’m gonna change real quick and tell the guys we’ll be MIA tonight. Then I’ll be right back and we’re going to have the best Halloween ever!”

Harry ducked his head to hide his smile and Louis smirked triumphantly before turning and heading out to his own room. If he was honest, he wasn’t the slightest bit disappointed at having to miss the party. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he was certain his stomach was going to lift up and fly out through his mouth from the sheer force of the butterflies inside it at the very prospect of spending a night alone with Harry in bed, cuddled up and watching movies together. 

“Where’s H?” Liam asked as Louis came out of his room in his joggers and Van Halen t-shirt, “And why are you dressed like that?”

“Haz is sick tonight,” Louis pouted slightly for emphasis, “And so he and I are going to hang out in his room and watch horror movies together. Sorry, Lima. I’m on important best mate duties. I’ll just have to beat your arse at beer pong another time, lad.”

“In your dreams, Tommo,” Liam grinned, “Tell H to feel better.”

“Will do. Oh, and we’re going to be stealing a pizza.”

“That’s quite alright. Sorry you have to miss out on the party though.”

“Eh,” Louis shrugged, “It is what it is, right? Besides, I have a full night of cuddling up with Haz and teasing him about being scared during a horror movie marathon. What could be better than that?”

“Are you sure that’s all you’re going to be doing in there?” Zayn teased, “Maybe we should send in a chaperone to check on you every few minutes or so…”

Louis twisted his nipple.

When he returned to Harry, he had a box of pizza and a massive bag of candy in tow. Harry was still propped up on the bed, scrolling through the horror movies in the Netflix catalog. He turned when he heard his door open and upon seeing Louis, his eyes lit up.

“Hey you,” Louis kicked the door shut behind him, “I come bearing all the essentials to help you get over that nasty cold!”

“And what’re those?” Harry asked.

“Pizza, candy, and me, of course,” Louis grinned, setting the food down on the mattress before crawling up beside Harry.

“Of course,” Harry laughed, “Alright, you. What do you recommend for our first movie then?”

“Hmm,” Louis crawled under the blankets beside Harry, “If I had to pick, I’d say the first Saw.”

“Louis, no!” Harry cried, “Absolutely not. I draw the line at Saw. No Saw movies.”

“Baby,” Louis teased, snuggling closer to him, “Alright, fine. No Saw. What about Room 1408? It’s about a writer to spends a night in a haunted hotel room trying to prove that it’s not really haunted at all.”

“Okay, that one.”

Louis pulled up the movie and pressed PLAY. They began to eat their pizza and eventually wound up tangled together. Louis might have underestimated how scary of a movie it was. Honestly, it was probably scarier than Saw, given that Saw was more violence and gore than anything actually terrifying. Harry cuddled closer against him, and Louis wrapped his arms tighter around him. Any thoughts of tickling him and teasing him went right out the window, and Louis had to admit, cuddling with him was just as much out of his own fear than Harry’s. But at this point, they were both invested in the movie and neither made any comment of changing it to something with a happier tone.

“What the fuck, Louis!” Harry shouted at the end of the movie, shoving Louis off him, “That was the worst thing ever! It wasn’t even all that scary, just depressing! And what the fuck was up with him having to lose his daughter all over again! That was horrible!”

“I’m sorry!” Louis couldn’t help but laugh as Harry began half-heartedly swatting at him, “I’m sorry! I might have underestimated it just a tad. It’s been a very long time since I last saw it, okay?”

“No! No, not okay! I’m picking the next movie. You’ve lost all movie-picking privileges here.”

“I swear to god, H,” Louis giggled, trying to squrim away from Harry’s blows, “if you make me watch something lame like Halloweentown…”

“Oh you’ll what?” Harry was giggling now too at this point, still swatting at Louis, “You just made me sit through that monstrosity! I’m sorry, but I think you deserve to sit through something of my picking just for that!”

“Okay, okay! Stop hitting!” Louis rolled over and grabbed Harry’s wrists in his hands, “Jeeze, you slap worse than my sister!”

“Good to know,” Harry smirked wickedly.

“You’re supposed to be resting, you know,” Louis rolled his eyes, letting go of Harry’s wrists, “Not hitting your best mate who is, out of the goodness of his heart, spending his Halloween taking care of you.”

“Oh hush, I didn’t exactly hear you complaining earlier,” Harry pulled Louis against him, “When you were all ‘I love you and I care about you and your health over some silly party.’”

“Oi, don’t you use my words against me, H.”

“Don’t make me make you sit through Halloweentown.”

Louis pouted. Harry reached for the remote and began to scroll through the movie options. Just as he was about to click on Cabin in The Woods, he began to cough. Louis hated seeing him like this, doubled over and coughing so hard that Louis could practically feel it in his own chest. He instinctively ran his fingers through Harry’s curls as Harry’s coughing finally began to subside.

“Oh, baby,” Louis frowned, “I am so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry reached for his cup of water, “I’ll be fine. It’s just a cold. It’ll pass in a few days.”

“But still,” Louis shook his head, scratching his nails lightly at Harry’s scalp, “I don’t like seeing you sick. I only want you to feel well and happy and good at all times.”

“Says the arsehole who made me sit through a man losing his daughter to cancer and then losing her a second time to demonic hotel room.”

“Oi!” Louis reached to pinch Harry’s nipple - sick or not, he deserved it.

Harry squealed and swatted at his hand, “Hey, I’m sick here. You’re supposed to be coddling me, not pinching me.”

“Coddling you, eh?” Louis raised a brow, “Alright then. Come here,” he held open his arms for Harry to cuddle into. Louis wrapped his arms tightly around Harry and placed a gentle kiss to his temple, “This better, love?”

“Much,” Harry sighed, tucking his head under Louis’ chin and nuzzling close, “Thanks, Lou.”

“Of course, baby. Let’s start the movie, okay.”

“Okay,” Harry pressed PLAY on the remote and nestled back into Louis’ embrace. Louis couldn’t help but reach up and give his nipple a final pinch. Harry jolted and smacked at Lois again, “Sorry!” Louis giggled, “Last one, to get it out of my system. I promise.”

They watched the movie tucked against each other, Louis the big spoon to Harry’s little spoon. Louis carded his fingers through Harry’s curls, scratched at his scalp, and drew little shapes with his fingertips across Harry’s back and shoulder blades. About halfway through the movie, Harry grew quiet and still, his breathing softer and gentler. Louis peered over Harry’s shoulder to check, and sure enough, he was fast asleep. Louis turned off the television, and reached over to shut off the lamp on Harry’s nightstand before laying back down against the pillows. He pulled Harry down with him, wrapping the blankets tighter around them. He nuzzled his nose against Harry’s back, wrapping his arms around Harry’s middle. He laid there still and quiet, taking in the sleeping boy in his arms. Harry’s breathing was soft, but there was the occasional sniffle here and there. Louis was thankful that the cold medicine had made him sleepy enough to get some peaceful rest. He gently ran his fingers along the soft pooch of Harry’s tummy. Everything about this moment felt perfect. Louis debated pinching himself just to check and make sure this wasn’t just the best dream he’d had in forever. It wasn’t just a dream though. Harry was really asleep in his arms, and it was everything Louis could have ever prayed for in the last five years.

Harry being in his arms felt right, felt perfect. It felt like home. And it wasn’t long at all before Louis’ own eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep, holding his boy in his arms. 

In the morning, Louis awoke to a faint dampness on his shoulder. Harry had rolled over in his sleep and was still asleep with his face tucked into Louis’ shoulder. A little stream of drool had made its way onto Louis’ t-shirt. If it had been any of the other boys, Louis would have surely kicked them awake and taken the piss out of them for it. But this was Harry, sick, sleeping, beautiful, gorgeous Harry. And Louis simply held him a little tighter, reaching up to scratch at the base of his scalp.

Harry stirred slightly, eyes blinking awake. When he realized he’d drooled on Louis, he attempted to pull back in embarrassment, but Louis gently cradled the back of his head in his hand, keeping him from going anywhere.

“Oh gross,” Harry whined, “Louis, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shh,” Louis soothed, moving his hand to Harry’s back and rubbing soft circles through the fabric of his Rolling Stones t-shirt, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, baby. Nothing at all. How do you feel, darling? Did you get some good rest?”

“I feel a bit better, yeah. Thank you, Lou. Thank you for last night...and for...for everything.”

“What do you mean, baby? You don’t have to thank me. I’m always here for you. You know that.”

“I do. It’s just…” the words seemed to get lost on the tip of his tongue, “I don’t know. Thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome. But really, Hazza. You don’t have to thank me at all. Do you want to wake up now, or go back to sleep for a bit? If you want to sleep a bit more, I can get up and start some tea for you. Or we can just lay here together a bit longer.”

Harry shifted slightly, and suddenly a bright blush stained his cheeks. His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Louis asked gently.

“N-nothing. It’s just um...uh...do you think you could um...could you give me a moment alone.”

“Of course...oh!” Louis’ eyes widened at the sudden realization of what Harry was trying to say, and why he’d scooted away from him so suddenly.

“Yeah,” Harry’s blush deepened and he tried to hide his face in his own shoulder.

“Hey now,” Louis kept his voice as gentle as he could, “You’re fine, love. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, okay. It happens to all of us, alright.” Harry still was hiding his face, and that just wouldn’t do. Louis tucked his fingers under Harry’s chin and forced him to meet his eyes. Harry’s green eyes were wide and the blush on his cheeks only deepened as he met Louis’ gaze, “It’s alright, love. Really,” Louis brushed his thumb along Harry’s jaw, “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

Harry smiled tightly, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes and his dimple didn’t dig as deeply as usual, “Thanks, Lou. I’m sorry about this.”

“Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for, Hazza. In fact…” Louis’ heart began to race. He couldn’t believe he was about to say what was on the tip of his tongue. He knew it was probably stupid. He knew it risked everything he’d finally gotten to share with Harry. But maybe it was the fact that he’d been lucky enough to spend the night with Harry that gave him the confidence or the stupidity to ask, “...I could help you with that if you want me to.”

“What do you mean?” Harry’s brows furrowed together.

“I could help you,” Louis spoke slower, spoke softer, “with that.”

“Louis…”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Louis was quick to explain, “Just...I could help you. With that.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything?”

“No. Not if you don’t want it to. It can just be two lads helping each other out. Just a lad helping out his best mate. I just…” Louis took a breath, scratching at his brow before saying, “...I really want to.”

“You do?” Harry asked, his eyes growing a bit wider.

“Yeah, Haz. Yeah, of course.”

“I...I don’t want it to mean nothing though,” Harry admitted, lowering his gaze, “I just...I don’t want it to be nothing, Lou.”

“Okay.”

“I just...I don’t want to be just like some hookup.”

“Hey,” Louis frowned, reaching out to run his hands through Harry’s hair again, “You are never just some hookup, Hazza. You never could be just some hookup. You’re you, and you’re beautiful and amazing and it’s me, love. It’s me. And when I said it didn’t have to mean anything, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it wouldn’t have to change anything between us. We can still be best mates. I just...I really want to suck you off right now, okay? But it won’t change anything between us. It’ll still be us, you and me, H. Okay?”

“Jesus,” Harry hissed.

“But like...if that makes you uncomfortable or something, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“No! No. It’s...it’s alright,” Harry nodded carefully, “Um...if I’m honest...I really want you to suck me off right now.”

Louis chuckled, “Well, glad the feeling’s mutual then.”

“Very mutual,” Harry breathed, eyes locked onto Louis’.

“Can I...can I touch you?” Louis asked gently. 

Harry nodded.

Louis took a breath. He’d done this many times before, this wasn’t anything new. But it was. It was because this was Harry. And he needed it to be special. He had no idea what he was doing right now. Why did he even think this was a good idea? He had been too scared to admit his feelings for Harry in fear that it’d change things between them. What logic was this then, to think that a blow job wouldn’t change things? But in that moment, Louis couldn’t think about that. All he could think about was making Harry feel good, making Harry feel special - taking care of Harry in the best ways possible. That’s all that mattered to him in this moment - making Harry feel good.

Louis pulled the blankets down from them as he knelt up beside Harry. He gently pushed the hem of the Rolling Stones t-shirt up around Harry’s ribs before reaching the waistband of Harry’s joggers. Louis took a breath, running his fingertips lightly above the waistband. Harry’s stomach dipped at the touch, his breathing growing a bit more ragged. Louis could see him straining even against the loose fabric of the basketball shorts. His hips bucked as Louis teased him through the cotton joggers.

“Lou…” Harry whined, “Please.”

“Shh,” Louis soothed, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Don’t you worry. I’ve got you and I’m going to take such good care of you. Gonna make you feel so, so good, H,” he continued to tease his fingertips over the head of Harry’s cock through the cotton. Harry was whining, his hips struggling to remain still. Louis felt drunk, drunk off the noises coming from the boy below him, drunk off the reactions he was drawing out of him with every little touch. 

“What do you need, baby?” Louis asked, just to make him whine a bit higher, “Tell me what you need, daring? Do you need me to take these off, huh?” Louis snapped the waistband against Harry’s skin, leaving a red line against his tummy, “Is that what you need, baby?”

“Y-yes,” Harry gasped, “Please, Louis. Please. I...I need…”

“I know, I know, darling,” Louis smiled, pressing a soft kiss right below Harry’s belly button before sliding the joggers down his legs. Harry helped in kicking them off and to the floor. Louis took a deep breath as he saw Harry’s cock laying flush and heavy against his stomach. Louis felt dizzy and drunk and fuzzy all over. He still couldn’t believe he was really doing this - that they were really doing this. There should have been a thousand alarm bells going off in his head, but there weren’t. There should have been something twisting in the pit of his stomach, telling him that this was wrong and that they shouldn’t be doing this. But there was nothing. In fact, Louis felt none of that - none of the guilt, none of the premonitions that this was a bad thing. Instead, all he could feel was how right everything felt. Nothing about this felt wrong. Nothing about this felt like a mistake. He stared down at Harry, beautiful, gorgeous Harry, and felt nothing apart from complete adoration for the boy beneath him. 

“Hey,” Louis said.

“Hey,” Harry breathed back.

“I love you,” Louis said.

“I love you too,” Harry answered, without a moment’s hesitation, without a moment’s question. 

It was all Louis needed to hear before swallowing him down. 

“No one likes blowjobs, that’s why they’re called jobs” is how the saying goes. And normally, Louis didn’t mind giving blowjobs, but they weren’t something he absolutely delighted in. This time was different though. This time, Louis reveled in the feeling of Harry hitting the back of his throat, reveled in the thought of his voice being completely wrecked on account of this, reveled in the whining and gasping and pleading spilling from Harry’s lips. 

Suddenly, Harry was coming down the back of Louis’ throat. Louis swallowed him down with ease, working him through his orgasm with his hand. Once Harry had finished his orgasm, Louis gave a little kitten lick to his cock, just to make him wince and hiss. He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand before working his way back up the mattress to lay next to Harry against the pillows.

“How was that?” Louis asked, his throat sore and wrecked.

“Absolutely perfect. Jesus Christ, Louis.”

Louis preened at the compliment, “Good. Wanted to make you feel good.”

“You made me feel good,” Harry’s breathing was still ragged and his stomach was still clenching as he said, “You made me feel so, so good, Lou.”

“Well, that was the idea, love,” Louis smirked, tapping his finger to the head of Harry’s cock.

Harry hissed again, shoving his hand away, “Lou,” he plead, “I’m...I’m sensitive.”

“I know, pumpkin,” Louis grinned devilishly, “That’s why I did it.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “You’re going to be the death of me, Tomlinson.”

“I don’t hear you complaining, Styles.”

Harry rolled his eyes again, “Come rest with me, please. I don’t want to get out of bed just yet. Let’s just sleep a bit more, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Louis pulled Harry back against him, slotting his back against his chest, “Just get some more rest, Hazza. We don’t have to wake up until you want. Besides, if we get up, the lads might try to wrangle us into cleaning up the remnants of the party. Which, no thank you.”

Harry chuckled sleepily, “Then let’s never leave this bed.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Louis pressed his nose against Harry’s shoulder blade as his fingertips lightly played across the pooch of Harry’s tummy, “Let’s just lie here forever.”

“Forever and ever,” Harry answered, his voice syrupy with sleep.

“Ever and ever,” Louis repeated, eyes growing heavy.

Of course, forever wasn’t a reality. What was a reality was the sounds of Liam shouting a string of curse words and the sounds of trash being tossed into plastic garbage bags. Louis winced, rolling over to check the clock on his phone. It was just after twelve, they had managed to fall back asleep for another three hours. But now, it was time to wake up and face the realities of the world.

“I suppose we should wake up now,” Harry sighed, “And make sure Liam hasn’t murdered Niall or summat.”

“Ugh,” Louis groaned, “I suppose you’re right. Okay, let’s get up then.”

They rolled out of bed together and helped to pull up the blankets of the bed together. Neither said a word of what had happened three hours earlier. Instead, they both checked themselves in the mirror hanging on the back of Harry’s door, making sure there were no visible signs of what had happened, though neither of them voiced that. 

“You’ve got my face paint in your hair,” Louis noted.

“Oh,” Harry reached up to touch the white stain in his brown curls, “It’ll wash out, right? Not like it’s green hair dye, hmm?”

“Don’t be a shithead or else I won’t make you tea with egg on toast,” Louis threatened.

Harry mimicked locking his lips and Louis giggled at how ridiculous he was. Nothing felt different. Nothing felt wrong. Nothing between them had changed at all, really. They were still just Harry and Louis.

“Come on then,” Louis nodded towards the door.

When they came out into the living room, they were greeted by dozens of red plastic cups littering the floor, the black and orange streamers torn. There were empty boxes of pizza everywhere.

“Hey you two!” Niall nodded towards them - he was holding open a large black trash bag and Liam was attempting to put the trash from the floor and coffee table into it, “You missed one ‘ell of a party!”

“It was sick,” Zayn came around from the kitchen with a cup of black coffee in his hands.

“Looks like it,” Louis eyed a slice of cold pizza laying on the open slot of the DVD player.

“How are you feeling, Sunshine?” Liam asked.

“Much, much better, thanks, Liam,” Harry smiled. When none of the lads were looking, he gave a shy kick to Louis’ ankle. Louis grinned.

“That’s good,” Liam said, not glancing up as he struggled to fit a pizza box into the garbage bag, “Niall, I said hold it still! I can’t put trash in if you keep moving it about like that!”

“Sorry, Li,” Niall winced.

“What kinda trouble did you two get up to last night?” Zayn smirked over the brim of his mug, “H has white face paint all in his hair.”

“Oh you know,” Harry smirked, moving to help pick up some garbage, “Just some crazy hot sex.”

Louis choked on his own saliva, meanwhile Harry was just smirking like the cheeky little shit he was.

“Ha,” Zayn sat his mug down to help Niall hold open the garbage bag, “Good one.”

Louis bit the inside of his cheek as he ducked into the kitchen to get started on Harry’s egg on toast. Harry found him not too long after the egg was just starting to cook up. 

“Hey you,” he said, coming up behind Louis at the counter.

“Have half a mind to eat this meself,” Louis rolled his eyes, “especially after that little remark.”

Harry just giggled and pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek, “Oh, you love me,” he said breezily before heading back into the living room to help clean up. Louis turned from the stove to watch him go; the words, “more than you could even know,” playing on his tongue. 

\----

Things hadn’t really changed after that morning. They were still Louis and Harry - they still bantered and teased like crazy, Harry still made Louis’ heart race whenever he was around. They still had their late night conversations, and had movie nights tucked up against each other on the couch. They never discussed what happened the morning after Halloween again, and nothing like it had ever happened again. Louis had started to convince himself that he’d simply dreamed up the whole thing. There were times he considered bringing it up, considered asking Harry about it. But he kept quiet for the same reasons he kept quiet about his feelings for him. He didn’t want to run the risk of bringing it up changing things between them. Maybe it was a good thing they didn’t bring it up again. Maybe it was a sign that they shouldn’t.

It was the week before Christmas when everything came to a head. Harry had called his mum and had spent the most of a night talking with her and opening up to her about everything he’d been through. They’d finally made their peace, and he was going home to visit for the holidays. Louis was happy for that, he was. But there was an odd tension that he hadn’t felt with Harry before. As the Christmas holiday grew closer, things between them began to grow more and more tense. They were still the same as they’d been, but the air between them felt just a little tighter.

Louis found himself looking forward to his own holiday and going back home to Doncaster to visit his mum and siblings just for the sake of getting away for a little bit. He had no idea what was going on between him and Harry, but it made him uncomfortable and he didn’t like it at all. He didn’t think it was the blowjob, because neither of them had ever mentioned it again. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. The holidays were supposed to be happy and joyful, and yet he felt none of these things. The only emotion he felt was sadness, and Louis couldn’t really explain why that was.

It’d started when Harry had announced he was going home for the holiday. Louis knew he should be happy for him, and he was to an extent. But as he was hugging Harry and telling him how good a thing that was, and how he was happy for him, he couldn’t shake the twinge of something quite the opposite in the pit of his stomach. He spent the next few days trying to avoid Harry for some reason. He couldn’t explain it to himself, much less to anyone else. He just knew that being around Harry suddenly made him feel sad, and not being around him made him even sadder. 

Nothing felt right, and Louis hated it. He hated feeling just a constant state of discomfort. It made him grouchy and on-edge. He tried to avoid everyone as best he could so as to not bring down their excited moods. He didn’t want to ruin anyone’s holiday, especially Harry’s. So he worked his hardest to keep his distance so that his bad mood wouldn’t wear off on the others. 

It was finally time to head off to their perspective families. Liam, Niall, and Zayn were headed off to the airport. Niall was going back to Ireland, Zayn was going to the states to meet up with his parents at his aunt’s house, and Liam was visiting his grandmother. Harry and Louis were the only two that would be taking buses to their families. They gathered outside the front of the house, standing in the snow to say their goodbyes. They all hugged and wished each other a happy holiday. Liam, Zayn, and Niall loaded up in Niall’s car to head to the airport. It was just Louis and Harry now, waiting for their cab to come take them to the bus station.

Louis felt the air suddenly thicken around them as it was just the two of them alone for the first time since things had started to change. Harry was shuffling his feet in the snow, kicking the toe of his boot through the slush.

“You’ll ruin them if you do that,” Louis said, it came out harsher than he’d intended. He folded his arms around himself in a poor attempt to keep warm, “Where’s the damn cab anyway?” He asked, more to himself than to anyone.

“What’s your problem lately?” Harry frowned, turning to face Louis, “For the last like week and a half, you’ve been weird. I don’t like it, and I don’t want to leave for a week until you tell me what’s up and we can make this right. You’ve barely spoken to anyone all week - you’ve barely even looked at me all week. I don’t want to leave like this, Lou. So please tell me what I did so I can fix it.”

And that one sentence completely broke him.

“No, no, Haz. You...you didn’t do anything. I don’t know why I’m being like this. I don’t like it either, okay. I just...I’ve been in a shitty mood for the last week and I don’t know why. But it’s nothing you did, baby. Please trust me on that. It’s nothing you did at all.”

Harry frowned as if not quite believing him, “Are...are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’re fine, Hazza. It’s just me. It’s just me being stupid.”

“You aren’t being stupid, Lou. I just...I want to know what’s on your mind. Ever since I told you I was going home for the holiday, you’ve been odd. Is something wrong between us? Are...are you upset with me? Or do you...do you not want me around?”

Jesus, Louis felt as if the walls were crumbling down around him, “Harry, no. Please. It’s not you. And I’m not upset with you. And of course I want you around. I always, always want you around.”

“Good,” Harry kicked at the snow again, wrapping his arms around himself, “Because I want you around. And I want to be around you. I always want to be around you. And I feel like you’re pushing me away, Lou. And I hate that. I hate that you’re pushing me and there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t know why you are. But it sucks. Especially because we’re going to be apart for the first time since I moved in with you and I don’t want our last moments before that to be...to be this. I don’t like that, Lou. I don’t like that at all.”

And suddenly it was as if all the pieces had started to click into place. Louis realized then why he’d been keeping Harry at a distance. It was going to be the first time they’d be apart since Harry had moved in, and Louis was scared. Scared of them going away from each other again, scared of them being separated, scared of them not coming back together. They’d already gone away from each other once, and it’d broken them apart for five years. The fact that they’d even had a second chance had been a miracle in itself. Louis realized then how terrified he was. He was terrified that leaving Harry a second time would mean that’d be it. And that this time there would be no second chance. It was a stupid fear, and he realized he was starting to sound an awful lot like Zayn. Zayn and his stupid psychology courses and his stupid analyzation of everything. But it did make a little bit of sense. Actually, it made a lot a bit of sense. Louis had been keeping Harry at a distance as some sort of self-preservation tactic. He couldn’t get hurt - at least not as bad - if he kept Harry at a distance.

“I am so, so sorry, Harry,” Louis let his arms down, “Really. I just...I was being stupid. I was. And I was scared. And it was stupid and I was stupid and I’m sorry for pushing you away, and I’m sorry if it hurt you.”

“What do you mean?” Harry’s brows drew together, “What were you scared of, Lou?”

Louis took a sharp breath before answering, “Of...of losing you again.”

“What do you mean, Louis? Why would you think you’d lose me?”

“Because….because the last time we went our separate ways, I never saw you again. And you broke up with me. And that was it. And that would have been it if you hadn’t shown up on my doorstep four months ago,” Louis blamed the cold on the tears forming in his eyes as he spoke the words out loud, “And I don’t want to lose you again. Harry Styles, if I lose you again, it’ll fucking kill me.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but just as he was about to, the cab pulled up into the driveway. Louis didn’t give him a chance to answer. He’d already said too much as it was, and he didn’t want to make things any worse than they were. Instead, he greeted the cab driver and helped him load the two suitcases into the trunk of the cab. Harry had slid into the backseat by the time they’d shut the trunk. Louis felt physically ill. He had no idea why he’d said those things. He just knew he’d blown it. Things were going to be different now. He’d ruined everything. Why did he have to go and open his big, dumb, stupid mouth like that. He was an idiot. An absolute idiot.

He slid into the backseat and the cab driver backed out of the driveway. Louis stared out the window, unable to look in Harry’s direction. Suddenly, he felt Harry’s large hand wrap over his and he glanced down to see Harry’s hand covering his own. They didn’t say a word as the cab drove to the bus station. Harry just squeezed Louis’ hand in his, and Louis squeezed back.

Once the cab pulled into the bus station, they paid the driver and got out to collect their bags. They thanked the driver and Louis took a deep breath. This was it. This was goodbye. And realistically, he knew it wasn’t goodbye for good. Realistically he knew that it was just for a week, and then they’d be back home together again. But his anxiousness was telling him otherwise. The stupid little voice in the back of his head was telling him this was it, and that being apart from each other would ruin them just as it had the first time when they were teens. Louis felt nauseous.

“I should find my bus,” he said.

“Louis, wait,” Harry reached out and grabbed his hand, “Please just give me a moment, okay? Please let me say something first.”

Louis froze, not moving a muscle. This was going to be it. Harry was going to tell him that whatever was between them was over and done. Louis felt as though there was lead weight in the pit of his stomach.

“I want you to listen to me and listen good, Louis William Tomlinson,” Harry’s grip on his hand tightened, “You are not going to lose me. You are not going to lose me now or ever. I know the last time we said our goodbyes, that was it. I know that I promised we’d make it work and I know that I was the one that ended things. But I didn’t want to, Louis. I didn’t. And I am so, so happy that I’ve found you again. I am so happy we’ve been given another chance here. You...you have always been it for me, Tomlinson. I could never imagine myself with anyone else. I can never imagine myself with anyone else. It’s you. It’s always been you. You are the most important person in the entire world to me. And these last four months with you have been such an incredible gift. But you are a gift I’m not letting go of, okay? I am never going to let you go. I’m never going to let us go.”

“What...what do you mean?” Louis’ eyes scanned over Harry’s face. He felt dizzy as he tried to process Harry’s words.

“I mean, you’re it for me, Louis. It’s you. It’s always been you. And I am not going to let you go again. I mean I love you, Louis. I love you so, so much. And I know the last time we were in this position, we thought it destroyed us. But we were just kids, Lou. And we weren’t in control of what happened to us. But we’re in control now. And it didn’t destroy us. It didn’t. Because somehow fate thought we deserved another go. For some reason, fate had other plans. I knew when I was fifteen that I was made for you, Louis. And I know at twenty I am still made for you. Just as I’ll know at forty, fifty, eighty, a hundred that I am made for you. It’s just one week, baby. One week and then we’ll be back together again. One week and if you say yes, I’ll take you out on lovely second first date. One week, angel. We can do this, I know we can. I’ve been anxious too, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that what we have is something so special, too special, to just let one week effect.”

Louis felt his whole world shift under his feet, “Hazza...Hazza...I don’t...I don’t understand. What are you saying, Harry?”

“I’m saying I love you. And if you need me to draw you a fucking diagram here in the snow I will. I love you, Louis. And I am in love with you. And this is just one week, baby. One week and we’re going to be fine. More than fine.”

“God, Harry,” Louis gasped, “If you don’t come here in the next two seconds I swear to God…”

Harry laughed and collided into Louis’ opened arms. They stood there in the snow, holding one another tightly as if never wanting to let go. 

“I love you,” Louis said finally, “I love you so, so much, Hazza. I just...I was so scared. I was so happy to have been given another chance with you. I was scared that if I admitted how I felt, and you didn’t feel the same, it’d change things between us. And being with you these last months have been the happiest I’ve been in such a long time. I didn’t want to ruin that. I was so scared I’d ruin that.”

“No baby, no,” Harry held him tighter in his arms, “You could never ruin it. But just to clarify, you do feel the same, right? The feeling is mutual, right?”

“The feeling is mutual,” Louis confirmed, “God, is it mutual!”

Harry laughed, pulling back slightly, “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. So, so much,” Louis’ eyes locked onto Harry’s. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, a thousand things he wanted to do. Instead though, a loud voice over the intercom announced the arrival of his bus. Louis closed his eyes and let out a disappointed sigh, “That’s me.”

“You should go meet your bus. I wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

“Can I kiss you first?” Louis asked, his eyes landing on Harry’s lips, “Please?”

When Harry replied, “No,” it felt like a slap.

“What the fuck, H?” Louis pulled back, “What do you mean no?”

Harry pulled him back into a hug, holding him even tighter, “You don’t get to kiss me just yet. You can kiss me when we come home from holiday. Let that be something to look forward to. Let it be something to hold onto and give you hope. The moment we see each other again, I’m going to kiss the absolute shit out of you, Tomlinson”

“Eloquent, Styles.”

“Shut up. And you can even kiss me back. But not yet. Hold on to the fact that the next time we see each other, I’m going to completely maul you, okay.”

Louis felt his blood drain to his crotch, “Again,” he said, his voice a little tighter than before, “Eloquent.”

Harry giggled, “What can I say, I have a way with words. Now go meet your bus, angel.”

“Fine,” Louis pulled back and lifted pulled up the handle of his suitcase, “But you owe me a kiss, you dickhead.”

“Gonna give you that kiss and a thousand others in a week, princess.”

The nickname made Louis’ insides turn into absolute goo, “Gonna hold you to that, you wanker.”

Harry threw his head back and laughed, “Shoo! You’ll miss your bus. I’ll call you though. Every night.”

“Not if I call you first,” Louis stuck his tongue out at him before scurrying off to meet his bus. 

The second he got seated, he pulled out his phone to shoot off a playful message to Harry, only to see there was already an unread message there waiting for him. Louis swiped it open to read - “One week baby! We can do this!!”

Louis bit down on his smile as he typed back, “Looking forward to our reunion already ;) “

The bus pulled away from the station just as Louis caught sight of a long black coat and green beanie stepping onto his own bus. Louis couldn’t help but smile as he watched Harry get on his own bus headed to Holmes Chapel. He felt something squirm in the pit of his stomach as he pulled his phone from his pocket again and typed out - “Just saw this cutie getting on his bus. Was wearing a ridiculous long black coat and a green beanie. Had a pretty cute little arse actually ;) “

It wasn’t long before a response pinged on his phone - “If his coat was so ridiculous and long, how do you know what his arse looked like?”

Louis felt his cheeks flush and his cheeks practically ached from smiling so big as he typed back - “pretty sure I’ve seen it before. It’s a cute little bum.”

“Anything’s a cute little bum to someone with an arse like J-Lo.”

“Oi! You love this arse.”

“Quite a bit, yes.”

“You love me.”

“Also quite a bit, yes.”

Louis stared at the text on his screen until his phone screen timed-out and turned black. On the black screen, he could see the reflection of his face-splitting smile and rolled his eyes at himself. It was ridiculous, was what it was. But this was the absolute happiest he’d been in years. Maybe even since that summer he was seventeen. Everything felt soft and warm and fuzzy and comfortable. Louis leaned his head against the headrest of his seat and watched the London scenery pass by him. Everything was frost-white and silver-glowing. He pulled up Spotify on his phone and slipped his earbuds in before searching for the Christmas Songs playlist Harry had made for him the first week of December. Closing his eyes, he let himself drift into his own winter wonderland to the sound of Silent Night playing through his earbuds.

When his bus pulled up to the station at Doncaster, he looked out the window to see his usual welcome party. He could feel his cheeks flush with just a hint of embarrassment as he saw his mum, Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Doris, and Ernest waiting in their winter coats, holding up a sign that said, “WELCOME HOME LOUIS” in their hands. The littlest ones were holding balloons. It was absolutely the most ridiculous thing in the world, and even more so that they did this every time he came home. But Louis loved it and wouldn’t have them any other way.

He waited his turn to get off the bus and collect his bag before going over to greet them. He was almost toppled over by the girls as they squealed and bickered over who got to hug him and kiss him first. Louis really couldn’t complain - his sisters squabbling over who got to shower him in affection first, it really wasn’t such a bad life at all.

“Hey you,” Jay said softly, making her way through the girls to get to him, “I think we might have missed you just a smidge.”

“Missed you so much, Mum. Missed you all so, so much,” Louis hugged his mum tightly, breathing in her familiar perfume with a hint of baby formula lingering in her hair, “You have no idea!”

“I think I do, if it’s anything close to how we’ve all missed you,” Jay pressed a kiss to his forehead, “You look so good, boobear. It’s your eyes, I think. There’s something about your eyes.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Harry’s fault,” Louis admitted, falling in step with his mum as the welcome party made their way to Jay’s mini van.

“And who, might I ask, is this Harry and to what address may I send his fruit basket?”

“Mum!” Louis laughed, rolling his eyes, “You know Harry.”

“I know Harry,” Jay nodded, “If he’s the Harry who’s your roommate whom you talk about incessantly every time we speak on the phone, then yes. I know Harry. Still want to send him a fruit basket. Maybe one of those cookie bouquets. A million dollar check, maybe.”

“Mum, we don’t have a million dollars. And he doesn’t need a cookie bouquet.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to thank the boy responsible for making my gorgeous boy so happy,” Jay wrapped her arm Louis’ shoulders, “And I know you’ve spoken about him every time we talk, but tonight once the girls are all tucked in bed and it’s just you and me and a kettle of tea, I want all the juicy details.”

Louis laughed and kissed her cheek, “Of course, mum.”

\----

Louis loved being home more than most things in his life. No matter the time of year, it always smelled of cinnamon candles, and was filled with warmth. Picture frames hung on the walls and decorated every surface of decorative tables, holding photos of all the children through various stages in their lives. The fridge was covered in various finger paintings, scribblings, and good school grades. Jay had even still some of Louis’ old book reports from his school days stuck up there with pride. 

Currently, he was tucked up on the sofa by the fireplace, sipping on a cup of Yorkshire tea, watching the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. Jay had tucked the little ones into bed and was getting a refill of her own cup of tea before joining him on the couch to catch up. Louis knew that that meant him telling her all about Harry - not that he minded. He was up for telling just about anyone about the beautiful boy with the brown curls, green eyes, and dimples waiting for him. 

Louis was looking at the decorations on the tree as Jay came in, holding her own mug in her hands.

“You still use the papermache angel I made like twenty years ago,” Louis commented.

“But of course,” Jay smiled, tucking herself up on the couch beside him, “What, like I’d get rid of it? Replace it with some gorgeous thing from one of the shops that isn’t falling apart and losing some of it’s hair? Something proper, and not the one made with so much love by my beautiful boy?”

Louis smiled and leaned into her, “Oh, Mum.”

“Besides,” Jay ruffled his hair, “It wouldn’t be a proper Christmas tree without your angel on top.”

“I’ve missed you,” Louis said, pressing his forehead into her arm as he’d done countless times before as a child.

“I’ve missed you too, darling. So, so much. Now then, tell me about how you’ve been. I want to hear everything. Tell me all about the lads and about your boy. I want to know all the juicy details. Am I going to be getting grandchildren soon?”

“Mum!” Louis cried, shoving her lightly, “Not anytime soon, anyway. Jesus. We just like...made it official. Literally right before I got on the bus, we made it official. No grandkids for quite awhile, please.”

“I still can’t believe you found each other after all these years,” Jay shook her head in awe, “Like, this is the stuff romance novels are made of, darling. Fairytales and such and all that. This is something you’ll be telling my…”

“Say grandchildren one more time and I’m kicking you off this couch.”

“Is that anyway to talk to your mum?” Jay scolded playfully.

“Sorry, Mum,” Louis cuddled back against her, “It is pretty unbelievable, eh? I still can’t believe out of all the ads he could have answered, he found and answered ours.”

“Was it love at first sight?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, picking at a stray thread on the sofa, “Not quite. I mean, I know what I felt was very strong. And maybe it was love trying to come through once again. But I was just still so angry with him for what he did all those years ago. I let that cloud any feelings I might have had for him. I thought I hated him. But at the same time, I knew I didn’t. I just didn’t know what to do with him. And the more he was around, the more natural little things began to feel. Like it felt right to put my arm around him or play with his hair or just want to be close to him. But i still didn’t know what to do with that. And I was scared, mostly. Scared that if I pushed too hard, or did something to express how I felt, that I’d lose him all over again. And I couldn’t bear that thought.”

“How did it happen then?” Jay asked, stroking her hand through Louis’ hair.

“It just...it just kind of happened one day. It was like everything around him felt so intense. And we were inseparable again. And then it was Halloween and he was sick and I stayed with him in his room. At first it was just watching horror movies and cuddling, but in the morning...things kind of went on from there. But we never talked about it again after that. And it was like it’d never happened. And I thought I could just pretend it never happened. But then it was getting closer to Christmas and he was going home and I just...I kind of snapped, I guess. All the feelings I’d tried to push down for so long just bubbled up when I found out he was going home for Christmas. I realized how much I was going to miss him, and that we hadn’t been apart since that summer when we were kids. And it just freaked me out a bit. And I bottled it up and tried to push him away like the stubborn idiot I can be. And then we were waiting on the cab together to go to the bus station and I just...I finally let it all come to the surface. I told him everything, Mum. All about how I felt. About how in love with him I am and how I don’t want to lose him. And he felt the same! Feels the same! And when we get back from holiday, we’re going to make it all official and everything. And I just...I can hardly wait to get back and see him!”

“Well I still get you for this week. Then you can return to your true love, alright. But we get you this week. He can wait,” Jay laughed, holding Louis tightly in her arms, “Not letting go of you just yet.”

“Don’t want to go just yet, so you’re good,” Louis laughed, wriggling out of his mother’s grasp, “I still have a whole week to spend with you and the kids and with Dan and I cannot wait. I’ve missed you all so, so much.”

“We’ve missed you too, darling. The kids ask about you constantly, but I tell them you’re off doing very well at uni. Which I am assuming is an accurate thing to say. You are doing well, aren’t you? How did exams go? Did you ace them?”

“Not all of them,” Louis admitted, “Chemistry was difficult. I didn’t do as well in that one as the others. But my education courses are fun. I really like those a lot. And next semester, I get to take only all education courses, so that’s exciting.”

“How is Harry in school?” Jay asked, “Does he do well too?”

“He’s brilliant,” Louis gushed, “Like the most brilliant, Mum. He’s doing all these fancy photography courses and he was featured in the fall gallery showcase. So many people got to see his work, and apparently he really impressed a lot of the art community. And if he plays his cards right, he might be featured again in Spring. Which would be so awesome considering no student has ever been asked twice!”

“That’s so amazing, sweetie. What about the others? How are they? How’re Zayn’s psychology courses?”

“Good, they’re all good. Zayn is really getting into his psychology courses. Though now he thinks himself to be a bit of a psychologist already. Always trying to psychoanalyse everyone. It’s annoying, but he’s really good at it so it’s kind of cool. His new theory is that Niall eats so much to replace the hole in his heart from not having a girlfriend.”

Jay burst out into laughter, “Oh boy! And what of Liam? He’s doing well too?”

“Yeah, Mum. They’re all good.”

“And they get on well with Harry?”

“The best, honestly. It’s like he just fit in with all them from the go. Liam absolutely adores him. He’s always cuddling with him and doting on him. He always completely entertains him. Like every little thing, Liam will just do just to make Harry laugh or smile. And Niall thinks he’s just the most adorable thing in the world. Zayn took awhile to warm up to him, after everything I’ve been through with him. I mean, Zayn was the one who was there when I was a broken up mess over him back when I was seventeen.”

“I am so glad you found each other again, and that you were able to forgive him, Louis. He was so young when you fell in love. You two were right, but the timing was wrong. I am so, so thankful you get to have this chance again with each other. I haven’t seen your eyes light up this much in such a long, long time, baby. Maybe not even since you were seventeen. It’s just been so long. And he’s put that twinkle back in your eye, darling. I am so thankful for that.”

They stayed up into the early morning hours, talking about Harry and the other boys; Louis telling her stories of the adventures they’d had and the funny stories they shared between them. When the sun was just starting to creep back up over the trees outside, Jay kissed his forehead and asked him to come help her start on a full English before the others woke. And Louis treasured every minute of standing beside his Mum at the kitchen counter, preparing his favorite meal while they chatted and teased just as they had so many times when he was younger. 

He spent the next few days soaking up as much time with his family as he could before having to return to uni. It was always hard to have to say goodbye, especially to the little ones, so Louis did everything he could to soak up as much time with them as he could. They watched Christmas movies curled up together on the couch, wrapped presents together, and he even convinced Jay to let them all take over the kitchen to make a massive batch of Christmas cookies. She couldn’t possibly say no to that, and even when the counters and kids were covered in icing and flour, she couldn’t be too angry. But though spending time with his family was a blast, Louis still missed Harry achingly. He knew things would be okay, that they’d come back together again at the end of the break and all would be good between them. But at the same time, he missed him terribly. They texted off and on together, but it wasn’t enough. Louis missed him. He found himself checking his phone almost constantly until Dan made him put his phone up in his bedroom and leave it there for the remainder of the day. Louis tried to distract himself by playing with the kids, but his mind kept wandering back to Harry.

Finally though, on Christmas Eve - his birthday - he got the phone call he’d been hoping for. It was about midnight, and everyone else had gone to bed. Louis was laying in his bed, flicking through his phone and trying to keep himself busy. He hadn’t heard from Harry all day, a fact that was rather upsetting considering it was his birthday. He’d at least figured Harry would text him and wish him a happy birthday; all the other boys had. But still, there had been nothing from Harry. It had started to eat away at Louis, even though he kept busy with all the things his mum and Dan had planned for them. He’d started his day with a massive homemade breakfast before spending the day watching all his favorite movies with the kids - that were age-appropriate. And then later that evening, they had all gone out to his favorite restaurant before returning home for cake and ice cream. It’d been such a fun birthday, and just what Louis had wanted. But still the fact that he hadn’t heard a word from Harry was a little worrisome. It was his birthday! Surely Harry would have at least texted. But there had been complete radio silence on Harry’s end. And now that it was bedtime, Louis couldn’t shut his mind off. Was Harry upset with him? Why wouldn’t he have texted? Just as Louis was starting his tenth round of Tiny Wings, a phone call came through. He nearly squealed when he saw that the call was coming from Harry.

Quickly, he swiped to answer, “Hello?” He whispered, keeping his voice as quiet as he could so as to not wake the others.

He was greeted instantly with, “Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday dearest Louis...happy birthday to you!”

“Oh my god,” Louis giggled into the phone, pulling his knees up to his chest, “You’re such a dork.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to call all day. I know it’s late, but I wanted to hold off on calling until I could truly sit down and talk with you. Besides, you deserved a proper phone call on your birthday and not just a little text.”

“I was worried you’d forgotten,” Louis admitted, somewhat ashamed.

“Louis! No, never!” Harry cried, “I’d never, ever forget your birthday! I just wanted to wait until I had a chance to sit down and actually talk. I know it’s late, so I hope you don’t mind. But Gemma’s kept me up practically all night every night grilling me about school and you.”

“I hope you’ve only told her the best things,” Louis smirked.

“Of course,” Harry giggled, “I left out the parts about how you’re an annoying brat at times.”

“Oi! Is that any way to talk to me on my birthday, Styles?”

“Kinda proving my point about that annoying brat at times thing, Tomlinson.”

“I should hang up on you.”

“You wouldn’t dare. Besides, rumor has it that you’ve missed me a bit.”

“And where have you heard that rumor?”

“Boyfriend instinct.”

Louis had to bite down on his lip, “You’re so ridiculous, you do know that, right?”

“You keep me aware of that fact, yes.”

“So, are you going to give me the 411 on the surprise party the boys are planning?” Louis asked.

“You’re not getting a surprise party.”

“I always get a surprise party. Though it’s not much of a surprise when they’ve been doing this every year. But every year when we all get back from holiday, they throw a massive surprise party to make up for not being able to celebrate with me on the actual date. And as my boyfriend, you’re bound to tell me all the details that you know.”

“Louis,” Harry’s voice dropped, “You’re honestly not getting a surprise party this year when you get back.”

“Yeah, right,” Louis snorted, “You’re a terrible liar, H.”

“Fine,” Harry sighed wistfully, “Don’t believe me. You’ll find out for yourself though when you get back. Oh, and let me know when your bus is due to arrive. I’m picking you up from the station.”

“Wait, really?”

“Mmhmm. I had to convince my mum to let me go back a day early so I can come and pick you up when you get in. It took lots of persuasion on my part, but she finally agreed. Figured it’d be the proper romantic thing to do - pick you up from the station and all that.”

“I swear to God, Styles, if you come a massive bouquet of roses or summat….”

“Hush. I will romance you however I please, Tomlinson.”

“Jesus.”

“It’s just Harry.”

“Not convincing me to keep you on the line, Harold.”

“Okay, but maybe this will. I have a present for you.”

“Oh?” Louis’ interest piqued, “That so?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And just how do you plan on giving me this present over the phone?”

“Well...it’s kind of...um...are you alone?”

Louis’ eyes widened at the implication, “Harold, don’t tell me you’re giving me phone sex for my birthday gift.”

“Okay. I could always just hang up and go to bed. It is late after all…”

“Harry!”

“Okay, okay,” Harry laughed, “But really, are you alone?”

“No, Harry. I just said ‘don’t tell me you’re giving me phone sex’ in front of me nan.”

“Menace. Okay, are you in your room?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Get comfortable, okay? Lie back on the pillows.”

Louis adjusted himself back against the pillows. His heart raced as he laid back. The room was very dark, and he was very alone, and he’d never had phone sex in his life. To say he was nervous was an understatement. But then he realized how Harry must feel. After all, it was Harry who was going to be doing most of the work it seemed. Had Harry ever had phone sex before? Was he nervous? 

“Hey,” Louis said, wriggling slightly on the bed to get a bit more comfortable, “I love you.”

He could practically hear Harry’s smile through the phone, “I love you too. You comfortable?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Good. Alright, I’ve never um...I’ve never done this before so uh,” Harry paused to chuckle nervously, “bear with me, okay? If it’s terrible, I am so, so sorry…”

“Harry, it’s not going to be terrible. Jesus. You’ve got me half hard already, just FYI.”

“Jesus,” Harry breathed, “Alright. Okay. So um...lie back and uh...close your eyes. Pretend I’m there with you, okay? Just close your eyes and listen to my voice, Louis. Listen to me. I want you to pretend I am right there with you, on the bed with you. I’ve got you naked, and I’ve laid you out on the mattress for me. You’re lying there back against the pillows, perfect and lovely just for me. I’m right there with you. And I kiss you. Your lips at first, and then I move down to your jaw, your neck. You’ve got goosebumps already just from that. I give you a lovebite or two, just to mark you. Just to make you mine. And then I move down your throat, your collarbones, your chest. I cover your tattoo with kisses. And then I move down, down to your chest. I kiss over your nipples. Then I take one with my tongue and lick over it and tease it.”

“Oh my god,” Louis murmured, hand automatically going to his unclothed chest and reaching up to run his fingertips across his already-hardened nipples. He shivered as he did, his nipples one of his most sensitive of places.

“You like that, don’t you?” Harry teased, “Good. Because I keep doing that, teasing you like this. Working you up like this. Tell me, are you just as sensitive as you were when we were young?”

“Y-yeah,” Louis nodded, his voice strangled. He could feel the crotch of his joggers getting tighter around him, “Um, yeah. I am.”

“Good. Going to spend forever teasing you there until you can barely stand it anymore. And then when you’re gasping and pleading, I’ll move on from there. I’ll kiss all down your chest, your ribs, your stomach. I’ll kiss down your thighs and all down your legs. I’ll kiss your knees and your ankles. I’ll kiss every single inch of you except where you need my mouth most. I’ll drive you insane, Lou. You’ll be already so, so over-sensitive to every little touch. You’ll be shaking beneath me, begging me. And finally I’ll touch you where you need me most. I want you to do something for me, yeah?”

“Any...anything,” Louis rasped.

“Touch yourself, baby. But just a fingertip. I want you to run your fingertip along the head of your cock. Nothing more than that. Can you do that?”

“Y-yeah,” Louis stuttered. He rucked his joggers down his hips, kicking them to the foot of the bed before moving his hand to his cock. He was already painfully hard and flush against his stomach. It took all his strength to listen to Harry and obey. He wanted more than anything to take himself in his fist, but he obeyed, wanting to be good for Harry, and did as Harry instructed. He hissed into the phone at the sensation. It was too much, too, too much.

“Again,” Harry commanded.

“Harry,” Louis whined, “Please.”

“Again,” Harry repeated.

Louis took a sharp breath before running his finger over the head, dragging a bead of precome as he did so.

“I-I can’t,” he plead, “Harry, please. I can’t.”

“Shhh. Imagine I’m there with you, Louis. I run my fingertip over you just like this, over your head, over and over again. Just my fingertip. Nothing more. You’re shuddering beneath me, you’re begging and pleading. You can’t stand it. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time. But I keep doing this, over, and over again. And finally I take my thumbnail and I caress over your slit.”

“Harry, no,” Louis begged, knowing already what Harry was asking him to do.

“Louis.”

“Too much,” Louis was shaking now, his legs quivering against the duvet, sweat beading at the backs of his knees and against his forehead, “Can’t.”

“Can. You can and you will.”

“Jesus.”

“Louis.”

Louis took a sharp breath before dragging his thumb nail along his slit, dipping it against the overly-sensitive skin. He bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from letting out a scream or a moan, he wasn’t sure which. 

“Good, Lou. You’re so, so good. Just for me. So good for me. Now then, I keep teasing you like this. I run my fingernails over your head, I tease you like this. I keep you on the very edge. You can’t stand it, can you? Can you stand it, Lou?”

“N-no,” Louis shook his head, scrunching his eyes closed, “Please, Hazza. Please.”

“Do you want to come, Louis?” Harry asked so plainly, as if he couldn’t care less if Louis came or not. The thought was maddening inside him.

“Yes, oh God yes. Yes please.”

Harry chuckled into the phone and Louis swore to god he was going to punch him in the dick the second he saw him, “How badly do you want to come, Louis?”

“Jesus, Harry!” Louis shuddered, “Bad. Please, Harry. Please can I come?”

“Not yet. Keep running your fingertips over yourself. Just like that. Just like I will. Keep yourself on edge, Louis. Now then, as I’m teasing you, I move up to your chest and I tease your nipples with my tongue as I play with your cock with my fingers. You’re shaking like mad, you can hardly stand it. You’ve got tears in your eyes. You’re shaking so hard, Lou. And you’re so beautiful. So beautiful and so wet for me. Tears on your cheeks, sweat glistening on your golden skin. You’re so desperate and beautiful. Just for me, right baby? Just for me.”

“Harry, Harry please,” Louis’ hips bucked, “I have to...please can I...please…”

“Come for me, angel. Come for me. You can do it. Make yourself come, baby.”

Louis took himself in his hand, stroking himself to orgasm in just a few short, sharp strokes of his fist. He came in hot streaks upon his stomach, gasping into the phone and praying to God he was quiet enough not to wake anyone. He tossed his head back against the pillows, breathing heavily into the phone. Finally, Harry’s voice said -

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Louis chuckled into the phone lazily.

“So...how was that?” Harry asked worriedly, “Not too bad for my first try at phone sex, eh?”

“Styles, I haven’t had an orgasm that hard in...in quite a long time.”

“And that’s just over the phone,” Louis could hear his smile again, “Imagine how hard I’m going to get you to come in person!”

“Christ. You’re going to kill me, Harry. You’re actually going to kill me dead.”

“Oh hush,” Harry giggled, “Won’t be such an awful way to die though, would it?”

“Just you wait,” Louis grinned wickedly, “You don’t get to have all the fun here, alright? Just you wait until I get my hands on you. Gonna lay you out, all naked and pretty just for me. And I am going to absolutely torture you, darling. Just you wait,” Louis sneered into the phone.

“Jesus,” Harry hissed.

Louis giggled, “Want a taste?”

“Of...of course! But Lou, tonight was about you, okay? My birthday gift to you. I promise you though, you can have your way with me when we see each other, okay. But tonight was all about you. All about me making you feel good.”

“I appreciate it, Hazza. I haven’t felt so good in such a long time. Thank you, baby. It was a lovely birthday gift.”

Louis knew he was blushing as he said, “I’m glad. I’m so glad, Lou.”

“You’re amazing, baby,” Louis ran a hand through his hair, pushing the sweat-matted fringe from his forehead, “You truly are. Gonna show you just how amazing you are as soon as I get you alone with me. I can hardly wait.”

“Jesus, Louis.”

“We take care of each other, okay,” Louis reached around for a t-shirt on the bed to clean himself up, “We take care of each other. You do for me, and I do for you. Partnership and all that, sweetheart.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Jesus, I think you might have made me get cum on the ceiling.”

“Okay, one: how is that even possible? And two: I did not make you get anything anywhere.”

“One: did you hear yourself? And two: yes you did, it’s your fault it’s there. You’re the one who made me come that hard.”

Harry giggled, “It wasn’t that amazing.”

“You kidding? I think I lost some brain cells there.”

“Lou, any brain cells you think you might have lost on account of my phone sex were already missing prior to me even calling you.”

“Oi, don’t make me come over there, Styles.”

“What are you going to do about it, Tomlinson?”

“You’re asking for it.”

“But of course,” Harry said innocently, “Anything, if it means you coming over here.”

“Sap. Besides, sweet talk will get you out of nothing.”

“And what, pray-tell, am I trying to get out of?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Hmm. Must not be too threatening if you haven’t even thought it up yet.”

“Or it’s so threatening that it requires a lot of thought.”

“Too bad for those lost brain cells then.”

“Oi!”

\----

The next morning, Louis awoke to a bed full of bouncing kids, giggling and shaking him and urging him to hurry up and come downstairs so they could all open presents. It didn’t take much encouragement from them for Louis to be fully awake and after instigating a tickle fight with them, they all headed downstairs to open gifts. The youngest set of twins were finally old enough to understand and open and their gifts. Louis was quite certain watching kids opening presents was one of his most favorite things in the entire world. And once all the presents were opened, and wrapping paper discarded all over the living room floor, he and Lottie and Fizzy set up pillows and blankets by the fire where seven kids curled up to watch the Christmas specials on TV while Jay and Dan worked on preparing the Christmas dinner. 

“Next Christmas,” Lottie said, lifting Louis’ arm and slotting herself underneath it, “bring your boy home with you. Want to meet him.”

“I will,” Louis pressed a kiss on her forehead, “Gonna interrogate him?”

“No,” Lottie wrinkled her nose.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Fine. But it’s my duties as your sister. Wanna make sure he’s good enough.”

“He’s good enough, Lots. He’s more than good enough.”

Lottie pressed a kiss to his cheek before saying, “Shut up, you’re interrupting the movie.”

They spent the day curled up in their blanket forts watching more Christmas movies until the little ones got tired of that, and insisted they put on Frozen instead. Louis pretended to moan about it, but Fizzy was quick to call him out for mumbling along to all the songs. And when dinner was finally ready, they all gathered around the dining room table for Christmas ham and mash and veggies. As they were all eating and laughing and talking, Louis couldn’t help but look at the chair beside him where Fizzy was sitting. Next Christmas, he was certain Harry would be there, and he could hardly wait.

\----

“I am going to miss you so, so much,” Jay said, her arms wrapped around Louis in a tight hug, “I don’t want to let go of you. They’ll have to pry me off with a tire iron, I swear.”

“Mum,” Louis laughed, wriggling in her arms, “I’m going to miss my bus.”

“That’s the idea.”

“Mum!”

“Sorry!” Jay laughed, finally giving him one last squeeze before dropping her arms at her side, “It’s just going to be a lot quieter without you. I miss having my gorgeous boy home, and all the kids do too. It’s just not the same when you’re gone.”

“I’ll be back soon, Mum. I promise. Easter holidays will be just around the corner, and I’ll be home then. It’ll go by fast, you’ll see. And besides, what are you talking about it’ll be quieter? You’ve got six kids at home. The house doesn’t know the definition of the word quiet. You’re going to be fine, Mum. And I’ll be back in just a few months.”

“I expect you to call me more often than just once a week, Louis. You have to be better about that.”

“I’ll try to be. I will miss you, Mum.”

“I love you, Lou.”

“I love you too.”

They hugged one last time before Louis picked up his luggage and headed towards his bus. He gave one last look behind him before waving goodbye to his Mum. It was hard to say goodbye to the kids earlier that morning, especially when both sets of twins looked up at him with tears in their eyes. But he’d managed alright then. But saying goodbye to his mum was an entirely different story. As soon as he sat down at his seat, he had to wipe at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. Once the bus pulled away, he pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a text off to Harry --

“Headed home. You still picking me up?”

It didn’t take long for the reply to come: “But of course babe xx”

Louis smiled and tucked his phone back in his pocket. A feeling of nerves suddenly began to wash over him as the bus neared closer to the station. He didn’t know why he was so nervous - it was Harry for god’s sakes. He shouldn’t be nervous at all. But he couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious the closer he got to seeing Harry in person. He knew it was silly, they’d just talked on the phone again last night, but he was still worried. What if something had changed over the break? What if once they saw each other again, things would be different? Louis knew he was being ridiculous, but he still bit every nail to the quick before the bus pulled into the station. Taking a deep breath, he gathered his luggage and stepped off.

At first he didn’t see him, and his heart began to race - until a taller man moved aside, revealing Harry standing off to the side with a bouquet of red roses in his hands. Louis couldn’t believe he had the cheesiest person in the world as a boyfriend. But in spite of wanting to tease Harry relentlessly for this, his eyes still managed to become watery.

“Hi, darling,” Harry smiled, dimple cratering into his cheek.

“Harold, you absolute sap,” Louis laughed through the tears in his eyes, “I can’t believe you actually brought roses. What the fuck.”

“You’re actually blushing. Has no one ever brought you flowers before?”

“Never.”

“Well, expect lots of flowers for the rest of forever then. Because with me, you’re going to be getting so many flowers, Lou.”

“I can’t believe you’re such a sap.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“Jesus,” Louis breathed at the sudden realization, “Can I...can I hug you?”

“Fuck yes,” Harry chuckled, and Louis collided into his arms. They stood together in the middle of the station, arms wrapped around each other, not daring to move. Louis held Harry tightly, wrapping his arms around so his hands clasped together at the center of Harry’s back. He dug his face into the softness of Harry’s sweater, breathing him in. He felt ridiculous for worrying on the bus. Nothing had changed. They still wanted each other, and they were still in love, and he never ever wanted to let go.

“Babe,” Harry laughed, “We have to get going okay. We have some place to be.”

“Oh, right,” Louis grinned, pulling back, “the surprise party no one is throwing for me.”

“Lou,” Harry rolled his eyes, picking up Louis’ suitcase for him, “I told you that’s not happening today.”

“Right.”

“I wish you’d listen to me. There is no surprise party today.”

“Whatever you say, love,” Louis fell into step with Harry as they made their way over to Niall’s car. Harry just laughed and shook his head.

Once in the car, Harry cranked the heat up and Louis fiddled with the radio. Niall always did have it turned to the most random station. If Louis had to listen to Irish traditional music on the entire ride home, he was sure he was going to lose his mind. After finding a 90s rock station and settling back against the passenger seat, he turned to look at Harry. He still couldn’t believe that any of this was real. He almost wanted to pinch himself just to check.

As they continued down the road, Louis noticed Harry had missed their exit.

“Haz...our exit was back that way.”

“I know.”

“Okay? So then...why didn’t you pull off there?”

“Because we’re not going there.”

“And where, might I ask, are we going?” Louis eyed him suspiciously.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Ah, so it’s the party then.”

“Nope. Not the party.”

“Will you just admit there’s a surprise party for me?”

“Will you just admit you don’t know everything like you think you do?” Harry smiled sweetly and Louis wanted to pinch him. If he wasn’t driving and if it wouldn’t have a chance of causing them to crash, Louis totally would have. Instead, he just huffed and folded his arms across his chest and stared out the window at the passing scenery. After his surprise party, he was going to completely take the piss out of Harry for being the worst liar in the entire history of the world. He could hardly wait. He was never going to let him live this down. 

Suddenly, Niall’s car pulled up in front of a familiar building and Louis’ eyes nearly bulged from their sockets.

“Haz...Haz. This is...this is _The Corinthia._ ”

“I know.”

“What are we doing at _The Corinthia?_ ”

“Not having a surprise party,” Harry smirked, pulling the car towards a valet zone.

Louis’ mouth dropped open as Harry stepped out of the car and went around to the back to pull out not only Louis’ suitcase from the boot, but also his own duffel bag as well. Louis sat, dumbfounded in the passenger seat until Harry finally came around and opened his door.

“Are you going to get out, or are you just going to sit in there all night?”

“What are you talking about? Haz, we can’t stay here. Harry, there’s no way.”

“Hush. Now be good and come along.”

Louis pouted at being told to be good, but eventually got out of the car and followed Harry dutifully into the gorgeous hotel. He couldn’t believe they were actually stepping inside _The Corinthia._ What was Harry doing? There was no way they could ever stay here. There was just no way....

To Louis’ dismay, Harry began to walk to the elevators. Louis had no real choice but to follow and see where this was going. He was half amused to see just how long it’d take before someone would catch on to them and throw them out on the curb where they belonged.

“Where are we going?” Louis hissed as soon as they were in the elevator.

“To the Whitehall Suite,” Harry answered easily.

“Harry. What are we doing going to the Whitehall Suite?”

“Going to our room, of course.”

“Okay,” Louis grabbed at Harry’s sleeve, “Can you please explain to me what the hell is going on here? We’re going to get thrown out. We can’t just…”

“Will you hush?” Harry chuckled, clearly amused by Louis’ anxiousness, “We’re not going to get thrown out. We have the suite. It’s ours for the night.”

“What are you off about? There’s no way we can afford…”

“It’s already taken care of,” Harry wrapped an arm around Louis, “The suite was available and I might have convinced Gemma to give me her Christmas money to cover the bill, but it’s ours for the night, Lou. Really, truly ours for the night.”

“Harry,” Louis gasped, “You did not swindle your sister out of her Christmas money to bring me to The Corinthia.”

“I did,” Harry squeezed Louis tighter against him, “Surprise! Told you you weren’t going to have a surprise party tonight.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Oh you do not,” Harry laughed, “Besides, I wanted tonight to be special. I wanted tonight to be just for us, just about us. If we were to go home, we’d have Liam, and Zayn, and Niall. And I just...I want you to myself tonight.”

“And we couldn’t have just gone to any other hotel?”

“Go big or go home, right?” Harry winked just as the elevator doors opened.

Once inside their suite, Louis felt all the air rush out of his lungs. It was positively the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Everything was gorgeous tones of reds and browns, and the king sized bed looked absolutely divine. He still couldn’t believe that Harry had done this for them - for him. 

“I love you,” he said, not knowing what really else more to say beyond that.

“I love you too,” Harry walked over to Louis and embraced him, “I love you so, so much, Louis. And tonight is going to be so special, yeah?”

“I don’t know,” Louis grinned wickedly, “I think that bed almost looks too pretty to defile.”

“Oh, okay then,” Harry smirked, releasing Louis and beginning to walk backwards as he kicked off his shoes, “Well that’s fine then,” he kicked the shoes aside and continued to walk backwards towards the bed as he began to take off his sweater, “We can just sleep tonight then,” he tossed the sweater to the floor before his fingers began to work at his button-up, “I’m a bit knackered, after all. Some sleep will do me some good,” he unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and tossed it to the floor as well before moving his fingers to the button of his jeans, “You should probably get some sleep too, Lou. You’re looking a bit sleepy yourself, after a…”

Louis let out a little growl from the back of his throat before tackling Harry back against the bed, causing them both to giggle as they bounced together on the crisp, white duvet.

“Shut up,” Louis rolled his eyes, moving to straddle Harry, “And get these fucking things off, would you?” He tugged Harry’s jeans down his hips and Harry helped kick them off the bed, “Jesus Christ,” Louis t’sked, “You’re such a menace, aren’t you?”

“I learned from the best,” Harry grinned, propping up on his elbows.

“Still can’t believe you did all this for me,” Louis said, hovering over Harry a moment before pressing his lips to his, “Gonna thank you,” Louis said, moving to Harry’s jawline, “Gonna thank you so hard you can barely remember your own name.”

“God, yes,” Harry whimpered slightly as Louis sucked a lovebite against his neck.

“What do you like?” Louis asked, “Tell me what you like, Haz.”

“Anything,” Harry breathed, “Anything with you.”

“Okay,” Louis smirked, “That’s fine. But for this moment, baby - this moment right here - tell me what you want.”

“I-I want...I want everything with you, Lou. Everything you’re willing to give.”

Louis let out another little growl from the back of his throat before latching back onto Harry’s neck. He littered Harry’s neck and jawline with lovebites, reveling in the way it made Harry moan and throw his head back against the pillows. It’d been quite awhile since Louis was in charge in the bedroom, and while it wasn’t his usual position, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit high on the power he held over Harry. Every little touch, lick, or bite elicited the most beautiful noises from his boy. And it was because of Louis. The goosebumps that broke out across Harry’s bare skin was because of Louis. 

Louis worked his way down from Harry’s neck and jaw to his chest and nipples. He kitten licked at one while pinching the other between his fingers. Harry keened as Louis repeated his ministrations, a smirk playing at his lips as he drank in Harry’s reactions.

“You like that, baby?” Louis asked, and before Harry could answer, grazed his teeth over Harry’s already abused nipple. Harry let out a cry, throwing his head back and balling at the duvet with his fists. Louis smirked again, “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, before repeating the same.

Louis continued on, teasing Harry and mapping out his body with his fingertips, tongue, and teeth. He learned and memorized every little spot that made Harry moan, gasp, shudder, giggle, and squirm. He wanted to learn every little inch of Harry’s body, and spent as much time as he could in doing so. He covered every inch of Harry in kisses, testing out his body and the responses he could pull from him. It turned out that Harry loved being bitten, loved the sensation of teeth scraping his skin. And Louis loved giving that to him, loved making him feel good through that. 

He continued on, taking in every little sound and movement Harry made, memorizing every little thing. He stored away little things inside his brain for further exploration - like the way Harry enjoyed his hair being pulled, or his nipples tweaked and tugged. He memorized the fact that Harry’s flank was the most ticklish spot on him, and the fact that the backs of his legs were crazy sensitive as well. He touched, licked, kissed, bit, tickled, nuzzled every spot on Harry’s body, except for the one spot where he needed it the most. 

“Please, Lou,” Harry was begging now as Louis sucked a lovebite right on Harry’s hip, “Please.”

“Please what?” Louis teased, nosing along Harry’s groin, “What do you need, baby?”

“Please, please touch me,” Harry rasped.

“But baby,” Louis smirked, reaching up to tweak his nipple, “I am.”

“Not what I meant,” Harry gritted out through clenched teeth. His legs were shaking against the duvet, and sweat matted his curls to frame his face. His cheeks were flushed pink and his lips were bitten blood-red. His green eyes were black with how blown his pupils were already. He looked completely and utterly wrecked already, and was by far the most beautiful thing Louis was sure he’d ever seen.

“Louis, please,” Harry begged, “I can’t. I can’t. Please do something.”

“Alright, love. Alright. I’ve got you, okay? I’ll take care of you. Shhh,” Louis soothed, “I’ve got you, baby. And I promise you, I’ll take care of you. Just let me enjoy you a little bit longer, okay?” Louis ran his fingertip along the slit of Harry’s cock, “Remember on the phone?” Louis smirked, repeating the action as Harry’s hips jerked wildly, “Remember how you teased me so long with this? What do you think about getting a taste of your own medicine?”

The whine that came from Harry’s lips was absolutely filthy. Louis simply chuckled, “Gonna tease you for a bit, baby. Gonna work you up just like this. Gonna keep you on edge for awhile before I decide if I’m going to let you come or not. How about that?”

“Cruel,” was all Harry could manage.

Louis chuckled, “I know. Hmm...what else was there? Oh yeah,” the grin grew more wicked, “This,” Louis dipped his nail into Harry’s slit, and Harry’s hips flew off the mattress. His head hung back and tears began to fill his eyes. Louis smirked, knowing damn well what this was doing to his boy, and enjoying every minute of it. 

“Told you I was going to get you, didn’t I? And what was it you said?” Louis asked, tickling his fingernails over Harry’s overly-sensitive tip, “Oh yeah...I believe you said I didn’t have the brain cells enough to think up something like this.”

“P-please,” Harry was shuddering and Louis was relentless. He had promised Harry he would make him feel just as good as he’d made him feel on the phone Christmas Eve. And after having gotten them this suite in this hotel, Louis figured he would make him feel as good as he possibly could for all that.

“Not yet,” Louis had to bite down on his smile as he continued to tease and tickle Harry’s tip, “You’re so beautiful, you know,” Louis mused, “The most beautiful boy in the world, Haz. You should see yourself right now. You’re completely wrecked. You’re so gorgeous, H. So, so gorgeous like this. All laid out and beautiful and wrecked just for me. No one else gets to see you like this but me. And you’re so, so beautiful, Haz. The most beautiful boy in the world. How the hell did I get so lucky, huh? How the hell did I get so lucky enough to have you? To have you like this?”

If it was a question Harry was meant to answer, Louis didn’t give him the chance. He swallowed him down until he hit at the back of his throat. Harry let out a cry as Louis took him, working him until Harry came, on a shout, down the back of Louis’ throat.

Louis wiped the corner of his mouth with his wrist before crawling up the mattress to lie down next to Harry. Harry was breathing hard, his stomach clenching. His curls were matted at his forehead, and Louis gently brushed them back with his hand, soothing them away and beaming down at Harry with the most face-splitting look of fondness he could muster.

“I love you,” Louis said.

“I love you,” Harry reached up and ran a hand along Louis’ cheek, “so, so much, Lou.”

“I am so lucky to have you, Haz. I mean it,” Louis laid back against the pillows, running a fingertip along Harry’s chest, marveling in the goosebumps it excited, “I mean it. I love you so, so much. And I just...I am so thankful we get to have this chance again. I don’t ever want to let you go this time. I don’t plan on ever letting you go this time.”

“Good,” Harry smiled sleepily, “because I’m not letting you let go of me. You’re stuck with me, Lou. For as long as you’ll have me, you’re stuck with me.”

“That so?” Louis smirked.

“Absolutely.”

“You sure you want a pain in the arse like me?” Louis asked, running his fingertip over one of the tattoos on Harry’s bicep.

“Not a pain in the ass, Lou,” Harry tucked his hand into the hair at the nape of Louis’ neck, “A bit of a brat, sometimes a proper shithead. But not a pain in the arse. Now then, lie back.”

“Aren’t you tired?” Louis asked, but obeying Harry’s command anyway.

“Nah. Besides, you don’t get to have all the fun, right? I want to give you what I told you over the phone that night. Now then, lie back and let me have my fun with you.”

\----

Louis was pretty sure this was what dying felt like - dying in the best, most amazing way possible though, just to clarify. He was currently laying back against the pillows, and Harry had been working him over for what felt to him like a century. His whole body felt like it was on fire. Every nerve ending felt like it was sparking. His skin was a mess of goosebumps and lovebites. Every little touch was just on the side of too much - much too much. But Harry was relentless in his torture. Louis wasn’t sure he could take much more of this. Sweat was beading at the backs of his knees and along his forehead. His whole body was shuddering against his control. He couldn’t even think anything besides, “yes, yes, yes!” And it wasn’t until Harry reached up to brush his thumb along Louis’ cheek that he realized he was crying. 

“I’ve got you,” Harry soothed, “don’t worry, baby. I’ve got you. And I’m going to take such good care of you, Lou. Such good care of you. But let me have my fun first. Let me play with you just a bit longer. Then I’ll take care of you, baby. I promise.”

By the time Harry finally let him come, Louis was completely spent. But not too spent to not whack him in the head with a pillow when Harry was wiping him up and casually said, “Huh, I don’t think you were kidding about that ceiling thing.”

\----

Louis was laying back against the pillows, imagining what it would be like to never move from this spot. He was quite certain he could just melt into the mattress and never move again. Everything felt floaty and soft. He still couldn’t believe that Harry had done all this for him. It was quite amazing. Harry was quite amazing. Speaking of Harry...Louis turned his head to the side to scan the bedroom of the suite to see where his boy had gone off to. Harry appeared from the master bathroom, a warm, damp flannel in his hands.

“We should clean up a bit,” Harry smiled a crooked, lazy grin, “So as to not mess up the sheets.”

“Love, the sheets are already a mess,” Louis’ smile spread, breaking across his face.

“True, but still.”

“Would rather just get a shower,” Louis said honestly.

“Oh,” Harry’s face fell ever so slightly, and Louis couldn’t help but feel so endeared.

“A shower with you, silly. Wanna wash you.”

Harry bit down on his smile, nodding happily. Louis pushed himself up off the bed. He could have laid there forever, but when he had Harry waiting for him, it wasn’t much of a debate. He grabbed for Harry’s hand, and together they headed into the spacious bathroom. Harry went over the shower and fiddled with the faucet in order to find the proper setting. Louis couldn’t help but eye his bum as he bent over to reach the faucet.

“Enjoying the view?” Harry asked, laying on a thick dose of flirtatious to his voice.

“But of course. Prettiest view in all of London,” Louis smirked, reaching over to give Harry’s bum a light pinch, making Harry yelp. Louis chuckled, “That water ready yet, love?”

“I think so. You get in first.”

Louis stepped past him into the spacious shower. The water temperature and pressure was just right, and if Louis thought the bed was heaven, he’d been wrong. This shower was heaven. He watched Harry step in, a shy smile playing on his lips as he did. Maybe it wasn’t the bed or the shower that was heaven, Louis mused - maybe it was whatever he was experiencing with Harry that was the real heaven.

“Get under,” Louis commanded, “Wanna wash you, baby. Wanna wash your hair. Everything.”

Harry couldn’t really object to that. He slotted himself under the stream of water, running his hands through his curls, getting them soaked, before stepping to the side. Louis grabbed for the bottle of soap - a milk and honey flavor. He couldn’t imagine anything more perfect to use to wash Harry. He lathered the soap up in his hands before running his hands across Harry’s chest and shoulders. Harry sighed happily as Louis soaped him up. He shuddered as Louis’ hands wandered down his chest, lightly across his nipples, and down to his abs. His abs were clenching as Louis paid them special attention, and Louis couldn’t help but smirk at how adorable his boy was. Louis continued on down to Harry’s thighs and shins, massaging the soap against his skin as he went. Harry looked completely blissed out, and Louis couldn’t help but smile. His eyes were shut and his head was thrown back slightly as Louis worked him over with his hands. Louis bit down on a playful smile as his hand went to Harry’s cock. Harry’s eyes flew open and his hips stuttered.

“L-Lou?”

“What?” Louis asked innocently, his eyes sparkling playfully, “Said I was gonna wash you, didn’t I?” His hand continued to stroke over Harry’s cock, and Harry had to grab hold of the handle of the shower door for balance. It didn’t take long for Harry to come a second time that afternoon. Louis smiled triumphantly as Harry pressed the side of his head against the cool wall of the shower.

“Menace,” Harry said, his voice thick with post-orgasm bliss.

Louis smirked, giving his cock a little tap with his finger before standing up from the shower floor, “You love it. Now then, get over here. Have to wash your hair next.”

“Lou, I can barely stand.”

“I’ve got you. Come over here, baby. Right here in front of me. Gonna wash your hair for you. Your beautiful curls, Hazza.”

Harry moved from his place glued against the shower wall to stand where Louis had pointed. Louis had to stand on his tiptoes a bit to reach Harry’s head, but he didn’t mind. The moans that he elicited simply from shampooing and massaging Harry’s scalp went straight to his own cock. He made a mental note to hold onto that bit of information - that Harry loved having his hair played with and tugged at - for a later time. He swallowed thickly as he scratched his nails over the scalp at the base of Harry’s neck. This was about Harry though, and he tried to push all thoughts of his own arousal off for the time being. Until he was done with Harry’s shampoo, and Harry rinsed the suds from his curls before turning to Louis and saying --

“Alright, little love. Your turn now.”

Harry washed him like he made love to him - slow, careful. Every touch something new and exciting. Louis was shuddering by the time Harry was working over his bum, massaging it and gripping it and squeezing it like he’d never, ever stop.

“H-Haz…” 

“I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Turn around for me love.”

Louis did as Harry commanded, only to see Harry drop to his knees on the shower floor. Louis let out a high-pitched whine from the back of his throat even before Harry swallowed him down.

“Best shower I’ve had in my entire life,” Louis told him as they were standing at the mirror in the bathroom, running soft cotton towels over their bodies.

“Can’t say I’ve got any complains, that’s for sure,” Harry smirked. Louis pinched his nipple.

“The day is still young, Haz. What shall we do while we have the room to ourselves?”

“Well,” Harry smiled that lazy smile that let Louis know he already had a few plans up his sleeve, “There is room service, a big screen television, and a gorgeous king-sized bed. Let’s say we order in some food, set up on the bed, rest up and bit and watch some movies or summat before we get back to round three.”

“Jesus,” Louis shook his head in disbelief, “Alright. Alright, sounds...sounds amazing Haz.”

They ordered burgers from room service, with extra orders of fries and two strawberry milkshakes. They sat on the bed, eating their food, giggling and talking and ignoring Inception that was currently pulled up and playing on the television. They spent the day trying to catch each other up as much as possible on what they’d missed in each other’s lives the past five years. Harry confided more about his ex, and opened up to Louis about how nice it was to finally be comfortable enough to return home to visit his family. Louis told Harry all about the newest set of twins, how Doris and Ernie already had the biggest personalities and how he couldn’t wait for Harry to meet them one day soon. They talked of Niall and Liam and Zayn, and how thankful they were for their best mates. They talked of school, and the possibility of Harry being featured in the spring gallery showcase. They teased and bantered and threw fries at each other’s heads. And once lunch was done and set aside, a pillow fight somehow broke out that turned into a tickle fight that turned into rounds three and four.

That night, exhausted from orgasms, exhausted from their day, they collapsed against the pillows, the lights shut off, and wrapped their arms around each other, noses pressed together.

“Hazza,” Louis said, running a finger along Harry’s cheek.

“Yeah, baby?”

“This has been the best day. Thank you so, so much, sweetheart. Honestly.”

The dimple cratered in Harry’s cheek as he said, “Of course, Lou. I’ve had the best day too. I am so glad we got to have this together.”

“I am so glad I get to have you,” Louis squeezed for emphasis.

“Me too, Lou. Still can’t believe it.”

“Mum said it must be fate or summat. Said this stuff doesn’t happen outside of fairytales.”

Harry ran a hand through Louis’ hair, “I’ve missed you so much these last five years, Lou. You’ve always been the one, Lou. Always. Whenever anything happened, you were the one I wanted to share it all with. I’ve thought about you so much over these five years. Maybe not every single day, but at least once or twice a week you always managed to pop into my head. And I couldn’t help but think ‘what if…’ and now we’ve found each other again and we get to have this again. And i just...I am so, so happy, Lou.”

“Me too, baby. Me too. I used to imagine what it’d be like to just get to see your smile one last time, hear you laugh one last time. Now I get to experience all those things as much as I’d like.”

“For as long as you’d like.”

“For infinity.”

“For infinity.”

 


	2. Epilogue

“Lou! Come on!” Zayn’s voice boomed from the other side of the bedroom door, “We’re going to be late! Move your arse!”

Louis smirked, doing up the buttons of his black button-up. He still had time, he was watching the clock like a hawk. Besides, tonight was special and he wanted to look his best. 

“Shut up, we’re not going to be late and you know it. You’re just being a pain.”

“Look, we have to be out the door in five minutes and you’re the only one that’s still fussing over himself. You’ve already completely got that boy wrapped around your little finger, Lou. He’s going to think you look stunning no matter what. Now will you hurry up!”

“Oh fuck off,” Louis rolled his eyes, running his fingers through his fringe with expert care.

“Don’t make me go get Liam,” Zayn threatened.

“Don’t make me go get Liam,” Louis mocked, grabbing his jacket from the back of his computer chair at his desk. He shrugged it on and shoved his hand into the pocket, just to check, before swinging open the bedroom door and smiling innocently at Zayn, “What’d I tell you, Zaynie? We’re not gonna be late.”

“You’re such a pain in the arse, Louis. I swear.”

“You love me,” Louis pressed a kiss to Zayn’s cheek, “Now then let’s go!”

“Is he finally ready?” Niall asked, twirling his keyring on his finger.

“Of course, Nialler,” Louis smiled sweetly, “Zayn was just freaking out for nothing.”

“It’d just be nice if you were ready more than one minute before we have to head out the door,” Liam rolled his eyes, “Alright. Everyone ready? No one needs to wee or anything? Okay, good. Let’s go.”

“I still can’t believe he was asked to be featured again,” Niall said as they loaded up in Niall’s car, “That’s huge, right Lou?”

“Yeah. No student has ever been asked to be featured twice at the gallery showcase. It’s a very huge deal. And there’s going to be several major art critics there. This is huge for him. If they like him - and they will - it’ll really get his name out there in the art scene before he’s even completed his schooling. It’s a huge honor and really, really amazing.”

“This is so cool, Lou,” Zayn squeezed Louis’ knee, “You must be so proud.”

“I am,” Louis smiled, “I really am.”

When they arrived at the gallery, everything was pretty much the same as it was when they were there back in October. There were so many people there already, and finding parking was a nightmare. But once Niall found a spot, they headed up to the main entrance. Louis could barely make out Harry through the crowd of people. He was wearing a black button down with white hearts, black skin-tight jeans, and boots. His hair was styled perfectly, and he looked absolutely stunning. Then again, in Louis’ eyes, he always looked absolutely stunning. 

He was currently talking to some of the art critics, saying something that had made them all laugh. Louis couldn’t help but smile as he watched the scene play out. Harry was a whole other level of charming, he truly was. He waved his hand around, indicating some of the photographs that hung on the wall behind him, and Louis caught sight of the silver band on his right ring finger as it caught the light. It was just one of several rings Louis had given him over the last five months of being together. It was sort of their thing, actually. Louis loved spoiling his boy in that way, picking out new pieces of jewelry for him from various antique shops and art stores. This ring though, the silver one catching the light as he spoke, was the first one Louis had given to him. It was the one he never took off. 

Suddenly, Harry’s eye caught Louis’ and a huge smile broke out across his face. Louis smiled back, lifting his hand to give him a little wave.

“Let’s go see his featured piece,” Niall tugged on Louis’ shirt sleeve, “I heard it’s the one that everyone’s talking about. Apparently it’s his best work. Have you seen it, Lou? Has he let you see it?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, “It’s been top secret, no matter how much I’ve tried to pry it out of him. It’s been driving me crazy, honestly. Yeah, let’s go see.”

They followed the rest of the crowd through the maze of white gallery walls to a center wall. Louis didn’t know why he felt so nervous as he waited for their turn to go up and see. He supposed it was because this was Harry’s most prized piece, and the one he’d kept under wraps for so long. Normally, he allowed Louis to see all his work. In fact, Louis had become kind of a fixture in the photography department since he spent so much time there with Harry. But this piece had been different. Harry had been adamant that Louis not see it until opening night. Louis had tried everything in his power the last month to get Harry to cave, to get Harry to at least tell him what it looked like. But Harry never caved - not for all the bribes, not for all the offers to do his chores for the next month, not for all the tickling Louis had subjected him to, or all the offered blow jobs. Harry was firm that Louis was not going to see this until tonight. And now the moment was finally here, and wave of nerves swept over him as he waited his turn to finally be able to see the photograph.

Finally, the line of people began to dissipate and it was Louis’ turn. He took a deep breath before stepping forward. The photograph was black and white, like all of Harry’s others, in a black frame. It wasn’t magnificent in size or stature, but it was easily the most beautiful photograph Louis had ever seen. A smile broke out across his face as his eyes scanned the picture. The photograph was of him. It was on the day he and Harry had gone to the park together for a picnic, it’d been Harry’s idea and who was Louis to ever deny him anything he wanted? So they had packed a lunch in a basket and had made their way to the park. Only Harry hadn’t really calculated in the weather, and Louis hadn’t really either seeing as how doing so would be counterproductive to giving Harry whatever it was he asked for. And just as they were settled on their blanket, about to dig into their cucumber sandwiches, the black clouds had started to roll in. And Harry had insisted that it would be fine, that they would be fine. He insisted that they had time to eat before the rains hit. And they had argued. It’d been a little spat, but a spat nonetheless. Louis had stood up from the blanket and had yelled, and Harry had yelled back at him. It wasn’t a very pretty moment in their relationship. But then the rains hit. It didn’t start out slow, there wasn’t a soft drizzle. It was a downpour. And Harry freaked, trying to salvage the food and rush to clean everything up. But Louis was still standing there, on the little hill where they had pitched their blanket. And he couldn’t help but laugh in that moment. He didn’t know why, but as soon as he’d started laughing, he couldn’t stop laughing. He tossed his head back and was laughing the hardest he’d laughed in awhile. And Harry had joined him. And suddenly, their eyes locked on each other’s, and their laughter subsided. 

“Get over here,” Louis had said. And Harry had scrambled to do as Louis had said, and they stood there in the downpour on that little hill, kissing in the rain - sandwiches be damned. After getting completely soaked, they had gathered up the remnants of their picnic and ran back to the flat where they tracked puddles all the way through to the bathroom where they immediately stripped out of their clothes and held each other under a stream of hot water in the shower, letting the steam engulf them. It was there in that shower where they kissed softly, where they locked eyes and just knew that this was it. And after their shower, they had wrapped each other in warm towels and held hands, walking back to Louis’ room that they shared now, and made love officially for the first time.

That day was one of the best days Louis had ever had. It was the kind of day that sticks with you, imprinted on you for the rest of your life. The kind of day that brings a smile to your face when you’re eighty years old and smiles might not come that often anymore. 

The photograph on the gallery wall was of Louis, standing on the hill, the moment the skies broke, the moment that he burst into laughter at nothing he could really pinpoint. His head was thrown back, his eyes screwed shut, the hugest smile on his face. You could practically feel his laughter through the photo. 

The little placard next to the photograph read simply: _A Moment in Infinity._

Louis blinked to clear the tears from his eyes as he stared at the photograph. There was a line of people behind him still to see it, but they could wait. They could all wait. As he was staring at the photo, he caught sight of Harry standing off to the side. Beautiful, amazing, lovely Harry. He was chatting with another critic, making them laugh again with one of his jokes. Louis stepped aside from the photo, allowing the person behind him the chance to see. Louis couldn’t help but listen in on the conversation Harry was having with the critic.

“You certainly are very talented, Mr. Styles.” Louis’ heart swelled with pride. “It’s rare to see someone so young who knows so much. You are quite talented and you truly know your craft, Mr. Styles. I’ve never seen someone with such attention to detail, such attention and care to the contrast of lights and shadows.”

Louis’ eyes clouded again, and he had to blink to clear them as Harry shook the critics hand and thanked him. Louis’ hand reached into the pocket of his coat. It was true, Harry was very talented. And it was quite true that he knew an awful lot. But there was still plenty he didn’t know. Like how they weren’t going to go to Elmer’s tonight after the showcase. Like how Louis had made them reservations at Zafferano. Like how Louis had another ring in his pocket to give, but that this ring would come with a question. 

“Hey you!” Harry said, his voice pulling Louis from his thoughts, “Sorry I’ve been a bit swamped. What do you think? Did you see it? Did you see the piece? What do you think?”

Louis squeezed the ring box in his hand before pulling his hand from the coat pocket to entwine his fingers with Harry’s, “It’s beautiful, Hazza. Absolutely stunning.”

Harry preened, “Thank you. I was so anxious for you to see it! And I know you wanted to see it earlier, but…”

“No, no. I’m glad you kept it a surprise, H. I’m glad I got to see it for the first time like this, tonight.”

Harry squeezed his hand in his, “I love you, Louis.”

“I love you too, Hazza. I love you for always. I love you for infinity.” 


End file.
